All Comments on 'Gary'

I bet that took about as long to write as it did to read. That's not even a flash story length .

Short , lukewarm. Pretty tame when it comes to real sharing. picking up a stranger for twenty minutes ,not that much fun , no investment in a pleasurable relationship between friends. Keep writing , maybe try a more poly relationship with some love and emotion from all parties . It makes the sex hotter.

Not a story, just a scene between 3 consenting adults. Just an issue: the husband one minute after meeting a perfect strange began to tell him about their fantasies? 2*

Welcome to Loving Wives. You asked for constructive comments so here goes: Try to keep your story situations believable. Ex. Would a couple really screw a complete stranger within mere minutes of meeting him? You claim your stories are genuine, so if you and Bruce really did this, the rest of us ain’t believing it, so write something more people can relate to. Ex. I’ve tried to picture your description of DP. Now having never experienced this particular activity, I can’t say you couldn’t do it ‘this-a-way’ but I have my doubts. It pulls me out of your story every time I have to say, “Huh?” and reread. Not good.

Now for a positive comment: I think you show real talent. Keep writing and don’t let the awful comments, that are sure to come to every LW writer, bother you.

What makes you think these authors are bothered by negative comments? They keep posting the same crappy story day after day.

Breaking up those long paragraphs makes the story much more readable.

Someone else commented it was just a sex scene and I would agree. If you're going to write you want seduction in your writing.

I mean would you answer the doorbell and drop to your knees and suck a strange cock because the guy is cute???? Not likely. That porn film territory.

Now if you met a cute guy and somehow (seduction) the relationship moves along in some fashion.......

things start to happen.........

you get seduced..........

consequences.........

etc......

Now you have something more like a story.