All Comments on 'Let Go'

Your story line was good, and you kept your readers interested, ,and wanting to find out was coming next. If used someone to proof it, find someone else the next time, otherwise, you will get complains. Well done. Keep writing.

XYZ

This story was okay in my opinion, but the reconciliation was too rushed. She had just come back to friendly terms and did not prove that she respected and loved him. Instead, acted like the wife as soon as she stepped foot in the new house. Would have been much better if she worked more for saving the marriage.

Other than that, the husband turning out to be an immaculate professional was a bit of a stretch. If he was so brilliant, his talents would have been obvious. Even to a bossy wife like his. Her position is supposedly so high that this mistake is not a "lapse in judgement" but a complete and utter incompetence, which is not the case as far as authour is concerned.

It would have made much more sense if the Dave was able to live a life better than expected, but did not suddenly become successful. That way, Beverly's apology and love would seem more sincere. Here, it comes of as her chasing his success instead of trying to reconcile with the husband she wronged.

An OK storyline that kept the action moving along, but on page 3, I finally got tired of your habit of the MC being put in the first person and the third person, even in the same sentence. Seems you can't decide which to use. It's off spitting and makes it very hard to develops empathy for poor Dave. Hope you wi!l decide to use a good editor/proofreader. Good luck!

"He's been concerned for months," - I'm not inclined to go through over 600 comments, so probably this has been commented on by others, maybe even me, but if Adler's been concerned "for months," how is it that this is the first time Dave is aware of any concern? Any manager worth his salt would bring his concern to the employee.

~~~

"I had to do it that way!" - No she didn't. I realize it's needed for the story, but in reality, there's SO many steps missing. Why no warnings or expressions of concern about his performance? Why no discussion that would have revealed his strategy? Why not reassign him? Why not let him resign?

~~~

"it was in the best interests of the company." - How is it the best interest of the company to fire a former top performer, without at least looking into why?

~~~

I can't believe that she's leaning on Adler. Besides her own stubborness, HE'S the cause of all of her problems! He should have addressed his concerns to Dave months ago, short-circuited the whole mess.

~~~

?The reason I ask is that very scenario is described in the company manual your HR department sent me for employees with at least five years of tenure." - Wham, bam, BOOM!

~~~

"MY immediate supervisor knew all this." - Whoa! I either missed this in my earlier readings or have forgotten it, but Adler KNEW the situation and still torpedoes him?! Probably hoping it would destroy their marriage and let him weasel his way in, as he has been doing.

~~~

"She had let my ego get the best of her" - HER ego! I saw a few other places where person was mixed up within a sentence.

~~~

I don't know why they're pressing her to get Dave back. She has a tough enough task just to save her job, and it's going to take the kind of effort that's death to a relationship.

