All Comments on 'Just Too Happily Married'

This sure went down the gutter.

Well, this one was simply crap. Asswipe judge, brutally stupid wife, bratty children (for fucks sake they read her texts first!), fickle family, and last but certainly not least a moronic husband. You forced the characters append choices to fit your view of the plot and that is my biggest pet peeve as a reader.

Hey, try using some pronouns once in a while...seeing Barb six or seven times in a paragraph is ridiculous.

as far and fast as you can. She destroyed her family, their lives and careers and futures and changed the lives of everyone around her, not for the better. She is self destructive and lives in some fairy tale where she always comes out OK ( at the expense of everyone else). At first I thought this guy's idea to go off starting over was a good statement: What, only Barb gets to have thrills? But then he takes her back. Yuck. What's next? 30 years down the line he's playing a guitar and singing without teeth in a bar to a bunch of 20 something kids while Barb has the drunkest of them lined up out back for 70 year old BJ's for her next thrills? This is a sad story in the end. At the end reminds me of the Blue Angel (gee, I'm so old I've actually seen that movie), only we haven't seen the femme fatal, Barb, make the professor crow yet. 1*

The wife, kids and family were beyond redemption. I can't fathom why you had him take her back. And the Judge, as odd as you wrote him, at least became reasonable towards the end.

Normally I truly enjoy your writing, and I still voted a 4 on it's technical merits. But I really didn't like the ending at all.

That said I look forward to your future stories.

Holy crap, sorry I wasted my time!

This one didn't work. A judge? His personal home? How fast can you spell "Disbarment"? Intriguing premise but not in any way close to reality. Then again that is what fiction writing is for. Right? Speaking only for me, I need at least some semblance of reality to make it enjoyable. Even if it's over the top, more like wishful dreaming. Better luck next time because I really enjoy some of your stories.

the fickle finger beckons. TK U MLJ LV NV

to travel on and leave your world behind. TK U MLJ LV NV

I got to page three and had to stop, what a waste of time, this has to be one of the worst stories I've read on this site, if not the worst, total crap. A story with no redeeming features. I don't normally leave comments. Give up.

She cheats on him, breaks his heart - proves she never loved him, how easily she lied and manipulated him, turned his kids against him and he gets back together with her?

So the motto to this story is: You can be a complete bitch whore but as long as you ruin your kids lives everything will be okay?

It reminds me of my uncle, he married my aunt, who developed bipolar disorder - she ditched him and took the kids, had another husband, went off the deep end - came back to my uncle, went off the deep end and left, came back - he forgave her all this... then one day she didn't come home. They got messages from England. She was there for years, then came home and asked if her, and her new lover could stay with him.

Yeah.

And I would say she was less of a bitch than the woman in this story. Because at least she has mental problems, and isn't just a selfish manipulative whore who doesn't care about ruining her whole family.

I would never advocate for violence. But if my wife and kids ever treated me this way, I'd beat the shit out of all three of them! I get why some people want to reconcile. But if there was ever a bitch who deserved to be burned, it was your Barb character. I like a little realism in my stories. And this ending was definitely not realistic. In real life, Barb gets punched so hard her grandkids would be born with black eyes! 1* only because I can't give it a zero.

Not your best I'm afraid . I really can't point to "the" thing, but it wasn't there.

Still one of your biggest fans . One of the best dozen or so writers in this category !

In fact this story appears to have been written by some kind of man hating bitch!

For that reason alone it deserves a negative five stars.

There is no shortage of man hating bitches on this site, and we certainly don't need another one. Your repeated leavings are really starting to stink the place up.

Your feeble attempt to stir up interest, and even hint that you or some other non-man would continue this bile, is as repulsive as the last five pages of your disgusting offal have been.

Please stop writing and crawl back into your hole as soon as possible.

an outstanding story. I could really feel this guys pain. An instant favorite and I hope you do continue it. Not too interested in the old guys story, but I agree with you about the wife. What she did seemed so cold and ruthless. And yet, I can't help but think that there is more to the story. Certainly, her coming to be with him reveals that. Her words that day in front of the judge were crushing, but I didn't get the sense that is what she intended. I also felt that her and the kids were up to something, not just trying to force him out. It felt like the kids were hoping to get them back together. Although I don't get them ignoring him. I am more interested in their story as well. Maybe I am just reading into things, but I felt like their were more layers to this tale. Please continue. Five stars.

BECAUSE THE CUNT DID NOT PAY!

The guy was only forty years old! I thought he said it was HIS time to be what HE wanted to be. He had time to do whatever he wanted--whether that was traveling the world, going to sea, taking up risky sports, going back to school and starting a different career, or getting married and having another family, if he wanted to replace the bitch and her children. But NO! You couldn't let the guy get a life! No, he goes away with his tail between his legs and becomes....a fucking bartender?! Who lets the cunt back into his life?!

YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!

I don't think this story-writing therapy is doing you any good, carvohi; it is not teaching you how to stand up to all those bitches in your own life.

This is a pile of shit!

OK, the writing is OK, not much wordsmithing here but passable. It is the characterization that really got to me. Did YOU even know what made your characters tick? I don't think so.

You expect us to believe that a guy who had all this done to him, betrayed by his wife, and his fucking kids for Christs sake, and the system, is going to just take it in the ass????

"I wanna be a cowboy except I haven't the balls", Ryan laments. After twenty years he never even knew his wife and she never knew him and he let's her back into his life, into his abode, buys her shit????

