All Comments on 'Her Turn . . . Again? (750 Words)'

I did like it. You had me there for a while. Nice Twist

5stars

Good one!

5

That was great one! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Loved it

It was a good part 2

Nice twist.

Short and nice. Some proofreading would be good.

I saw where it was going as soon as she said "it's not going to be just the two of us any longer".

And that's OK! You've rapidly become one of my favorite writers here. Please keep writing!

Neat twist. No apology necessary. thanks

The thing most people seem to be missing is that they previously had an open marriage of some sort, hense the reference to stop having threesomes. I didn't like it at all. A bit too clever clever. 1 star.

Easy to see what was coming, yes, but that's not an issue at all in such a short story. Nice epilogue to the story!

Reading it as a stand alone, it’s well done! 4.5*

I really enjoyed the original story and this was a nice addition to that story. You continued the same theme from the original and added another nice twist. IMHO, It is time to leave it be. And please don't apologize for your writing, that is the LW commentors job.

Thank you for the good read.

I want to make a few points.

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It's okay to care what your readers think of a story. After all, if you only wrote for yourself, you would not publish it. However, you should never allow it to change what you are saying. It is YOUR story to tell. Criticism should make you learn where you failed to communicate your story in a way they would understand. That way, you actually grow as an author.

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Anyone who just wants to trash it is free to write a better story, but if they don't offer something constructive, please avoid them and be yourself.

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I liked it. I gave it 5 stars despite the giveaway ending because it made me smile. I think you could have couched the ending better by stressing the word threesome less, and going into more depth about the failed swing or other event that caused the MCs angst. Let the audience feel a deeper dread as her current behavior mirrors those events in his mind. At any rate, it was FUN to read and I thank you.

I like the twist and am not "unhappy" with you, but if I were him, I would most definitely get a maternity test once the brat is born!

Summing up her history, was on the pill, how she words things i’d be getting a DNA kit asap

😉

Did not expect that, jaded reader that I am. The decency challenged writers in LW throw so many cruddy stories into the category that I truly expected this to melt down into a septic mess of human depravity. Instead, I almost smiled at this one. Well played, well done. Five stars.

Not enough there for more than a 2

Seemed obvious to me, but it was still well spun.

Clever

As I wrote previously:

“Bullshit! He needs to divorce her anyway. She’s telling lies. If she hasn’t already been fucking other men, she’s going to do so now. Just because she doesn’t get her devil’s threesome doesn’t mean that she doesn’t still want more than just her husband anymore. She’ll just hide it going forward’l

ZK

You definitely got me with that clever twist.

In the first (!) line you quote

„ask and you shall received“.

When you quote the bible (Mathew 7:7), copy, but don‘t add faulty letters.

And then you commence

„ Luckily, editing is easier than writing it in the first place!“

Probably editing and proof reading is something you should put more effort into.

Saw it coming a mile away, buy the last line was a gem. I have not read the other story, and don't plan to. This one was okay. Three stars.

JPB

A very nice story and I gave it a 5*. Yes, the nit pickers and fault finders will pick you apart, they have done it to me. Cheer up. Know they do this out of their own low self esteem, knowing they can badmouth somebody without their knowing who they are... cowards to the nth degree.

I saw that coming. Well done, nice play with words.

AWESOME way to disguise the pitch never gave the batter a chance.

Would be better as a longer story but ok. Ending was easily guessed.

It was pretty predictable about pregnancy. Although, after so many rants about Cordon Bleu in a short story of 750 words, the twist could have been like this: "Dear, meet Pierre, he is from France and works as a chef in an upscale restaurant. Knowing your weakness for culinary delights, I'm sure you definitely won't mind if he sometimes cooks delicious French cuisine for us, and later at night we'll all study together... However, if you are still against threesome sex, then I will thank Pierre myself for his high culinary skills. Trust me, honey, sex is secondary here. First of all, I care about you and your gastronomic preferences!"

After reading to the finale, I was surprised that the idea of her pregnancy had not occurred to me. The thought was spinning in my head that that trial threesome with a woman turned on the toggle switch of a suppressed strictly lesbian orientation inside her.

This is a story like a woodpecker is a carpenter. It took an effort to think up this?

Wheew.

Glad it didn't turn out the way I thought it it will turn out. That was a good twist @IWroteThis.

A unique ending. I enjoyed it.

Good part 2 to the story. For a 750 word story, I still felt the emotion of the nameless husband. Thought the first story was fine on its own.

5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I like it but her past would require a DNA test

@Lanmandragon - Yeah, my first two stories were pretty much finished long before the 750 Word Project opened at the beginning of the month and I had a lot of time to try to polish them. What I didn't count on was how much I would enjoy the feedback and having people enjoy what I wrote. (I partially blame that on my English teachers, who never looked at the entertainment value of what I wrote. It's almost like they don't want people to become writers...) I quickly finished a couple of my other 750 word stories that I hadn't planned on posting this year. Then there is this one. Before I posted the original chapter, I had never envisioned more to this story. But, the outcry of the pitchfork wielding townsfolk led to me writing this chapter, with only one week from initial idea to submitting. So, yeah, this one probably could have use a bit more polish, but I didn't want to keep people with pitchforks waiting!