~~~

"I have the feeling that discussion never took place." - Not for lack of trying on Dave's part!

~~~

When did Sal become Sol?

Your stories are pretty good, a bit predictable but enjoyable nonetheless. You really need to proof them better or get an editor. This one is full of sudden shift from first person to second person to third person. Very jarring and disruptive to the flow.

I'm utterly intrigued by the commentators who have obviously never published a single line laying into the author, what a sad bunch you are!

Though the story is well written. The author wrote a weak male character (as it seems many authors do as well). He is betrayed by his wife and Sal's wife (with the ambush at his home). Then he passively follows his wife (should be ex-wife) around for the rest of the story.

I truly love this story❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Another read of this great story. Must be new year blues 😂😂😂

I liked it all 3 times. My only issue was, it jumped from 3rd person to first person, Dave , to first person, Beverly, back to third person. Once in the same paragraph. I think I've read them all. All good.

The repeated switching between third person and first person is jarring and annoying.

Excellent. Thank you!

Well done but I'd like to see you write the exact story except have him divorce her, take half of everything and find a spectacular, rich new love and live happily ever after. Cliche I know but you'd do it well.

Well worth a 5 great LW story not about just him and her its about what life throws at us and their ups and downs its a pit more of LW are not written like this

Story wise is wonderful and heartwarming, grammatically it needs some polishing, switching from first person to third person sometimes didn’t make a whole lot of sense and was a little confusing at times but was easy to overcome by “ad-libbing” when necessary.

Story wise is wonderful and heartwarming, grammatically it needs some polishing, switching from first person to third person sometimes didn’t make a whole lot of sense and was a little confusing at times but was easy to overcome by “ad-libbing” when necessary.

WHY do you keep changing 'tense'?

Example - "She had nothing to lose, so she told them the truth. She had let my ego get the best of her, ..."!

"SHE had let MY ego get the best of HER?

It took me about six goes to finish the first three pages, as it was such hard work translating it into readable English! NOTHING WRONG with the story, just reading, and RE-READING it is tiring, and frustrating.

So thereafter I jotted a few notes down, to help calm me down when I got so agitated interpreting it!

p.4 > "She had let my ego get the best of her" = 3rd & 1st party juxtapositioning!!

> "not that long ago where the hounds of hell couldn't keep you" >> where = when !

p.5 > " She would never be able to give him kids, now, at their age" -At 36? -Extremely early-onset menopause?

> "when his hand slipped up to my breast and toyed with a nipple she moved again" -1st party/3rd party...

p.8 > " It was only after she committed the ultimate in disrespect to him that he started pushing back" -Nowhere

have we read any mention of her having ANY Sexual affair, -no mention of that WHATSOEVER!

> "I'm pregnant, honey, eight weeks along. I have no idea how it happened" -REALLY! NO idea at all?????

I write this, NOT as a Troll, but because I LOVE these stories (EXCEPT for the ones featuring humiliation), & do really want to HELP authors to improve, wherever I can!

Yet still SOME other Lazy Arrogant Authors lash out against we Amateur Armchair critics who try to HELP by quietly pointing out where, and why, FREE editorial revue from keen amateur editor readings could easily enhance their work, and help improve their readability, and thereby enhance their repute and following!

The first person/third person flipping made me so uncomfortable I finally gave up reading on page two. It had potential to be a good story, but now we will never know. GET AN. EDITOR OR A PROOFREADER! Two stars.

I made the comments about perspective flipping. I read further into the story. Something that wrecks readability is vagueness about who is speaking and to whom. You have to sprinkle some names in place of she, her, etc. now and then. Don't make your readers work and re-read passages to figure it out. Upgraded from two stars to three.

I never tire reading this story. Thank you so much for sharing it.

Read this story at least once a month if I'm feeling a bit low. I have one word for the tale "Brilliant"

Brilliant would have not involved a reconciliation.

This was absolutely beautiful and brilliant. A true work of art imo

Beautiful story. This author really understands how to captivate the reader...

Brilliant writing marred by absurdly unrealistic business practices and a reconciliation. Clearly it’s damned hard to write a story that justifies reconciliation

Despite the terrible editing, this is one of my absolute favorite stories on Lit.

Great writing but I can't imagine forgiving that stupid bitch.

No understanding of business, and no sale on the reconciliation.

This was a good version of the original story. MM's version is no longer available since he left the site in a huff. George Andersons was good, as was yours. But I'd like to see a version where he BTB.

After reading some of the comments I fail to understand why people don't understand the meaning good of fiction. Not reading these stories to learn how to run a Corp. It is just for entertainment

It is by far one of my two favorite stories . So what if it is incorrect in some aspects. If you can do better then write it and post it. Like I said I don't know how many times I have read this story and will set it aside foe a little bit so I can read it again. Great read.

The summary of this story is this the Wife treats the husband like shit personally, professionally and I'm pretty much every interaction they have. After 'Years' of this behavior he leaves only after she FIRES HIM. Humiliating him at their place of employment and despite all this after leaving everything behind he takes her back because she......what the fuck did she do? She literally did nothing she popped by his house and hey presto all is forgiven 😂😂😍

I love the story, the only issue I have is it skips from 1st to 3rd a lot making it hard to follow at times.

Reasonable writing with only a few errors. The storyline is fine except for one item. She fired her husband and humiliated him utterly, completely & totally. She turns up uninvited, at a party, waggles her butt and Wow it’s all sunshine and roses. Not just no but hell no !