I know a lot of men, and myself included, whose only regret is that they hadn't killed the bitches. Like them, it would have gone better for Ryan if he had. (News flash, 50% of the murders go unsolved. And the thing that really gets my goat is that you had - you, the writer, the man who made this up, and is responsible for having the characters do what you want and respond as you dictate - you had his kids turn their back on him! On HIM!? Even his kids and he never knew one another. The picture you paint is of a man who wasted, WASTED, 20 years of his life for a trio of conniving , backstabbing wastes of space and he goes right back into the wallow with the rest of the pigs! We are supposed to suspend our disbelief for this?? Old Ryan needs to be shot and put out of his, and our, misery! This remind me of a Nici story.

Someone needs to rewrite the ending! And who gives a flying fuck why Barb did what she did? If you her creator doesn't know, why would you expect us?

The real tragedy here is not only did the characters not know one another but the author didn't know them either! In creative writing, that is a huge no-no!

2* is the best I can do. I just plain didn't like THIS story and the stars are given soley to reflect that.

C

I've read most of your stories, enjoyed many, disliked some, BUT, this is shit.

First for a supposed smart man how did he NOT click on to what Barbara was doing with Matt, then why did Elaine suddenly turn from being daddy's girl to damm near hating him; you surely got messed up writing this one old boy. Then bugger me, she slinks back to him & he takes her back, does he have a death wish as well. Too silly for words, opps, that's all you've done, apply words to a page. If I could give this a minus I would but in order to count. 1 *

His comment says it all.

Wow! The amount of suckiness attached to this story is immeasurable. Basically,you turned him into an old,beaten down,nut-less wonder....who becomes the same old devoted,doting imbecile she was married to. This DEFINITELY needs FTDS to set this abortion of a story right.-BGunns

Man I have read a lot of your stuff and most of it has something good in it.

I don't hate reconciliation stories. Many stories where the couple gets back together can be good. Even some of your other stuff where the married couple are able to put adultery behind them makes some sense/. But this stories is complete CRAP. Unless the man had brain damage there is no way he would have taken this whore( I don't classify all women who cheat as such. They might have good reasons for it in their minds. This woman showed no redeeming quality.) back....

If this was the family and judge of any reasonable man he should have kicked them all out or just left at the beginning when they started acting like such selfish cunts...

Dude I hope you stop writing until you get back to reality... I am not saying forgiveness is impossible. But one has to deserve it.

If I could this story would get -ve stars( you are much better than this shit).

You made the wife a completely evil cunt, had his kids betray him, and then she shows up and he accepts it? Simply unbelievable. Having him be castigated for his behavior when he learned of her affair was a bit much. If anything, he behaved far more civilly than she deserved.

The part where she moves back in and both she and the kids completely ostracize him is one of the more evil things I've read. She literally wallowed in her ability to fool him, giving him no respect at all, because he loved her (and by that token, trusted her). She's a classic narcissist.

You have a penchant for overly naive male characters and this one is no exception. If you add on to this story, you need to resolve the conflict with his children (who both need their asses kicked) and you need to either show the wife's point of view or at least demonstrate that she is in some way now worthy of being forgiven and redeemed. Based on her confession during their counselling sessions with the Judge, that's going to be a tall order without retcon-ing things a bit.

Ryan, like many men are close to being shot by the time their kids are ready to go to college. After 20 years of compromising on life to serve your family, in the home stretch, you know it is just a bit more and then maybe you can do some stuff that you always wanted to do - then the bitch cheats and takes everything away from you. Even if the bitch doesn't cheat, many of them have been holding the children as hostages, using them to make unreasonable demands of their husbands. Any which way, it spells burn out. In a way she did do him a favor, she gave him an excuse to leave. The only trouble is that a man like Ryan does not just leave and stop caring about his kids, no matter how disloyal they have become. Ryan's son was the biggest shocker, he had a problem with dad throwing mom out? Not too many teenage boys could tolerate a cheating mom-whore. I don't buy that one. Ryan may have bumped into the bitch, he didn't beat her. The daughter, if she really loved her dad, she wouldn't have sided with her mom either. Nobody likes a cheating whore, she cheated on the whole family. She treat them ALL with disrespect and a TOTAL lack of love. Nope, those are the problems with the plot. Not to mention hooking up with her again in the Keys - why? That is NOT moving on. That is not growth.

In order to take them off, he would have had to rip them off and that constitutes assault. Then kicking her out of he marriage house requires judicial consent. In other words, he physically assaulted his wife, stole her property and deprived her of due process. Maryland isn't a no fault state but it sure as fuck is death to spousal abuse, which Ryan achieved.

Now, I know it's fantasy but after going through so much work to entertain us, it was just shoddy to ruin the story. It was great until then but it was like you suddenly said he could walk on water and nobody would notice.

Let's see, since I've been here I've seen quite a variety of them, including women who were devastated by their inability to bear children or the loss of a child; women who were lonely while their men spent countless hours away at work or traveling; women who weren't handling middle age well, and even though their husbands loved them and paid attention to them, did not believe their husband's compliments, because they're SUPPOSED to compliment them, right?

Let's not forget the women who withheld intercourse until marriage, then needed to experience another man (often read as "a big cock") before they got too old to attract one.

And how about the ones who felt that because their husbands were so loving and gave them everything that it would be okay to cuckold them, especially with the old boyfriend or the bad boy from high school or college that they rejected because they weren't marriage material, but they sure would be fun to play around with now, wouldn't they?

