Korina's Observations

To make this part of the story shorter, I ended up doing this with several friends. At least eight or nine others. And aside from being a little bit bigger than one of them and about the same size as two of them, all of the rest were obviously bigger than me. When seven out of ten of your friends are bigger than you, you begin to assume you're just small.

Once I got to high school and started showering after P.E. before I went to other classes and or showering after games, this observation seemed only to become more pronounced. If I showered with a hundred guys during high school, I bet eighty of them were obviously bigger than me.

I know you can't always tell when they're soft which ones will be bigger, but if it's hanging down four or five inches, and sometimes more, then they're already almost as big as the biggest I get when I am fully hard.

I would say that those realizations actually prevented me from dating all throughout my freshman year and the first semester of my sophomore year. When we got back from Christmas break of my sophomore year, a freshman cheerleader, blonde and cute, asked me out. We went to some movies, several school dances and other functions and then one day she invited me over to watch a movie at her parents' house while her parents weren't there. We started making out and she reached down and started rubbing me outside my shorts. I had no real negative or embarrassed thoughts in the moment because I didn't think she had ever done anything with another guy before. She seemed too sweet and innocent. She got down on her knees in front of where I was sitting on the couch and slid my shorts off. She grabbed my boner and gave it the once over and the first comment she made was 'Thank goodness. Damon's was waaaaay too big. I couldn't fit his in my mouth.'" Damon was an eighth grader, so it was particularly embarrassing for me to think that I wasn't even close to as big as a middle schooler even though I had started to develop physically in terms of the rest of my body. It didn't matter in my head that she sounded relieved and genuinely meant her comment in a good way. I was smaller. And she told me so directly.

The last situation was kind of your typical high school drinking and skinny dipping adventure. It was just me and one other guy and four girls. I wasn't dating any of the girls at the time, but there was one I wanted to date. It was her suggestion for all of us to go skinny dipping in the river late one night while we were drinking at her house. I had reservations but she was the first one to shed her clothes. She was standing right beside me and just threw caution to the wind as she disrobed as fast as she could. She gave me that eyebrow-raised look to hurry me along. So, I got naked sort of as I walked into the river and threw my boxers onto the shore and hustled in with my hand covering my junk.Neither she nor any of the other girls had any reservations whatsoever and gleefully splashed around without ever attempting to cover themselves. The water wasn't cold and it was very hot out, so there was no shrinkage issues. In fact, with four sets of perky boobs and hard nipples, I was almost hard under the water. In retrospect I guess I was lucky that I was a little bigger than I normally am when I am flaccid. When we all decided to get out the girls were closer to the shore and I was right behind them. Brent, the other guy, was all the way across the river. When I got out all four girls were already grabbing their clothes and they all watched me walk out. I came out like I went in, covering myself with my hand. But my hair was in my eyes and I still had to pick up my clothes and put them back on, so I knew I was going to be seen. I went ahead and went for it as I got out and used my hands to brush my hair backwards. Nobody giggled or said anything, so I figured I was out of the woods. Then Brent came out of the water with no concern about covering himself. I snuck a quick peek just to see how I measured up and immediately turned my attention back to the girls to see their reaction. He too was semi-erect. And he was huge. I mean, ridiculously huge. The look on the girls' faces said it all. They were in awe. Before any of us were able to start putting our clothes back on one of the girls suggested that we all take a nude walk back across the road and past a few of the houses in the neighborhood. It was probably a mile or so back to the house we were staying at.As everybody else went along with the suggestion and started going down the road, I hung back and tried to sneak my boxers back on quickly. The girl I was interested in dating turned back around and caught me and said, 'Come on Kev. There's nothing to be ashamed about,' with a grin.

I knew what she meant. But anyways. She ended up dating Brent a few weeks later and I always assumed it was because of what she saw that night. I even had a chance to hook up with her about a year later and decided against it because I assumed that she would not be as impressed with me.

If you have a significant other, have you discussed her past relationships specifically in regards to past lover's penis sizes? What are your feelings about those revelations? Elaborate as much as you're willing.

Haha, yeah. I'd say we've discussed it. Like I said, I've seen two of them.

They were much larger than me. But she was upfront with me about that fact before I ever saw for myself. And we've talked about her other experiences and those sizes as well.

