All Comments on 'Honey, I Shrunk Your Pussy! Pt. 05'

After the semantic and arithmetic confusion in the last two parts, the writer, Hofeeder, now introduces logical confusion! (Will this one also be the final confusion? the careful reader asks. Well, since there’s apparently at least one more part to this story, the careful reader will simply have to read on!) This time the confusion is not about Rachel and her “‘blown out asshole,’” but Jessica and a “retarded goofball” with a “baby-sized cock.” As soon as the narrator becomes aware of said goofball’s carnal intentions, viz., fucking Jessica vaginally, he authoritatively intervenes and lets the goofball (and the careful reader) know that:

“‘I don't want to blow that sweet pussy out yet. Maybe you can do that to her sometime in the future, but I plan on personally using that cunt for my own pleasure for at least four or five months. Now go get back in line behind Rachel.’”

Now there are multiple logical follies here! First, why send the goofball with the dick “as wide as a newborn” back in line behind Rachel (who is to be fucked only anally) when the narrator in the preceding part placed the greatest importance on NOT overstretching Rachel’s poop chute (after all the goofball is still “about eight feet tall” before buggering off even after his final size adjustment)? With the narrator even providing an—albeit confused—formula to calculate the maximum width/girth of the penetrating appendages? Second, why chastise the goofball for wanting to fuck Jessica (vaginally) with his infant for a dick, but then use the shrink rifle to make her father grow “over eight feet tall, maybe nine” with an accompanying “giant, thick and heavy, now thirteen or fourteen inch, cock” that “was as hard as a wooden log and almost as big?” So big indeed that laid upon supine Jessica her father’s “cock almost reached up to her tits!”

At this point any sense seems to have been lost from this story long ago. Indeed, even the slightly less confused and somewhat more sensible remainder of this part is rather forgettable, the ridiculously complicated ‘faux-faked’—and completely uncalled-for—incest coupling between Jessica and her father and Nancy’s spunk-addicted antics notwithstanding.

—AJ