Those are just some examples off the top of my head. But has there ever been a woman who has gone after a boy half her age before? Maybe in "Mature", but I don't read those stories. I know that some have been seduced by the boy next door (usually with a voluntary cuckold's encouragement), but this was different; she chased after him at their place of work. In some cases, the author would have given the wife a terrible hormonal imbalance or bipolar disease to explain her behavior, but that didn't occur here.

I know terrible injustices occur during divorce, but would a judge really try to get a husband back together with the woman who pursued a young man only a few years older than their son, without first having her checked out by a psychiatrist?

At the end, there was absolutely no one left for me to like, respect, or root for.

You are normally a good story teller - so what happened here? You paint a man suspicious of his wife's fidelity to the point of arranging an intercept of her text messages. Then - he doesn't check them!!!! You paint two kids angry at their mother then suddenly they are giving him the "cold shoulder". The earlier part of the story is waffle - pointless word fill. Nothing adds up.

You are better than this.

I liked the story. It makes some weird kind of sense, even the parts of the story that seem a poetic license. We can feel his pain and the sense of betrayal and that by itself is a vindication for the story. She remains a mystery as you wrote, but obviously she loves him, why else would she seek him out and be with him again? They are not married any more, so he would be able to take it one day at a time, doing what he wants, not really commiting to her. Feels like real life too. He reverted back to his old self, at least as far as taking care of her is concerned. However he has changed too. This could be explored in a sequel, as well as his kids' behaviour, which remains an even bigger mystery than his wife's.

I don't know if you have known anyone who was shocked to find out their spouse had cheated. If you go to sites for survivors of infidelity and visit the sections where newcomers to the site describe what happened when they found out, you will find that often the men in the stories here are incredibly stoic when it comes to their subsequent behavior. (Who knows; maybe that is just the author wishing he had behaved that way, when it happened to him.)

You will find confessions from self-described good Christian women who were shocked to find themselves emitting strings of epithets when they had never before uttered even one of those words. And you will read other posters relating to them by admitting the damage that they did to the house or their spouse's clothing or car. And yes, some of them even admit to striking their spouse in hate and anger. These were non-violent people who never knew they could be so upset and angry as to behave in these ways. They are shocked and disappointed in themselves.

We never know what we're capable of or how we will react until the time comes. I have discovered that though I had for years considered myself an emotional person, I have had several serious situations or emergencies in my life where I have found I am a cool, clear thinker under such circumstances. But I believe all bets would be off, if I were to experience the emotional devastation of infidelity, which psychologists say is the worst thing you can survive except the loss of a child.

It should have been over and done for good when old Barb raved on about her boy lover and it seemed like it was. People can actually move on to another relationship, you know. It looked like it might happen here and then you had to go and ruin it.

I don't think I'll ever understand the need for some writers to saddle the wronged spouse with the cheater again just when they'd made a clean getaway.

Your initial description of the wife is of a very vain selfish person. His marrying such a shallow selfish person does not make sense. Her wanting young exciting cock, and offering to give up her husband and children is believable. Her wanting to reconcile with her boring dull husband is unbelievable. Her thinking he would give her a pass after reading the emails and hearing how exciting her affair was is unbelievable. The children taking her side over their father is not believable. Hell, they have the texts proving she doesn't love them or their father! His leaving after the children and the mother essentially exclude him from their lives is believable. Her going to find him, and deciding she wanted him instead of young exciting cock is not believable. How did she support herself after she lost her job? Did she sell the house? What happened to his share of the property settlement? She goes from high living vain and selfish to just wanting to live plain and simple, with a low wage itinerant formerly boring and predictable man who she thinks hates her and whom she fears? And neither father nor mother focusing on the damage she wreaked upon her children is totally unbelievable. Only a person without children could tell this story without telling what eventually happened to their kids. They both totally abandoned their responsibility towards their children. And it doesn't even merit inclusion in the wrap up of their story? And he's deceiving her into thinking her crap pottery has value? She's going to fuck him over a second time, and he totally deserves it this time. Unbelievable. So my vote recognizes your effort, but also that your story doesn't make sense. Yeah, its fiction, but it still have to make sense.

The very second everyone turned on him he should have grabbed as much cash as possible, left instructions for the house to be sold and whatever money going to him to be given to his lawyer to be held for him, and vanished forever. The man in this story will be tormented for the rest of his life by a cheating whore of a worthless slug, and a family, who have less than no respect for him. Due to his actions in the story I have less than no respect for him as well. The very best thing that could happen to the character in this story would be for someone to do him and the rest of the world a favour and blow the brains he does not have out, putting a well deserved end to both his worthless existence and the disgust that any self respecting man would have for him.

I can see why some of the readers have problems with the story,sure she betryied him ,lied to him, with a younger man,in a way he got his revenge,she earned less ,lived in a crappy flat ,most probably she never heard her young lover again,they got divorced ,end of story ? First of all marrying at 18-19 years old will allways be a risk,unexperience and later the uneventfullness kicks in ,in all of similar storys the wife will turn 40 ,the kids leave the house and she will look at her marriage in a different way,for many weman out there age 40 is the "drama" age,she isn't sure about her looks,can she still attrackt men in the way she used to ?is she still desirable? does she really love her husband ? 40 for a woman is a dangerous and terrifieng time and when a young guy/boy comes allong she could easely be compelled to try her charms and barb obviuously succeeded,reality would tell us that things like that only very rarely occur and in most cases it stays in the compartment of fantasys because in reality the young guy will get tired of her very soon,she will have regrets and after a while she will realise that she has a good life ,a good husband who loves her and you can be allmost sure things like that will never happen again.All in all the old judge,the children weren't wrong ,all they wanted was for them to remain together no matter what and get passed this

And write another

You don't like cuckolds,and wimpy men well what the fuck is Ryan?