Again, as a younger man any discussion with my partners about other guys that were more well endowed than I were more embarrassing than the conversations I have had with my wife as I have gotten older. With age there was actually a greater appreciation that my wife had been with other men regardless of their size because it meant that she learned how to do different things sexually. We all learn through experimentation. It didn't bother me that she'd been with more men than I had women. It even became arousing.

Do you have any fetishes that relate to the size of your penis?

I guess I answered that one at the end of the last question, didn't I?

It depends on what someone is interested in here, because I imagine these to be different types of fetishes, but I suppose some people may view them as one broad category. But in different contexts I am aroused by something called small penis humiliation, small penis encouragement and or small penis worship. I suppose my wife would say that I would be aroused by average penis humiliation, average penis encouragement and average penis worship, but the general point would be that it has to do with me not being big.

Specifically, I found her honesty to be the most arousing thing. Actually hearing her admit that she had been with much larger penises than mine was easily the most arousing aspect of my fetish(es). I eventually saw them as I stated before, and that was probably the point at which I became interested in playing out scenarios that were focused on my unexpected arousal at certain truths about my own penis and how it compares to other men.

I don't want to share her. I don't want her to go off and be with other men, especially if it is just because they are larger than me. I love her and want her for myself. But knowing and being able to imagine and in fact see her past experiences is still a very sexually exciting phenomenon that I use in my own head and that we play with in our personal life. She does a variety of things and makes any number of comments that cater to my fetishes.

I would also add that part of the enjoyment comes from the fact that she doesn't make me feel bad about it. She has embraced it as something to help amplify the sexual experience for me, no different than me doing certain things to make her experiences more pleasurable. The ability to openly admit and discuss these things in detail makes it not only easy, but fun, to accept the fact that I am on the small side.

I don't think this would work, this relationship I mean, if she didn't truly like my size. It is only because I trust that she genuinely loves my penis that I am comfortable talking about and playing out fantasies that are ultimately about what I have always felt was a lack of pleasure inducing equipment. I can tell she enjoys it. But I can tell you for certain that most men believe that the amount of pleasure they can give a woman directly correlates to their physical endowment. But she screams for me, moans for me, trembles for me, clinches and scratches at my body when she experiences greater pleasure sensations. If I couldn't tell that she was enjoying it or if I thought she was faking it, I wouldn't be able to embrace and enjoy the fetishes I do. I would just be insecure and carry around a noticeable lack of self-esteem.

I couldn't help myself. I read his responses as soon as he finished them.

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Really?" Kevin asked, seemingly a bit annoyed that I would chuckle at his plights when I urged him to open up to me about these things.

"Babe. I'm not laughing at your responses. I'm sorry. Look at your cock!" I exclaimed. "You got hard just thinking about me reading them!"

"Oh," he chuckled. "I have never been mad at you! I was honestly about to be upset at you!" he stated.

"Seeing as how I am the one who tried to convince you to help me with my thesis, it would have been quite hypocritical of me to have poked fun or made light of your thoughts," I assured him. "It was just poor timing and I apologize."

"No worries," he chuckled again. "So what did you think about the other responses? You said there was another guy that was into the same things I am?"

"They were informative. I was definitely interested in the responses from the guy who had similar fetishes as you. It's kind of crazy. He has a really big dick. His girlfriend sent a picture," I replied.

"Is your cock twitching for me again?" I grinned at him. "You wanna see don't you?"

He gave a sly laugh.

I started to stroke him again to get him ready for round two. It was my turn to cum. I knew he'd be able to last as long as I wanted him after giving him that release not long ago. I turned to grab my iPad to open the email. I showed him the picture of the guy in question.

"So, what do you think?" he asked me.

"About his cock?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

"He's got a nice looking dick. Definitely not even close to small," I answered honestly.

"I have made an effort to understanding where you're coming from in your preferences and I mostly get it. But with one his size I would have thought someone like that would be more interested in and get more aroused by hearing how much bigger he was than his girlfriend's previous lovers. You could do some comparison sort of stuff I guess, but it would be difficult to go very far into the side(s) of the fetish where you are actually declaring it small," I continued.

I rolled over to face away from him and shimmied my way back into the spooning position. By this point I just wanted to get fucked. And I don't mean a quickie. I got some spit on my hand and fingers and rubbed the head of his cock to get him wet. I lifted my leg a bit and reached down between my legs to grab his cock and guide him in.

"Can I ask you something about all this, since I just wrote down my answers to all of your study questions?" Kevin asked as we got ourselves situated.