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@MellowJoe - One of the earlier drafts had it sound more like a threesome than a pregnancy, but I didn't like it and rewrote it. My intent was less about tricking the audience (beyond the title) and more about trying to show how her past behavior was still coloring his perception of her despite her change in behavior. Without that background, he would have instantly caught on that she was pregnant, just like you did.

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@SithLord6969 - I don't think folks are missing that. I think you missed that it was to be a one time thing, not an open marriage, and he put an end to it at just that, a one time thing. You're not alone, based on many of the comments that I received. In fact, I wrote this chapter in large part to put to bed the claims that she went behind his back when he said no more. I'll have to wait and see how well it worked...

Great setup enjoyed it!

Please proofread, two stars.

Amusing.

Fooled me gets you a 5!

Aw, sweet! I'm a sucker for a happy ending!

JR

4.5 stars. I admit I agree with any notional theoretical other commenters that would have called for paternity testing, but the story by itself is good. It was a little TOO obvious, but hey it's 750, it's funny, it's unexpected and the effort definitely deserves 4.5 stars rounded to 5. Thank you.

@Dare2Bro - The problem is that when I was setting up the series to link these two I used the number 3 in the short description. Almost immediately, I realized you can't have a two chapter story that revolves around the number 3. I don't know for sure if it will turn out to be a viable story, but it looks like they might become a trilogy...

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@waif - I appreciate the words of support! My comments about the pitchfork wielding mob were just me attempting to be humorous. I wrote this chapter because it spontaneously came to me while driving. I write down every story idea I can remember long enough to get back to my computer, and then advance them as the inspiration strikes me. As for changing my stories to satisfy the mob, this was the opposite with me reiterating the reconciliation from the first chapter.

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@ttt59 & @Rocky62 - I was beginning to think my powers of prediction were faulty, so thanks for the paternity test comments! I just need one more to reach that "few" threshold I set.

How could anyone read "There's going to be three of us " and not know were this was going? But that's only because we're reading this, not living it.

,

I know you were trying to be cute about it, but in reality, after what they went through before, writing her tell him that way board-lined on cruelty. How could she not have some idea that would be his initial thought.

Liked it just fine😉

liked

Worry less about the comments. write what feels right to you. You will never please everyone. This one works well.

The outcome was rather predictable from the wife's word choice, but with the limited word count (and this being LW), there's nothing wrong with being predictable. A solid 4.3* (rounded up) story. Thanks for sharing!

I did like it. Thank you!

@Rosenkavalier - Touché! The sad truth is that I did not put the author's notes through the same editing intensity that the story itself got. In hindsight, that was a rookie mistake and one I will strive to not repeat.

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@Anonymous - "It took an effort to think up this?" - Actually, as I mentioned, it came to me from the boredom of a two hour car drive, so not really.

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@beanburner69 - Thank you! As the third to mention DNA, my paternity test prediction has been reached!

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@Anonymous - "Please proofread, two stars." - I do try, but your comment would be a lot more helpful if you also pointed out what I missed so I know where I need to improve.

I know my friend TraLaLa will mock me as Captain Obvious, but I have to say it, it was pretty obvious that she was pregnant.

Come on own up who didn’t realise she was pregnant right from the first paragraph?

@SithLord, they didn't have an open marriage of ANY sort. They had ONE FFM threesome, that's it.

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@ttt59, you mean PATERNITY test, LOL!

Good stuff. Don’t apologize. Let the writers write their own stories. Doubt they can, of course. Well done 🤙🏿

Figured it out at the beginning. Not too much of a story.

Ending

Lame. And what is with the weak fearful husband? Are most writers that timid and non confrontational? As soon as he knew something was wrong he should have stopped everything right there and demanded to know what was going on? Why would the wife wait until after the dinner to announce her good news? The dinner should have been to celebrate the good news, in a normal marriage of strong honest people. Just weak and pathetic. Hope the dumb shit gets a DNA test. Naw, that's too scary, for sure.

Ignore the haters. It's good to find a story like this in literotica. GOOD JOB!!!!!!

You wrote this, and did a very good job with it too.

Hmm. Again no depth, like many I worked out she was pregnant from the word go, predictable seems to be a common ground here

Much better.

4 out of 5 from me.

Great follow up story. Thanks for your writing.

Such a nice follow up to the story.

Nice twist 😀

I kind of liked it. It reveals the broken trust, and it shows how vulnerable he is now that he (perhaps foolishly) didn't leave her after her previous machinations. And yet it looks like there's a shot at a happy life going forward, perhaps she's really changed. But he won't know for a long time yet. That's a lot to get done in such a short story, so good job!

🤣

This was a really cute story and a great followup, thanks!!

Good story. Stop apologizing. The last people in the world you should need or want validation from are the bitter, unloved dirty masses that lurk in the LW comments section.

Who the baby daddy?

This is a great sequal. You have left no doubt that they have a great marraige and that it is HIS baby. Your setup of a perfect dinner and a discussion of there being three of them from then on made it seem as though she had reconsidered a ‘threesome’. It created a tension that was fully and hapily resolved with her revelation. Thank you for a wonderful short story!

You're wrong my friend. It is as good as the first part. A bit more predictable than the first but very good. Keep writing please. BardnotBard

At least we now have 2 stages of a story, abbreviated of course but 2 is a big improvement