All Comments on 'Julie Wants to be a Good Girl Pt. 06'

Thanks for crafting and sharing such a great series!

I liked the story very much, until all the dungeon stuff started. Not my cup of tea, but maybe it's yours. It really changed the tone of the story for me. We start with a pretty girl getting rescued, and then the romance with lots of sex. Then Julie turns into a mistress of evil, and Lou comes out all psychotic. In my opinion, the dungeon went from being a place for friends to celebrate their freaky fetish to being the gates of hell. Mr. Nice Guy began to show as a highly skilled dungeon master (who picked up on Lou's fetish from just one small bit of conversation?).

When you pulled out of the dungeon scene the story became much more fun again. I think you wrote this very well, actually. If I so strongly feel the roilings of evil wafting from the dungeon, then you must have done a darned good job of painting the picture. Okay. So now I know to avoid things that I find revolting, and to let consenting adults do whatever their thing is.

One more thing. This story needed much better editing. Perhaps you can find someone else to help you with it. This would make your work look and flow much better.