Happy? Pt. 02

Authors note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Happy? Part 2

Prelude: Confession

Somebody once said that confession was good for the soul. Ashley wasn't entirely sure what state of grace her soul might be in at this moment in time, but her stomach felt sick, and her heart felt like it was torn asunder.

She had waited for Colin to get back from work. It'd been just half a day since she had discovered that Jerome had been lying to her the whole time, playing on her sympathies by manufacturing an illness for his wife, messing with her mind so as to encourage Ashley to make all the moves, shoulder all the blame.

Ashley had considered sleeping on her decision to confess all to her husband, wondering if maybe the night would bring a different answer. She had eventually come to the conclusion that whatever other options she might come up with, this one, telling Colin she had cheated on him, was the most painful but also the only right one.

He had come home as cheerfully as he had left that morning, whistling as he opened the front door and stepped inside. From the hallway he was able to see straight through to the kitchen and Ashley's tear-streaked face had made the bright whistling dry up immediately. Of course, he had rushed to her side, wondering what had happened to upset her. Ashley had pushed him away gently, his concern only making things harder.

"I... ummm, there's no easy, no-good way to say this," Ashley began.

"Oh fuck, shit. Is it your mum? Your dad? Are they okay?" Colin asked, sinking into a chair across from her.

"They are fine, everyone's fine. Jesus... Colin... I don't want to hurt you..."

"What do you mean, hurt me?" His voice betrayed a new type of anxiety now, whatever news was coming, Colin now knew he wasn't going to like it. Ashley looked like she'd been gargling fuel, her face screwed up as if needing to spit or vomit.

"I cheated on you. Jesus, I'm sorry, but I cheated on you."

"When? No... are you joking? Why? Why would you?" Her husband wasn't a soft man, she'd seen him take on a would-be mugger one night, stopping a man who had threatened a woman walking ahead of them. Ashley had seen Colin at work, in court, full of confidence, shattering witness testimony, articulate, confident, intelligent. Now she saw him cry. The tears came fast, a hot flood that choked off whatever else he wanted to say. She waited, giving him time to gather himself together. While Colin fought to regain his composure, Ashley considered her next move. A full confession was only going to rub salt into the wound, better to understate what had happened, to spare colin as much as herself.

"When? Last week," Ashley began to answer his questions. "Why? Because I was stupid, I was feeling depressed, because someone showed me affection and I responded to it. Mostly because I was stupid, childish and uncaring."

"Do I know him?" Colin cuffed at his red eyes, sniffling as he spoke.

"No, you don't. I didn't know him either, he was a stranger." This was true at least. After Jerome's lies, Ashley felt she'd never really known the real him. It had all been an act, one she had bought into entirely.

She watched as Colin processed this, his eyes never leaving her, focused on her face as if trying to read her true motives from her expression, perhaps wondering how much she had omitted or changed. The chair scraped on the floor as Colin stood up abruptly. He said nothing as he walked into the hallway, retrieving his coat.

"Please!" Ashley called out. Colin paused, waiting on her to speak again.

"Please, please don't leave me," Ashley added in a small voice.

"I need to walk. I need to think," Colin answered, never looking at her. He opened the front door, stepping out into the dark October evening.

It was close to midnight before he returned, Ashley still sitting where she had been, at the kitchen table, her eyes fixed on the front door, awaiting his return.

He came inside in utter silence. If he noticed Ashley's face was marred by freshly shed tears, he made no mention of it. Colin went over to the fridge, opening it and pulling out two bottles of beer. Still mute, he opened both of them, setting one down in front of Ashley before taking the seat he had occupied earlier.

He took a pull off the beer, a long one. Ashley barely wetted her lips with her own, she couldn't drink, not with her heart in her mouth.

"I'm not an arrogant man," Colin began saying.

"Of course not, no, this was me, not you..." Ashley cut across him, babbling nervously. Colin stilled her with a look, staring until she fell silent.

"I'm not an arrogant man," he began again, "I never claimed to know everything. I never thought I was perfect. I thought we were perfect though." Ashley choked off a sob as he said this but otherwise remained quiet.