A cuckold and a fucking wimp

1

I think the negative comments stem from a feeling that this story is incomplete. I would agree that as it stands, there are many inexplicable aspects. Why did the kids turn on him? Did they actually turn, or were they up to something? It seems they were trying to force a reconciliation, which most kids would naturally want, but why were they so distant once the mom returned to the house? The reconciliation is also inexplicable. If the judge's insights were right, why does she go seek her husband out at the end? Again, I don't see these as deficiencies in the story, but simply that it needs to be continued. I don't think it is optional. Left as is, it should rightly be criticized. Once it continues, I believe readers will begin to see the value in this story. I see glimpses of it.

When all of a sudden everyone turned against him, especially his son and daughter, the story really took a bad turn. And the explanation for why didn't really make sense. Then when he was forced to cohabitate and he became the outcast things got worse. I had some hope when the judge seemed to become a good guy to really let him know what kind of a wife he had. But the complete turn around of basically taking his wife back and becoming the old husband again really ruined it for me. What a terrible way to start my day. I wish I hadn't picked this story by an author that I normally like.

Started off as a clueless husband, then macho btb to finally spineless cuck. I think i read three stories in one with characters changing dynamically at an instant. Sorry but not as good as your usual work.

Leonji

Loved the story and I hope and look forward to any and all follow ups. Anything you write will be appreciated.

I gave you a 5 . Thank you for pissing off annony too!!!

the children's reaction to the woman's intentional cheating was in character for her betrayal of the family. Their sudden and unexpected betrayal of the father and turning against him is never explained. His slow to response to the situation, and refusal to leave the home isn't explained, nor is why he stayed in the home (as the innocent in this story) and lived with the excommunication forced on him by his adulterous wife and very immature children. He disappeared to Key West but didn't go off the net so to speak, how did she find him, he said she didn't use a PI? Where were the children when mom ran off to play hippy? She had basically destroyed him in her story in the counseling, basically telling he was worthless and she didn't love him nor respect him. Then in Key West he allows her to basically take over his life and control him forcing him to accept her without even the trace of a refusal. Makes absolutely no sense and defies any and all logic. A better ending would be to get her seriously drunk, tie her up with weighs and dump her body into the ocean alive and allow the animals there to eliminate her remains. No where in this story did the husband get revenge, if anything the wife totally got her wishes and got revenge on him for not accepting her adultery. Again dead wives tell no lies, and death becomes her.

The wife only regretted having misread her husband's reaction to being a slut. She thought he'd live with it and I'll do it again. She turned the kids against him too. He deserves better and should be allowed to find it.

Next chapter will most likely the wife's story of regret and self discovery realizing she screwed up huge. We'll of course feel pity for her.

Redeem the story, do another chapter n make him whole again.

More to this story.... Why did she go after him in the first place. I understand the older woman concept. Was he lonely, what happened to the kids, house, what did she get out of the divorce? Sequel please. 4 * till the sequel.

I liked it up until the end. I thought the Key West part was way to rushed and didn't match the pacing of the rest of the story. I was also kinda weirded out by how the Judge got involved and blatantly picked sides. And finally there was no resolution with the kids. They all turned on their dad and eventually their mom ups and leaves too?

The story really makes no sense,the judge's actions make no sense given the circumstances,the wife seems like an empty shell,a cipher,and the kids go from being mad at the mother to hating him.....and then when the wife unloads on him,she basically tells him he was a dependable,boring meal ticket,not much of a man, yet is all broken up,then tracks him down?Why? Did she discover that young men saw her as an old slut to bang? Just didn't make sense,or why he took her back...

This is really strong in conveying the feelings of the husband. Indeed, the whole story is constructed around his pain. Every other character is there to pile agony upon him, particularly the wife with her absurd rant about how her lover made her feel. And this is the story's weakness. It needs all the characters to be plausible, not one character and a gaggle of accessories designed to underline his suffering.

About a whore and a pathetic wimp. Not up to your regular standard - a 1

So you admit that your wife character makes no sense and that the judge's actions don't fit at all? Then you pose those as mysteries or sequel hooks rather than simply add plot holes or you being a shitty writer. That is some balls there.

Waste of time, you just keep putting out crap.

this story pisses me off worse than a cuck story. let me get this straight. his kids are mad at his wife for cheating, then after he tosses her ass out they forgive her and hate him. wtf did he do. they seen were she said were she would leave her husband and kids for her lover in her e-mails.and they still side with her, bullshit. these arent 5 year olds. they were late teens.they would blame her for all of it.most stories i can find at least something that i like. not this one.at least if he wanted to go to south florida to start over have him fuck some college coeds on spring break or something. the only way he shouldve took her back is if he took her out on a boat and used her for shark bait. maybe that could be the next chapter.

for your effort and for really pissing off annony the main asshole on here

...what happened? This one makes no sense. A "Judge" behaving like this, almost blackmailing him and clearly taking sides with his wife, the children, upset at first, suddenly turned around 180 Degrees, Barb not beeing upset but smiling away...