Bev & Dave . The two orphans...

My father was so obsessed with my mother that he put up with all of the dirty, cruel, things that she did to him. Like when after their first divorce she put me in a military school (one of the best things that happened to me). Ran off to Brazil with another man for two years and sent him a postcard every week. That was one of the nicer things she did and every time he took her back. Not only took her back but remarried her. Only for her to divorce him again. They were married 3 times and divorced 2. Dad never did grow a spine when it came to her. I moved in with my kung fu master when I was 18. He taught me how to be a man. So yes the story is not only plausible. It happens! I really like the story, it just proves that a good story does not have to be filled with sex even here.

C'est la troisième fois que je relis cette histoire avec toujours autant de plaisir. 5*

I’ll love your writing and I loved this story until they got back together. The whole scenario of how they just easily slide back together doesn’t work. No one, man or woman, who was treated as he was would ever trust her again. You’re still a great writer I just feel you missed it on the ending.

I think this is the best story I have read here , I felt like I knew them all by the end .

I’m a 58 year old man and you had me crying.

I would give you 10 stars if I could , thank you

The story itself was good but spoiled slightly by the author's bewildering habit of dropping first person pronouns into a third person narration.

I had always known qhml1 to be a terrific story teller and that was why I dived into this one. I wasn't disappointed. This story is very realistic every bit. People screaming unrealistic by judging other's reactions from their own worldview are just being myopic. Temperaments differs and so does our different response to situations. Thank you for this piece.

Bev the bitch. Stupid AH was too quick in forgiving her

I love this story I’m glad it didn’t up like others

Dump the cunt.

I love your writing but no one, male or female, would go back to a person who had treated them like he had been treated. This wasn’t just a one time lapse in judgement but a way of life for her and him. I wish he would have had the self respect to have moved on with HIS life. What’s that old saying about a leopard and their spots?

Started well, slipped and fell. Turned into pure schmaltz

Had to stop at page 5. Was not happy when I jumped to the end and saw they reconciled. Glad I didn’t waste my time reading the rest. He was a fool to put up with her crap for so long and to take her back. What a self-centered bitch.

The rather cavalier manner in which Beverly and later Amanda suddenly make unilateral decisions to stop their birth control and wait until they are pregnant (or likely to be) before informing their husbands is troubling. When husband and wife live and respect each other, is not parenthood something that should be a jointly made decision? If it is made by the wife alone, it seems clear that either the love or the respect, or perhaps both, is missing in action.

I read this story before, and liked it despite the flipping perspectives, first and third person, and other unforced errors.

This time, they are too great a distraction to enjoyable reading. I bailed out on the second page. Three stars. JPB

My goodness, the pronoun trouble...

I liked the happy ending. Good story.

I've learned to ignore the spelling and grammar errors and just enjoy the stories on this web site. This stuff is free. Why complain? Five stars for a great story with a few typos (BFD).

My goodness what a lot of distressed BTBs, grammarians and language experts who feel they should be getting far far more from a free story on a free website.

You get what you pay for guys!

Good story, and glad it fit the actual theme of Loving Wives!

I read to the end because I loved the characters, and the story progression. However, I am also in the crowd that feel the numerous grammar issues hurt readability. E.g. Often switched pronouns from "her" or "his" to "my" in the same sentence. This is an easy fix, so don't feel bad. I know this is a site with free stories and don't expect perfection - I am actually giving this feedback BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO WRITE MORE and get better. I want you to succeed and I personally believe you can exceed the lower expectations set by others on the site.

Things you already do better than most on this site: 1) You have believable and likable characters. 2) You have a realistic/plausible plot. 3) You engage readers enough to create an emotional reaction.

This could be a treatment for expanding into a decent novel. This was a breath of fresh air in this site, honestly.

Her transition was not overly realistic, but I enjoyed the story enough to accept it. The rambling at the end hurt the story a bit, as it seemed like you just felt compelled to close things out after your passion for the story had already ended and the writing quality was much lower.

Loved the story - hated the ending wherein he took her back.

Just a great story, of redemption. Thank you.

I can't believe he actually forgived her WTF

Has anyone written a version where she dies alone as an old cat lady?

Why does she think 36 is too old to bear children? WTF?

Glad Bev got over thinking she was too old to have a baybay.

Good story of them turning it around. The drip of information about background plotting was 95% to 98% of what would be perfect, you did really well on that. In fact, it could be perfect, and I am just not expert enough to know.

More sex.

Five for you

This is no story of redemption but of manipulation. He simped all the eay to the end. There was no equality or submission. Just more of the same. Glad these people are made up and no one actually got hurt 🤣

No matter how complex you make this, it is still just a cuck story.

Wife's too much of a twat for a reconciliation.

Schwanze1, "Has anyone written a version where she dies alone as an old cat lady?"

That, I would read.

Loved it, thank you