"I see it at work all the time, divorcing couples. Blaming one another, poisoning whatever good memories they'd shared, moving to the point that, with so much hatred on view, it was hard to believe love had ever existed between them. I used to think, God I'm lucky I married Ashley. This could never happen to us." Ashley began to cry once again, tears flowing freely but she stayed quiet all the same.

"I'm not a genius either. I can't calculate a percentage of responsibility for you, for me. There's no way I can accept full blame for this, same as I can't dump it all on you. This is a marriage and that implies shared responsibility." He watched as Ashley continued to cry; his face unreadable to her.

"This is still a marriage," he said simply and Ashley felt a hot lump in her throat, quashing her breath so that she had to release it with a wail. She sobbed loudly, tears falling faster when she felt him take her hand in his own. It wasn't a firm grip; he more or less just laid his hand across hers. But it was contact, something that was a lot more than she'd expected or felt she deserved.

"It's over between you and him?" he said, a statement as much as a question. Ashley couldn't talk, just nodding as she cried.

"I can't promise things will work out. You've broken my heart and I don't know that it can ever mend," Colin continued, Ashley trying to take his hand, to squeeze it but he lifted it clear of her reach.

"I do promise to try, to try get back to where we were, to be better, to you and for you. Can you promise me the same?"

Ashley nodded again, rubbing furiously at her face as she tried to stem the tears.

"I promise," she finally croaked out.

"Okay, go to bed. I'll take the spare bed tonight. Just tonight, I still need time away, I'm still really angry," Colin said. He rose from the table, pausing one final time.

"You could have told me. You could have said... something. Not giving me a chance, a choice. Not trusting me to help, not allowing me the chance to make you happy. In a way, that's the most hurtful part."

Chapter 1:

The next two weeks were filled with awkward moments. It was three nights before Colin returned to their bed. Seven nights before he tentatively touched her, his arm folding her into an embrace as it had almost every night since they'd been together. It was partially muscle memory, partially an indication of the gradual thawing of the chill that had settled between them.

Ashley just counted her blessings that things hadn't fallen apart after she had made a partial confession to him. It spoke of his maturity in the way he had handled things, the real love he felt for her in the way he decided to work on their marriage. She had made a promise to do better and she would. For a start, she had quit the gym. She didn't even bother looking for another one, for the moment Ashley decided to stay at home as much as possible. It was a penance of a kind, paltry given her sin but it would do.

Jerome had her number and she received multiple texts from him. All of them went unanswered. She didn't even want to give him the satisfaction of calling him out on his lies. Ghosting him seemed a more fitting punishment given that burning down his café wasn't a real option.

Things had settled back into a routine again. The atmosphere was more strained and Ashley felt that it was right for her to let the hurt fade before pushing Colin on things that might make a difference to her. More affection, physical affection to begin with.

As mid-October slid past on the calendar, Colin came home one night with some news. Their friends, his friends and their wives to be accurate, wanted to go out that weekend. Every Christmas, or winter to be accurate, a group of them made an effort to all gather together, with the toll of work and family responsibilities, it was hard to gather everyone for occasions like barbeques or birthdays. But unfailingly, the Christmas gathering always happened.

This year, George and Kate were going to be in Australia for a lot of November and all of December. They were visiting George's parents who had settled there a year before. To keep the tradition alive, the entire group were meeting that weekend instead. Colin and Ashley, the only ones yet to confirm.

"What do you think?" Colin asked her.

"I think we always go. They are your friends, our friends and we love seeing them," Ashley replied.

"But what do you really think?" He pressed as he always seemed to do now, unaccepting of her initial responses, suspecting deceit in her when there was none to be found.

"Honestly? I think we could do with going out, having a laugh. It won't... fix us, but I think it'll help to be around people who care about us. I miss us laughing together."

Colin frowned at her answer, scuffing a shoe on the floor. He pulled out his cell phone, sending out a group text. "I miss it too," he said, more gruffly than he intended, the emotion of the moment thickening his voice. Ashley hesitantly leaned in to him and when he didn't pull away, she kissed him softly on the lips.

Saturday evening came and Ashley and Colin got dressed up for a night out. They met up with the other five couples from their group, meeting for a quick drink before heading to an Argentinean steakhouse for dinner.