This story is bullshit. Private talks without lawyers at the judge´s home...Any decent lawyer would have the judge´s balls for that. Actually...I am disappointed..

Loved your story and thought it was fantastic. Thanks for writing this gem and sharing it with us.

that wizard bonnie taylor like it and if that pig gave it a 5 then it had to be a sicko story so i went back and read it all and found it to be a piece of garbage hard to believe someone is that big of a loser that they would pass this off as a story.

Turned into a piece of crap! Husband turned into a loser.Carvohi, are you capable of writing a story where the husband ends up having some balls? I think not.

I like that you don't even beg us, the readers, our pardon.......

The thing is that when you write a RAAC, the case for RAAC must be made. To do this, we have to know that she (or at least the cheater; HE if the story demands it) has learned a lesson, and won't do this again. OK, to do THAT, we have to get inside the mind of the cheater, we have to see how this happened. Interestingly enough, I think THAT is why people come here to read these stories. What goes on in the mind of a cheater? What makes them tick? Why would someone put up with it? Why TAKE THEM BACK? How does one survive after the ultimate betrayal?

So in short, we WANT to read a story about the cheating wife.

What you (and MANY MANY MANY people before you), have given us, is instead:

The story of the cheated-on husband.

It is HIS story, not hers. And of course, THAT is why it is so unsatisfying. But to make it worse, his actions are only at the periphery of 'understandable'. And whether we want to swallow the RAAC or not, ZERO case has been made to show that it was a good idea. I think MOST (I assume here, but I feel pretty confident as one who reads many comments), MOST readers here would LOVE the RAAC, even cheer for it, IF..........IF I say IFF.......

You gave us charactrerizations that showed us the WHY, HOW, and WHEN of it. It isn't always about penace to be done. alone, it more becomes about the transformation. To oversimplify, she starts off good, becomes bad, then struggles to become good again. It reads much easier than it writes, I get it. It is hard work to delve that deeply into a character's psyche. But it MUST be done in order to get the results you are looking for. Which is to say, the results WE are looking for.

When you decide to make it a story that is about HIM alone, and HIS journey. That is fine, but it STILL must contain his best thoughts about the people around him who so drastically influenced his behavior, even if he only had the chance to REACT to it. Otherwise, HE as a character, is just as shallow, and unthoughful, and provides little more to the overall experience, than by being a pawn. At the end of the marital chess game, we see his moves, and how he evaded capture, but were never given full view of the total board? Watching a chess game might be pretty boring anyway, but why limit the view to any part of the action for your intended audience?

So anyway, once we accept that it is HIS story, and not hers, then we say "Well OK, HOW does he survive this?" Problem is your solution is pretty unsatisfying.

Steps to dealing with a cheating spouse:

1) Ignore ALL of the clues

2) Avoid any conflict

3) In the face of irrefutable proof, throw a temper trantrum, and weaken your position legally

4) Slowly accept the indignities, and injustice heaped upon you. This is important, because it helps to build the rage you will need to 'one day' take action.

5) Isolate yourself from your support systems, (i.e. close family; your CHILDREN)

6) Have a mid-life crisis

7) run away from your previous life and responsibilities

8) use alcohol to numb your pain

9) decide that your ex-wife isn't as bad, as say, a trans-gender person

10) get to the point where you have let go of the pain and anger by finally accepting that you JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE

11) Take the bitch back???? (Yes, use unspoken guilt, and useless gestures of familiarity to keep her in line)

12) Never remarry, and never return to your 'Old" life

Well, Carvohi, even if you had expounded a little more on a few of these 'steps', your story would have been more complete. But as it was, the lesson you have him learning:

JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE

It just will never be a satisfying resolution for a person experiencing the kind of betrayal that you had him go through. Even if we can empathize with his mid-life crisis, the search should be on for a better life than he left behind. Even if you want us to believe that 'simpler' is better, then WHY have him go backwards by allowing her back in to it?

As usual, there are just too many questions left unanswered. But NO, a sequal, or prequal, or even a POV swap, WON'T do this story any favors. Why? Because in the end, the solution chosen for this guy to move-on, will remain the same, even if you have the daughter struggling to understand it and tell her side of the story.

At the end of the day, she would figure out the truth. He just stopped caring.

But if THAT is some great secret source of strength, you will continue to have MOST (here I assume again, sorry) of the readers JUST as dissatisfied as before.

Afterall, when you betray me so badly, expecting me not to care, that is what will forever seem unrealistic.

Thanks anyway for your efforts. I advise you to work on your female characters. Do some interviews, ask questions, figure out how to tell HER story. Not the bitch chick from THIS story, but SOME female who has a unique story to tell. I think it will really help your writing, and remind your readers of your varied strengths in providing something unpredictable.

Good Luck! As always, can't wait for the next.......

I liked the story up to the point where she met up with him if Key West. It should have gone a different way after that. She was a cold hearted bitch who turned his own kids against him when she fucked up the family! He should have told her to Piss Off. And then move again.

Good Story.

He is the loyal spouse ,takes his daughter to get her car. Wife chases a younger man for wild sex. AND THE FAMILY ALL BACK HER. ?????

Take one spineless man, add a cheating wife, sprinkle with demonic children, fold in a helping of Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckold and server on a bed of Pussy Whipped! The writing was not bad a couple abandoned thoughts before completion but still good writing (just lousy plot)

Good writing, but the story line sucked.

Don't understand the issue with the kids. Didn't make much sense. Then they were totally ignored.

