I Never Saw It Coming...

The next day I couldn't help myself but to call her. Text? Fuck that. I needed to hear her voice. We talked a while about how nice the date was despite going home hungry and she lamented that while she definitely wanted to go out again, she'd rather do burgers and beers than something fancy. My kind of woman.

She mentioned she had something to do later in the afternoon, so instead of picking her up I just met her at her favorite little bar. They had great food and once again the conversation flowed effortlessly. After we ate and had a beer, she abruptly said she had to leave in a hurry.

"Oh shit, I'm late."

"No problem. Just go, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks. I'm sorry. I just have to... I can't be late."

"Sounds important."

"Ugh. I guess I should just tell you."

"Ok... but no pressure."

"Well, it is important. And it's important that I tell you. I have a little girl. Her name is Jenny and she's five. She's with her dad and he's a real asshole if I'm late."

"And you were hesitant to tell me because?"

"A lot of guys get scared off by the single mom thing and I really like you."

"Doesn't scare me at all. I like that you're a good mom."

"Doesn't feel like it sometimes. I pushed all my chips in with my career after the divorce and sometimes I feel like I neglect her as a result."

"The fact that you worry about that says it all. A bad mom wouldn't even have that thought."

"I hope you're right. Sorry, but I gotta go."

She gave me a quick kiss and darted out the door. I texted her to be careful and she sent me back a heart emoji. That evening, she called me, and we talked for a couple of hours. The next several weeks we saw each other as much as we could. We'd meet for lunch during the day, spent her off-weekend together, and eventually I went to her house after Jenny was in bed to sip wine on her porch. It was all going swimmingly until I went to the bathroom and walked through her house. The toys in the living room, the scribbled drawings on the fridge, and the little toothbrush next to the sink nearly broke me. I was noticeably shaken when I returned and excused myself in a hurry.

Waking up the next day I felt terrible. Hoping I hadn't ruined it, I sent her an uncharacteristically cold text simply stating, "I'm sorry for last night."

It was hours before she responded and I feared to even read it. "Sorry, closing a disastrous deal, will call in a few."

Another torturous 15 minutes and she called me. The second I heard her voice, full of concern, I was awash with her love. I wanted to tell her everything. She knew I had gone through hard times, but I never shared any of the details of my prior family life. For all she knew, I just randomly became a drunk for no reason. I asked her to meet me for lunch and once again we ended up at her favorite little bar. I poured my heart out about my family as the tears poured into my glass. She stretched across the table, taking my trembling hands into hers, and with tears in her eyes thanked me for telling her and I told her I loved her. I felt like it was odd thing for someone to thank you for, but later she explained that the mystery of my past made her a little nervous and was thinking I was too good to be true.

She cancelled the rest of her appointments that day and we sat and talked until it was time for her to pick up Jenny from her afterschool gymnastics program. We continued in our ways for almost two more months, avoiding the inside of her house and ending our nights together either at her front porch or in my hotel suite when Jenny was with her dad. The night she told me she loved me was the night I told her I wanted to meet Jenny. She talked so much about her, I mustered up the courage to put my past to the side and really wanted to meet her little girl.

Shelly was reluctant, but gave in after another couple of weeks of me proving myself by being able to use her bathroom and talking about Meagan and Hailey without breaking down. We even stayed at her place one night after a date. It took years and years, but this woman, this relationship was finally, fully healing me. I wanted a second chance at being a husband. I wanted a second chance at being a dad. I never considered this as possibility before, but I knew it was everything I needed.

We planned for a nice dinner at her house. I'd show up, meet Jenny, we'd sit and talk a bit -- as best you can with a 5-year-old -- then eat dinner. I could excuse myself at any time if it got uncomfortable, otherwise we'd have a little alone time after she went to bed and I'd leave. It all sounded pretty benign, but I was quite nervous. That night when I pulled up to her house, I sat in the car for almost 10 minutes before wiping the sweat off my palms, grabbing the little teddy bear I picked up on the way, and headed to the door. A few big deep breaths and I rang the bell.

Shelly answered, looking as ravishing as ever, grabbing my hand and looking into my eyes, calming me immediately as she could tell I was on edge. We spoke quietly in the living room to make sure I was ok, then she disappeared down the hall to retrieve Jenny from her room. I stood there nervously as she emerged with a miniature version of herself clinging to her leg and peeking out from behind. Two adorable little pigtails shifted back and forth as Shelly pried her off her leg.

"Jenny, this is my friend, Ben. Can you say 'hi'?"

Crouching down, my eyes welling with tears and my face burning with emotion, I stretch out my arm with the teddy bear.

"Hello Jenny, it's nice to meet you. I brought this for you."

"Hi" she says, looking into my eyes and clutching the bear into her arms.

"What do you say?"

"Thank you."

"Oh, you're very welcome, sweetheart," I say, fighting back the tears, my heart filling with the strangest flood of happiness I've ever experienced.

"Are you sad?" Jenny asks, with a sweet sort of innocence and concern.

"No, honey, I'm very, very happy," I reply, wiping the tears from my face and looking up to a smiling Shelly, who's cupping a tear under her eye with her finger.

"But you're crying. I cry sometimes when I'm sad. Do you want to hear a joke to feel better?"

Laughing as my heart bursts through my chest, "Yes of course Jenny, I'd love to hear a joke."

"Ok... it's a good one. Ready?"

"I'm ready."

"Knock, knock."