All Comments on 'Fun in Banff'

You need to learn punctuation: when to use a question mark, when a comma, when a dash, etc.

An OK story, but the writing and the style seemed a little formal — I can't imagine two people talking as these characters did. The story could use some serious editing — punctuation, sentence structure, and simply typos, for example: "He was fashionably dressed and his full head of hair was a bit longer than the average man of his age but combined with a nicely tailored double breasted blue blazer and complimenting camel slacks made him would could have been considered a model." The sentence is long and unnecessarily complicated, but "made him would could have been considered ..." should have been corrected in proofreading.

I respectfully disagree with the thought that the characters conversations are too "formal." I actually enjoyed a story where every 5th word is not "fuck" etc. Yeah, maybe you could have one of the literotica editors help with syntax etc, but I really look forward to the next chapter.