Wife came back and his emotions were blah?

Loved the "style" of the writing. Feels like something we're left out and others hurried.

btw - the Revenge tag. Huh? Who's revenge? More like a total lack of.

Everyone backed her knowing what she did, that don't make sense. The kids read it all about her leaving hubby and the kids just because she loved how he fucked her. Of corse when cheating is involved the fucking is very exciting. The guy is fucking a married hot older coworker so he is young and feels dominant in the fact that he can fuck her anyway he wants because she's telling him how great and better than her hubby is. She is getting attention from a kid who want to fuck the shit out of her anyway he can . If her hubby was an inattentive loser you can try to justify it but he seemed to be a great father and husband who didn't deserve what she did to the family. Laws should change with situations like this because no person should have to deal with it if they don't want to even if some judge or consouler says so. Lastly after what she admitted to him he really would never be able to deal with her anymore. If it was him fucking a young girl how would she and the kids feel. The man has no real rights I really can't understand why. Wrong is wrong man or woman if your not happy with something in your marriage talk about it and if changes can't be made than divorce because cheating destroys people. It's a story with a real life tone and I wish the message in it didn't favor the concept of a lying cheating sneaky married pig, cheating should not be glorified by a man or woman

So, one star for the heads up.

Idiot characters, badly developed story line, occasionally punctuated dialog that made following a little tough: any of these would ruined it for me, and I got a bonus of all three.

Wish I had that time back.

this was fucking stupid. The daughter magically siding with the mom after all the crap? the shit the judge puleld can't be legal, and even if it was you could kill his reputation by going public with what he was forcing a man whose wife cheated on him to do, punishing him as if he'd been the one to do wrong. UGh this story was the biggest waste of time I've ever had on this site, and that's saying something.

no vote

What's with the kids?

Can understand them wanting contact with their mother; but to give the father the silent treatment seemed ... Inconsistent.

You know what this story did for me? All I can think of after reading that is FUCK everybody! Fuck the wife, fuck the kids, fuck the judge, fuck the author and anybody who was ok with how all of this went down. Talk about a fucking disappointing story.....Geez!!!

I regard myself as second to none in my admiration for Carvohi's work. He has written some of my favorite stories available on this site. It pains me therefore to say that I find this effort unsatisfactory on several levels. There are no characters in this tale that reach me. The husband, Ryan, is so utterly clueless in the face of unmistakable evidence of Barbara's infidelity that he loses the reader's sympathy. His belief that a newly hired flunky could sexually harass an experienced supervisor is completely nonsensical. We never really understand Barbara either for her willingness to sacrifice her family for an affair or for that concluding reconciliation episode that seems tacked on. Ryan's relationship with his children also rings false. Why would they side with their mother in the face of irrefutable evidence of her betrayal-particularly the daughter who suddenly abandons a loving relationship with her father? Why would a supposedly devoted father walk away from his children when he knows that his actions have at least contributed to their ongoing emotional problems? In other stories Carvohi has skillfully crafted devoted fathers who dealt with marital problems without damaging their children. That is clearly not the case here.Ultimately this story has a quality that in the law is known as under inclusive and over inclusive. It tells too much about irrelevant matters and not enough about the core issues. I suggest that the author consider a sequel, perhaps from Barbara's point of view to remedy those concerns.

Ok first they are devastated by their mother then all of a sudden they take her side and shone him? First off I would have taken both of their cars away n sold em, then tell em to fuck off and die. Pack your shit and leave, ungrateful bastards

The story has a few unbelivables but I appreciate your tendency for reconciliations in your stories.

For a smart guy he was incredibly stupid. For instance, why did he wait, seemingly forever, to look at her e-mails? He was like an ostrich with his head buried in the sand. His behavior was just irritating. I wanted to yell at him to look at the e-mails and look at the GPS locator. Failing that, maybe someone needed to slap him to get him going. His unwillingness to think that his wife was stepping out on him was maddening. I immediately began to dislike his character.

His children's immediate flipflop as pertaining to their Mother was, I don't know, strange? And unexplained. You never clarify why the kids at first won't even go home when Mom is there and all of a sudden they're both firmly in their Mother's camp. The kids switching sides seemed unexplainable and added them to the list of unlikeable people in this story.

It was easy to dislike Barb - she was the cheater and the catalyst of the story.

I can't speak with any knowledge of the Court system in Maryland. You wrote what you wrote and it's a part of the story so all I can say is that it would be highly irregular for a Judge to involve himself outside a Courtroom. I won't start to throw around legal terms but Ryan's lawyer would have had a field day had any Judge behaved in the manner this one did. Ryan would have been divorced and walking with a really good split of the assets. That was another thing that bothered me. You went into a lot of detail about events and then he just walks away with practically nothing? A small cash deposit (not sure WHAT that is) and he took his retirement funds? What about the house? What about the kids education if, in fact, they even qualified for college given their supposedly failing grades. You threw those things and others into the abyss and left them there. That was unsatisfying to say the least. Given the fact that this story ran to 5 pages (which I have no problem with) it seems like you could have added some more detail into what happened with the remaining marital assets and the kids.

Another point in your legal struggles. She moved in with lover boy after Ryan threw her out. Why didn't his lawyer immediately file using adultery as the cause? Seems like it would have been a slam dunk and he would have avoided all the garbage with the Judge.