"Sure...ahhh," I moaned as he slid further into me.

"Did you ever have any concerns about my size?" he asked.

"Not in the way that you would think," I replied as I enjoyed the sensation of his hardness slowly grinding against my walls.

"Then how so?" he pressed.

"I'll answer that after I cum. Just keep fucking me!" I demanded.

"Yeah. Yeeeaaah. Right there. Fuck. Fuuuuck! I'm cumming! I'm cumming!"

That was the quickest I have ever achieved orgasm. Upon making that comment Kevin's cock hardened and swelled as he began thrusting faster and harder. He was pulling my hips into him each time he penetrated me. The angle was perfect. Usually once I cum I start encouraging him to cum. But I was still so wet and so turned on by this momentary aggressiveness that I just let him continue. He turned into a marathon runner. It was hard and fast for another twenty minutes solid.

"Whew," Kevin sighed once he finally removed himself from me and rolled over on his back to catch his breath.

"I was never concerned about whether or not you were big enough to please me," I paused to catch a breath. "I was nervous about whether or not I would be tight enough for you."

"That's surprisingly hot," he admitted.

"Interesting" I said. "It isn't one of those playing-to-your fetish things."

"It isn't?" Kevin asked in a confused tone.

"Nope," I hesitated to continue, feeling that he was about to say something or question it further anyways.

"Then...?" he offered as a suggestion to explain further.

"You remember that first night that we were going to get physically involved with each other? I was about to go down on you and your comment to me was 'I'm not very big.' It was obvious then that you had an insecurity. It didn't matter once I saw your penis that I didn't feel like you should be insecure. You were. So my thoughts about it before we had sex the first time were more to do with how you felt. I knew you had only been with one other girl. I didn't know what her past sexual experiences were. I felt insecure about whether or not she would be tighter than me and that if she was, it might have felt better for you. I had been with two really large guys. I didn't know if that would make a difference in the way it felt for you or how that would compare to how the other girl felt," I explained.

"Really?" he asked, sounding shocked.

"Well, lemme ask you: when you slide inside me after we have used Mr. Nine, how does it feel for you?" I asked.

"Mr. Nine?" he questioned.

"Oh, haha. The big toy with the suction cup," I chortled.

"Haha. You named it," he started to reply. "Honestly, it feels great. It feels great for me on a psychological level as I am sure you know. But yeah. You're so wet by the time you put me inside you that there is the immediate sensation of physical pleasure. But there is that weirdly competitive aspect to it as well. I mean, I can tell that something bigger than me has been inside you. You are temporarily stretched out further than what I am capable of doing to you. But it is both physically and psychologically arousing for me."

I think he could tell that I had an inquisitive disposition at the moment. "If you're asking whether or not I would have been able to tell that you had been with larger men before me when we first had sex, no. There's no way that would have made a difference in the way you felt for me once we finally had intercourse. Even when we use the toy it only takes like ten minutes for you to contract back around me. Truth be told, when we just have regular sex and you put me inside you after a normal foreplay session you're so tight that it makes me feel big sometimes."

"Interesting. I'm glad I asked that. That is somewhat comforting information. As soon as you acknowledged that you had an insecurity, the tightness issue did come to my mind. Ultimately I'm glad that we've been open about your concerns from back then because it has made both of us more confident and more willing to express what we want. I mean, is there anything you would change about our sex life?" I added.

I added another thought before he could respond, "How about using a toy that is smaller than you? Is that something you think you'd like?"

"What? To make me feel bigger?" he laughed. "Do they even make dildos smaller than me?" he joked again.

"Yeah, I guess that's what I am getting at. Like, if it was arousing for you to be bigger than Hector... I'm just saying, if that's something you think you'd be interested in, I am certainly open," I answered.

"Well, first off, no. There's nothing I would want to change about our sex life. Second, I honestly don't know how I'd feel about us playing with a toy that is smaller than me. I'm certainly open to it. But it may be very much like your thoughts about verbalizing a more humiliating version of my fetish. It wouldn't be a very truthful endeavor to use a smaller toy so that you can tell me that I'm big," he answered.

"But whatever you have in mind that you want to try for the sake of improving our sex life further, I'm willing to be a guinea pig. In fact, if you want to start a new series of experiments, I'll get some charts ready and we can start in about five minutes," he joked.

"How many trials do you think we should run?" he asked and grinned.

"A few more decades' worth should be sufficient," I answered.