by whosepetkitten
Ok, this was a good story, untill you completly killed it at the end. You should have made it so it was a test of her master, or that she ends up slowly falling for the new man.
Your story is really touching and not really about sex, but if thats the case then may I suggest that you change his goal from desiring a trained slave into a wife of his own?
That way, the passion of your story will really bloom