All Comments on 'Into the Darkness Ch. 02'

I don't think you did justice to your first part of the story with this offering. Here's a guy with real anger in his heart (from your first part) and all of a sudden a blow job and a screw gets him all mellow? I don't think so.

I hope you think this one through before part 3.

Part One of this story was excellent. I think you let us down with Part Two. The only way to redeem yourself is to add yet another chapter and bring things together. Karen deserves it.

the hell is wrong with him??? She abandons him and their daughter, DOESN'T even show up for HER OWN daughters FUNERAL!! Calls him comes over to HIS house, isn't in the house 10 mins and starts sucking him, then fucks him. On top of all that she tells him " I NEED YOU ", wow BALLSY of her, where has she been all this time that him and their daughter needed her?? SO WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING??????? DONNA doesn't DESERVE him and Karen so as hell DOESN'T deserve him disrespecting her like this... Run Donna of ASAP and beg Karens forgivness....

Okay, I liked your first chapter. I thought it pretty realistically described a man who has just lost a beloved child. His sexual encounter with his MIL was fairly realistic - he was drunk, grief-stricken, and they comforted each other.<br><br>

But you lost me with him so easily having a sexual encounter with his ex wife, about 15 minutes after he just had another round of sex with the MIL. It's just too sceevy. Day after his daughter's funeral, and suddenly he's all right, grief all cleared up like magic? Probably the most painful loss in this world is the loss of a child. That pain stays raw and inflamed for a long time, not just a few days. While I could see Paul perhaps turning to the woman who did stay in his daughter's life (the MIL), it rang a jarring note when he so easily moved into the arms of his ex. This is the woman who left him and his daughter behind. This is a mom who didn't want to be a mom to her daughter. She didn't even show up for the funeral. But no matter, because she just gave him a blow job, so sure, you can spend the night. What the hell? <br><br>

After that, I lost interest in either of them as characters. They're not evil, but they aren't likable at this point. Thus, I don't care what happens to them. As far as the MIL, the wisest thing she could do is move on and write them both off. She sounds like she's still plenty attractive for her age so she ought to look around for a man with more substance.<br><br>

Last thought: maybe you meant for Paul and his ex to be characters that are hard to like?

Maybe there is a story before this one ,, i have no fucking idea,, bout alone this story does not make even an ounce of sence,, so your crying at a funeral,, big deal,, who`s funeral,, wife, daughter , no idea who the hell is karen that he has never liked but is fucking,,

sorry the story that could have been super turned to absolute shit

Verno

Hey is there a scoecard so I can figure out who is who ?

3*'s this time. I just don't know.....