Keep This Secret Pt. 19

It took some time for me to figure it out, but I think two things changed me. The first thing was that I was getting so much love from so many people. Mary loved me deeply. Victoria loved me in a way that was not the same, but just as powerful. There was my Mariana, who loved me in a way that was all her own. Zippy had become a devoted girlfriend, and I had a platonic friendship with Mindy, who was so grateful I'd removed them both from bad situations. There was Alana, who saw me when she wasn't training or on the road competing in bodybuilding events. I had a lot of close platonic relationships with many women who shared their lives with me so I could figure out ways to help them. Helping someone with something important is a deeply intimate thing. Sometimes, it's more intimate than sex.

I was marinating in intimacy. It takes time for the marinating process to have an effect, and I was finally feeling it. In most ways, it was completely wonderful to get so much support from so many people. I was happier than I'd thought possible before this all began.

But there was one thing that was increasingly bothersome.

When I decided I couldn't reveal the secret of the sonic stimulator, I'd decided that the best I could do would be to use it to help as many individual people as possible. Yes, I'd always expected that I'd use it to become rich, and to have sex with lots of alluring women, but my primary goal was altruistic and sincere.

It just wasn't enough. The Gaia Foundation had grown to a large size, and Victoria was guiding it toward continued dramatic growth. It was no longer possible for me to know every client personally, but Victoria created a process that allowed the staff to do a pretty good job figuring out ways to improve each client's life. The money was growing explosively, so the foundation would be able to continue its work even if something happened to me. Sounds great, right? I had achieved my goal, right?

Yes, I had. There was a lot more I could do, but it would never be enough.

It wouldn't be long before the Gaia Foundation was serving tens of thousands of women. It had advantages over other organizations; we were having conspicuous success with our series of videos that taught life skills while letting the signal from a sonic stimulator play undetected in the background.

Like most scientists, I know that most people lack what we call "quantitative skills." That means most people lack the mathematical aptitude needed to really understand the world around them. Back in the Dust Bowl era, some nitwit suggested that the dust storms could be eliminated simply by paving that whole region of the country. He was serious. Think about that. Imagine the enormity of paving all of west Texas, then paving all of Oklahoma, and still having more to do. That was a guy with no quantitative skills.

And here's where we're going. I was helping thousands of women who lived in a fairly small part of southern California. There are 7.75 billion people in the world, with more added every day. Most of those people were desperately poor, struggling with violence, malnutrition, poor access to clean water, medical care, and education.

I had a lot of other thoughts along these lines, but I think I've done enough to spoil the mood. This chapter started out so nice, didn't it? I'll bet you never imagined that a pleasant little tale like the story of Fred and Esta would turn into something that makes you want to slit your wrists.

I realized that I am the most privileged man in the world. There were plenty of people with more material wealth, but I had more money than I could ever spend, and more love than any other person could get. I felt like I was standing at the pinnacle of some giant pyramid, with 7.75 billion struggling people below me.

I didn't know what to do with those feelings.

Yet.

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The most privileged man in the world. Great, right? Ask yourself that question as the story unfolds. If you like this story, please take time to vote five stars. I've been gratified that so many of you voted that way for my story Enslaved - Love In The Future. It would please me if you checked it out; it's the best thing I've written in years. Enslaved has plenty of explicit sex, but a lot of the text is devoted to character and plot development. My feeling is that erotica is hotter when it involves sex between characters we care about.

The next chapter of Keep This Secret tells us what happens when David gets a very unusual request from Zippy.