So now that I've re-written your story I'll get to the REAL reason I hated this story. You let a woman that had demeaned, degraded and humiliated him back into his life. A woman that practically admitted to him that she didn't really love him but that she found him to be reliable and dependable. Not exactly ringing endorsements from a wife to a husband. And since he admits he wants something different, why would he even give her the time of day when she shows up? That made absolutely no sense. He would have told her to leave immediately. THAT was the character you gave him. So to once more have a character in this story do a 180 degree turn was just the straw that broke the camels back.

You can write good stories and I've enjoyed some of them in the past. This story just had too many anomalies in it to make for a good read. Sorry. Maybe next time.

This is a good story, but could be a better one...1st - The husband...with all his trust and love, he was blind to his wife weaknesses, her selfishness, and finally her cheating...A man that puts so much in a marriage, when is destroyed as he was, never, but never would allow thw wife to come back, because the trust and love were destroyed by an atomic bomb...2nd - The children read the mother's emails and were destroyed as their father...No judge would made them forgive the mother, less made them took the mother's side...3rd - His sisters took her side? Were they also cheating their husbands? If my wife took the side of a cheater I would question if she wasn't a cheater too!!! 4th - The judge is the best character the story has...when he understood what she was and what she has done, he knew the husband was the victim...3* just for the good writing as always...

It seems that a recurring theme of discontent here is the reaction of the kids. Cavohi, I think that you need to make note of this so you don't do it in future. Unlike others, I really don't see how a sequel from the wife's view point could possibly salvage this. It was not very well thought out to begin with. Sorry, but that is the truth. And then you need another from the kids viewpoint and on and on and it doesn't serve anything. Putting a band-aid over a band-aid doesn't heal anything, It just makes a pile of band-aids.

This is one of those story where the author takes his licking and says "Well, I won't do that again!" and just let the story die, IMHO

Regards

C

P.S. Being human, I was rather harsh in my comments partly becasue I know that cavohi can do much better. I apologize,

Especially the kids attitudes. More specifically the daughters turnaround. Yet the story got me emotionally and the writing, with few errors is consistently good. 5*

Probably closer to real life than most stories. Keep it up.

Not every story should end the same. This author has a different ending. What happened with the kids?

Nice effort. Kept thinking about the kids, at a time when they needed encouragement and support heading out to college their world implodes. Babara was terribly selfish

and self-centered. She just comfortable with being catered to and treated well and took it for granted. Her major error was not understanding the pride of her husband and she committed a mortal sin, that was that. Everyone expected him to just suck it up, compromise and power through it. he did the unexpected he left mentally then physically. Thanks for the work.

I've enjoyed this author's stories before. This one wasn't very good. The unreasonable reactions of the kids. The almost complete lack of any explanation of the wife at all. The judge obviously picking sides and becoming a counselor. The protagonist is inept at every step. Just a miserable story that should be left to die.

I usually enjoy your work, but this was just distasteful and aggravating. I left this story being so angry and unsettled, that I wish I never read it. It just seemed like a string of terrible events that just kept happening. First his perfect wife cheats, the kids are on his side until he "snaps". God forbid the poor guy reacts to the worst thing that ever happened to him. Then his kids and everyone else around him takes her side. He just decides to pick up and leave, and she finds him and they pretend that nothing happened? What the fuck happened? How did they resolve it? I just don't get it. There are very few stories that are this well written that leave me feeling so frustrated afterwards. To be honest, it just doesn't make sense. In fact it makes so little sense that even you have questions about you're own work.

Like I said, I usually like your work, but there was no basis for reconciliation. She doesn't even love him....I just don't get it. I feel like there is a message that I'm supposed to be getting that I'm not.

Had a few twists (throwing the wife out- literally) but, for the most part, it was pretty predictable.

Grabbing the ring, going to key west, a judge who takes a personal interest, etc.

It sounds like his mid life crisis was exacerbated by his cheating. More introspection would have helped the story.

An unpleasant read.

Thanks

A good, sort of realistic story (thankfully I've never gone through) and some strange turns but a bit missing piece is the children. They seem to initially react as shocked teens as one might expect but when mom "returned" they abandoned the father, even the daughter did, and other than having school problems, disappeared from the family circus.

Tiny Tim

But overall a good story. Can imagine this actually happening. 5 stars from me.

the man is guilty of everything.

not a good man, not a good lover , not a good father. he is the one who started it all. all men are pigs.

but you were really kind to that lowest of all life-forms. nobody killed him or neutered him , eventhough I guess he wished he had done it 25 years ago.

and now tell us all why you wrote that story please. what was erotic here. the dumb cow of a wife, the loving feelings his kids had for him after her mom fucked up or the judge who wanted to bread down the character of a man ??

I tell you something , your on the wrong side here, it's not called garbage.com it's called literotica.

I have to say, you're one of my favourite authors. Not this time, though. While I didn't care for the plot, that could be argued away - it was indeed closer to real life. There was just too much that made you go "Huh?" The kids made no sense, the judge made no sense, getting back together in Key West made no sense - and worse, there seemed to be no attempt to even explain these weird, unexplained plot turns.

Do yourself a favor - either re-write this from scratch, or bury it.

I enjoyed the read. I mean, what the hell is there not to enjoy? The telling of the story is easy, relaxed; a lot like two pals talking. Characters well fleshed. Thankfully no caricatures such as the 40DD, perky boobs or pencil dick's 12" dick.

Five stars, for sure.

