All Comments on 'Laura's Choice Ch. 04'
by cerrotorre
- 9 Comments
Anonymousover 5 years agoIntriguing story! I have small doubts for the clinical way you write, because makes it little remove from reality and difficult to follow.I believe that a better description of all the characters' thoughts and fellings will very much improve it.
Anonymousover 5 years agoI was very pleased to see a new chapter posted! Unfortunately, I'm really disappointed by the direction you chose to take in this latest submission, especially given your earlier assurance you didn't intend any girl on girl action. I regret reading this.
Anonymousover 5 years agoI’ve been eagerly waiting for this chapter. Great story development. Please keep writing.
Masterfuljimover 5 years agoI like the direction it is going. Laura is now going to be under both of their thumbs and something has to give...roll on fireworks
Ellienora35over 5 years agoHe made a deal with her, and he is breaking his deal. The deal worked because she trusted him too, and he broke her trust. He trusts her to come home me, and she trusts him to stick to his deal. She needs to talk to him. She needs to tell him she doesn’t trust him anymore. The girl on girl and making her part of keeping Arie there is too much. She needs to call the cops one day when he lets her out for class or something. She is smart. She needs to plan this really well. Do it while she is following all the rest of his rules. Do it with someone who isn’t part of them. She likes and misses what he does to her, but she doesn’t love HIM.
cerrotorreover 5 years agoAuthorI'm sorry for Anonymous's comment that expressed disappointment about the girl on girl sex. I thought I made it clear that Laura didn't want it to happen, in fact neither girl was a particularly willing participant in the act. I don't think it was unusual or unexpected in the storyline context that Xavier would want the women to become involved in sex as a group. This being a particularly male turnon and he owned the women. I want this story to unfold organically and his desire to see them touch each other seems realistic in the story context.
I was also a bit surprised by the comment that my writing was 'clinical'. Keeping in mind that this is not a love story at least in the ususal sense and that it is told from the point of view of a women who is trying to make sense of a life that is essentially unreal, but still her daily existence. Okay, its not warm and fuzzy but the situation is about modern day slavery.
Anonymousover 5 years agoEarlier you claimed you had no intention of taking this story in this direction. Not only did he abuse her trust in him, you abused my trust in you. I believed you that there wasn't going to be any girl-on-girl, and kept following the story. I am really sorry because this was really unpleasant.
Your response to another reader was it was okay because Laura hated it, like that made it all better. Oh, and they should have expected it because all guys get turned on by it so of course it was going to happen. Lame. You should have been honest when that reader first asked you and said, "yeah, it's gonna happen 'cause guys think it's hot." Really lame. I'm done reading you.
cerrotorre@cerrotorre