Of all the people there, Ashley got along best with Carmel who was married to Ian, Colin's oldest and best friend in the group. Carmel was born and bred in London but her parents were Irish and she'd spent many summers there. This had been a good foundation for them, both women finding a lot to like in one another.

In the pub and at dinner afterwards Ashley had allowed herself to relax, chatting animatedly with Carmel, teasing Ian for his latest haircut, enviously congratulating George and Kate on their six-week trip to Australia.

As she relaxed, Ashley noticed Colin relaxing in turn, so much so that he shot her a few secret smiles over the dinner table. It made Ashley wonder if a lot of the tension these last two weeks had been down to her poor husband worrying that she might leave him rather than he leave her. She'd been so caught up in nailing herself to a crucifix for her actions that she'd failed to consider what else Colin might be feeling apart from betrayal.

After the meal, and the accompanying drinks, the women dragged their overly dramatically complaining husbands to a popular nightclub in the city. Groove Town was a 70's themed bar and nightclub that, unsurprisingly, played only music from that era. The six men found the group some tables and set about ordering a few rounds of Sambuca. Carmel joked with Ashley that while the alcohol gave their men the courage to get on the dance floor it passed nothing along by way of coordination.

In varying numbers, twelve at once, eight, six, the party joined the dance floor. The only real constants were Carmel and Ashley, both women only circling back to the table every second or third song to pound back a fresh short or to sip at whatever cocktail their husbands had bought. Just after midnight, Colin took Ashley's hand as she pushed against him to find an untouched drink she could devour.

"Happy?" He asked looking into her eyes. Ashley was halfway to drunk, loving the music and the dancing but that question made her smile like she'd won the lottery. Colin had slipped back to the way he was before with her, for tonight at least, their problems put aside.

"Very!" Ashley answered, laying a slobbering kiss on her husband as she reached over to steal his drink. Colin laughed, swatting her on the ass afterwards.

"Get back up there, shaking your ass. Carmel looks lonely. I'll get you another drink while you're gone," her husband said while beside him Ian shook his head in comic disbelief as his wife suddenly screamed in joy. The scream echoed by all the women in the group, a sudden stampede for the dancefloor as the sound of an ABBA song thumped out from the club's speakers.

On the floor, Ashley was sucked into one of those occasional vortexes, bodies shifting and realigning, her friends flowing one way, her the other. She found herself on her own for the moment, uncaring as she moved rhythmically to 'Mamma Mia'. She needed this. The release. Two weeks without working out and her body reveled in the release of energy.

Ashley had dressed to impress, wanting Colin to feel good about his wife's attractiveness, proud. She wore a black one shoulder crop sequin top with a matching black sequin mini skirt. Her long legs, at five feet six they were pretty long, were toned from her exercises and the pale skin looked amazing to her mind against the midnight black of the skirt. Ashley's large 36E chest swelled out from the tight crop top, her flat stomach beautifully displayed beneath the materials edge. She felt good, she looked good and things were looking good with Colin. She shook her ass with joy on the dance floor.

Ashley found herself jostled from behind, lurching awkwardly forward as someone backed into her. She looked over her shoulder at two young men, early twenties at most, both holding up their hands and mouthing apologies beneath the loud volume of the music. One tall and black, a white shirt unbuttoned almost to the waist. The other, shorter and blonde, his long hair tied up in a Viking knot at the back of his head. Ashley nodded and smiled, turning back to enjoy the music.

Carmel wobbled through the crowd around Ashley, grabbing at her arm. Short, blonde and buxom, Ashley would have described her friend as gorgeous if it weren't for the little extra weight she had put on over the lockdown, a weight gain that seemed to continue despite Carmel's plaintive declarations of diets just not working.

"Don't feel well," Carmel muttered, "going to the toilets."

"Okay," Ashley said, pressing her mouth to Carmel's ear so that she could be heard over the music, "go there, I'll tell Ian and follow you to check you're okay."

Carmel patted Ashley's face. "You're the bhesth," she slurred.

Ashley danced and weaved through the crowd, arriving back at their table. All six of the men were in a group discussing Man City's chances for European glory.

"Ian... Ian," Ashley called to get his attention. Ian and Colin turning to look at her. "Carmel's not feeling well, I'm gonna check on her in the bathrooms."