"I love you Matt. You make me feel young again. When can we meet again? I can get away this Sunday. I want you so much. You're my heart. You have my heart. Let's both take Monday off? I need you inside me. I don't care. I'll do whatever you want. I'll leave my husband. I'll leave my kids. I can't live without you."

So why is she upset at her husband throwing her out? She’s getting what she wanted!

"Your wife's income rivaled yours until her 'position shift'. And yes we know why she lost her supervisory job. The why doesn't matter, but she makes much less now.”

I’m no expert on the law, but it seems to me that the “why” DOES matter! SHE is the cause for her loss of income, HE shouldn’t suffer because of it!

What if he quits HIS job? Will that reduce HIS financial responsibilities? I doubt it!

So his wife lies and cheats, and HE pays the price!

Why would the KIDS vacate the kitchen? Have they sided that much with their mother that they can’t share space with their father? And THEY were the ones that ran away when they discovered the cheating! They should have been on HIS side!

"Oh I love you Ryan, but you'd become so uninteresting so boring."

And I suppose SHE’S still so exciting! What would she do if HE took a younger lover! Would SHE and the Judge accept her excuses from HIM? Not very likely, never mind a rat-trap, he’d be living in a carton under a bridge!

So when MATT is “dangerous” it’s “exciting”, but when HE’S “dangerous” it’s “terrifying”! He can’t win!

"I'm sorry I let you go so far Barb. Ryan I'm sorry she said these things."

Why, because it’s the truth?

"But I do love him. I love everything about him."

Obviously she didn’t – she didn’t love his predictability, his dependability, his normality.

“When we got inside the house I went to pick her up to throw her on the bed like she said that 'boy' had done. She burst into tears and started crying no, no. I want you, not that!”

Once again, it’s all about what SHE wants! He should kick her the hell out.

A lot of interesting work here. What bothers me most is that in this muddle they managed to destroy the lives of two reasonably promising children. If there is another short sketch to add on it would be a story of what happened to Elaine.

Sorry but I have seen too many judges getting away with arbitrary actions to disbelieve that part of the story! Did you notice that in her rant Elaine demonstrated the mentality of a teenage problem?

This is a pointless story. Its only intention is to rile up the reader. Zero stars for wasting my time.

started out very well. when the judge came into came to play everything shifted with no explanation why did the kids all of a sudden change why did they all of a sudden alienate him. she found him the kids were never mentioned again. Justvfeel like an incomplete story

I'm confused... Seems everything is ok again and clemency was won simply by avoiding responsibilities and living carefree? Does that really address the issues of betrayal? Of her new fear of him? wow... don't get it.

I understand his needing to break free... I get that. I don't get how breaking free allows him to be comfortable in her presence... with her moving in with him.

Too bad if you didn't like this story. I did and I gave it 5 stars. It was a little different and well told.

In my view, the only thing missing was background on why his daughter abandoned him.

Bill1104

then turn on hubby ,so fast.i'm missing something.

A long boring story with no sex, just what everyone comes to this site for.

The story became boring more and more. Just too boring instead of just too happily married.

No wonder your wife was straying...

If you are anywhere near as dull and uninteresting as your writing this story suggests, you deserve to get cheated on and dumped just as much as your character did. I hope your wife's lover likes leaving you his cum to lick out of her after he's done with her.

for me. Just kinda meandered along, esp the beginning, he was really clueless until the end, despite what his inner voice and the evidence was telling him. Why reconcile at all, he could get laid by a different broad every night in Key West? Especially after what she did, the way she did it, planning and forethought, cuckolding him and denying him his share, really evil and to have the kids take sides like that is most unrealistic!

Not your best effort. But you write, and for that I thank you as sometime down the road will be a good one.

but then the story just fizzled. Like a wet firecracker.

And he just walked away from his kids too? Pretty sad.

On the first page he says that the way she acts toward him has never changed, could it be because she has been cheating on him from day one and with practice has become expert in it?

you fuck the husband over time and time again. He breaks camp and some how ends up the whore who thinks he sucks? This was a Matt Monroe copy cat, but with out cuckold dick sucking. .05 stars

The biggest thing that amazes me is how the daughter turned on her dad. He bought her a car, she got pissed off after she read the texts. Then she and the son refused to come home until he got there. All of a sudden mom made things right with them and they did not even give dad the time of day. WTF?

ever get caught up in the moment convinced of one thing only to step back and see things from a completely different perspective? If you have ever been high or drunk, you would understand. I believe that is what people mean by clarity. I am not excusing the wife's behavior, because I would have moved out the second the judge ordered her to move back in. I'm defending the author. There is more to this story than meets the eye. She tracks him down? Yeah, that deserves a sequel. Don't penalize the author for failing to be formulaic and predictable. This is like Paul Harvey. I want the rest of the story.

I found this to be an entertaining albiet implausible read. I don't have as big a problem with the ending as most do - He is doing what he wants to do instead of what he is supposed to do, and he is getting laid by somebody he likes to screw. Four stars from me.

This writer usually writes pretty good stories, but this one had too many contradictions to be believable. It seemed like two different people wrote this story. Carvohi, starts the story, while Bonnietaylor, finishes it. The last half of this story just plain sucked. Makes you hate everyone in this story!

I was married forty years and became a widower. I married my second wife over twenty years ago. We NEVER fight and very seldom disagree and we are still in love with one another. The story dragged on too much in the beginning. The main character was an ass. He should have taken off when the judge moved the slut back in with him. Piss on the kids. They didn't care anyway. Cheers! c29