All Comments on 'Inner Fires Ch. 01'

Very good start and I look forward to seeing where you take me next

Akin:

Great story and excellent character development. Please keep writing as you are very talented.

My one suggestion would be to use other phrases for “hee hee” or “ha ha”. Either of those two words tends to throw the reader completely out of the story as there is no context. Instead, you might consider more descriptive phrases such as: “he said with a smile” or “he said said with a chuckle”.

Keep up the great work!

DOS

Thank you to everyone for your comments so far, and to the second comment made most recently, thank you! I am glad that I can write chapters that are enjoyable for you to read! I will keep your advice in mind, and I thank you for the constructive criticism! I've been slowly realizing this myself, and it is a habit I need to break, I admit.