"Looks like she took a wrong turn," Ian said, pointing at his wife who was staggering towards a door that led outside to an open-air smoking garden. He rose to follow her.

"It's fine," Ashley said. She lifted a fresh drink from the table, kissing Colin on the cheek in thanks. "I'll go after her, you guys talk shit about football. Back in a bit." Colin frowned for a second and then obviously thought better of it, flashing her a smile instead. Ashley zigzagged her way to the outside smoking area.

It was quiet and cool out there. The night's air had a chill to it but after the heat of the dancefloor, Ashley found it refreshing. The garden was fairly big, a few wooden barrels stood scattered around, serving as tables for those who wished to set their drink down while having a smoke. The barrels and the layout of the building itself lent nooks and crannies to the garden and it was in one of these that Ashley found Carmel, sitting with her back against the club's wall, head in her hands. Crouched beside her, Ashley recognized the blonde man from the dance floor. He was speaking softly to Carmel as Ashley walked up.

"Friend of yours?" He looked up to give Ashley a smile.

"Yes, what's going on?"

"Nothing. She was feeling a bit dizzy so I told her to sit down until it passed. She'll be fine," he gave Ashley a wink as he said it, full of youthful charm and charisma.

"You okay Carmel?" Ashley crouched down in turn, running a hand over her friends back.

"M'fine, jush need a minute," Carmel muttered into her own hands. Ashley straightened up and figuring there wasn't anything to do but wait she looked around for somewhere to set her drink down. She walked over to a nearby barrel, noting that the blonde youth had taken a couple of steps away from Carmel and was now lighting up a cigarette. A good Samaritan it seemed; Ashley winced at the way she'd been suspicious of his motives.

"Need a light?" Ashley started at the voice coming from so close. The young black man who had been on the floor had materialized beside her, now holding out a cigarette lighter towards her.

"No, I'm grand. Just out getting some fresh air."

"In the smoking area?" They both laughed at the lack of sense in that.

"I'm Grayson," he said.

"Ashley," she answered, looking over to Carmel, the blonde youth now squatting beside her once again.

"Just you two girls out for the night?" Grayson's question shifted Ashley's focus before she could decide if she needed to go back over to Carmel.

"No, a bunch of us. With our husband's," she added pointedly.

"Fuck, he okay with you lookin' so fine, out on the floor like that?"

'Probably not' Ashley thought but answered instead, "Of course."

"Thinking you love sweatin' it same as me," Grayson then said, earning a confused look from Ashley.

He flicked open his shirt, only a single button holding it closed, his smooth chest ridged with hard muscle.

"Gym, lookin' at you, I know you're a gym freak like me."

Ashley didn't want to look but she couldn't help herself, drawn to his hard black body. He stepped closer and instinctively, to hold him off, she put a hand on his chest. His hard bare chest. For a mad moment she found herself caressing it rather than pushing him away. He was attractive, that wasn't in question. It was just that his self-awareness in his own appeal had made him cocky, arrogant.

"Carmel?" she said her friends name out loud, looking over to see if Ian's wife had spotted her error in judgement. Carmel hadn't seen anything. She was on her feet again but her back was still pressed against the wall, held there now as the blonde man pressed against her, kissing her passionately.

"Fuck!" Ashley said.

"Yeah, your friends got the right idea," Grayson commented.

"She's insane, she's married," Ashley retorted.

"Just a kiss, nothin' wrong in a kiss." To prove his point, he kissed Ashley without warning. Once more, her bodies reflexes let her down, Ashley responding to his kiss automatically rather than looking to break the clinch.

He was a good kisser too, damn him. The right amount of pressure and movement, slow with the tongue, leading her to it rather than forcing it on her. As they kissed, he moved closer still, his body sandwiching Ashley between it and the barrel behind her. She kissed him back, her eyes closed as she wondered at her own stupidity.

This was daring or adventurous. It was suicidal if Ian or Colin walked out at any moment to check on their wives. Ashley decided she needed to take control, break away. Then his hand stole beneath the hem of her mini skirt, fingers brushing against her panty clad pussy and the idea of taking control slipped from her mind.