So the story idea was great, but your concept of time not so great. Things that should have taken weeks take minutes or days in the context of your story. You've got him in one week. He's went from being fit to having a beer belly and then he spends less than a week. Or you don't give a time frame for how long it takes for him to get in shape. But then when he finally meets his wife again, it's only been 10 weeks. The work on the house would have taken the months not weeks and then the wife and him but both work for the company for 8 years. She went from a low level management position to CEO in 8 years and he was a salesman that's supposedly was well known enough that all sales people in his line of sales with know him, but yet not good enough to receive not even one promotion in his whole eight careers or even enough to warrant the company. Looking at a reason why his sales would have dropped all things that would have not what make the story. Unbelievable and it all these other salesmen would have known him and his reputation. It wouldn't matter the reason he got fired. He would have been snatched up in a heartbeat by other competitors I'm not saying that the story was bad. I'm just saying that some of those items could have been addressed which would have made the story better than what it was

Overall good

Won't nit pick

Except one.

High position and only two weeks vacation

Some executives don't take it all But get a lot more than that.

Good ones as Sol learn to delegate and take off when they want.

Nice story. Pronouns...in one paragraph there would be both I and he

But again, nice story

The story got a little confusing in places regarding time and perspectives, and needed some basic editing. On the other hand, I spent a lot of time tearing up and crying while reading this. You're an excellent writer, you just need an editor to clean it up. Thanks.

Apparently your editors can't distinguish between 1st and 3rd person conversations, makes it very difficult to read. Otherwise, meh

Poor choice of editors. Yet a very lovely story! Cheers!

SHUT THE HELL UP... You Wanna be English Professors!!!

This Story teaches you everything that our current standards going against..... Being a Good wife and Husband, being a good parent, being a good child. And to the writer, you know how to use the Pen, Do not put it down.

I liked the story. What I really disliked was the often showing “I” view when it should have been mostly “He” but also “she” version.

A check over would turn the story much easier readable. Nevertheless 4stars.

No way a marriage survives that

Sorry, wackdoodle, I have never done this before, but I wonder if you read the same story I did.

I have been in a situation where I loved a person and for years I played second fiddle, it hurts terribly, especially when it is ongoing, and you have made efforts to resolve it.

Dave did not push it all the way to court, he resolve the case.

He needed her to wake up by feeling some pain herself, otherwise she would have dictated the terms for the resolution, which would not have happened.

Dave is human and has his flaws, the way the story was written, and characters, resolved, reaching out, had to be done, and Dave felt he had done all he could already .

I am not singling you out to label you, but my first impression was I wondered if you read the entire story.

I have read your other comments, and I mostly agreed with you, I just differ with you on this one.

In summary this caricature of a man was nothing more than a Salesman for his entire Career? Yet supposedly he's highly regarded and highly respected except by himself and his wife obviously because she even refers to him as only a Salesman.

So in short this Guy has zero to no ambition like at all as his wife begins her inexorable rise to the top dickless does nothing but the minimum requirement to keep his job. How do I know well for one thing high performing Salesman don't stay Salesman that's a UNIVERSAL FACT.

And now his marriage supposedly his wife treated him like shit for literally YEARS. And they hadn't had sex for a year or close to it before she even fired him without cause? Like WTFD and what does wonder schlong do fucking nothing he goes all passive aggressive in fact everything he does is just more pathetic than effective.

He doesn't iniate shit his lawyer another controlling woman takes charge. He luckily meets his new boss and instead of going after the hot bosses daughter he wimps out again and hides on his hobby farm. Taking back the cunt wife was about as big a kick in the balls that any reader with a set of balls could possibly take.....welcome to SIMPVILLE

I like the is author a lot. One of the more talented ones here. But the premises of this story don't work. First, a guy that talented and far-sighted as a major salesman would have gotten a hearing. Most rising executives in such companies began in sales. That a female executive with her talent didn't get that? Nah. Especially if a major client top dog had a high opinion of him and would have said something to her at company parties. Also, a career-focused ambitious executive woman at 36 rising on talent wouldn't change her ways as portrayed here. Just wouldn't happen. Divorce would have been a virtual certainty. I was in the medical industry for many years, and saw such talented women in that industry. Few were married, had families above a certain executive level, and if they had a spouse, he had a totally independent life. Otherwise, you respected them professionally but marry one? As one commenter put it: "WTFD?" I was married to one, but cut her loose for a more loving and domestic nurse for a blissful marriage of 20+ years and two children. Such transformation as depicted here just don't occur i the real world. BUt it's why they call this fiction. And QHML1 does it well.

So many well written stories on this site about a marriage with two pussies in it.

Second or third time around for this almost tragedy that turned into a fairytale. Very good writing and many lessons to learn about relationships and marriage. Some of tend to prioritize the wrong things and others of us don't have clue, myself being part of the latter group. 5 stars as usual and a much better ending than some of the other 'Let Go' stories.

A solid story. A few small spelling mistakes, and a few places where it looked like the story was initially 1st person, but hadn't fully had the "I"s edited out. And you didn't do anything with the car thing that Dave was fixing up. Overall, though, I enjoyed it. Solid 4 stars.

Or, he retired to Ecuador and was spoiled and attended to like a king by a young goddess and her whole family who thinks he's the greatest guy in the world. His ex wife spent all her retirement funds searching for him before she found him. He gave her a job as the maid reporting to his young goddess' mother.

Too Halmarky for my tastes but liked it non the less..

Re: Schwanze1

If you don't like it why don't you show us how it should be done, after all you've been here for over 6 years. Oh, wait...Your submissions are a total of "This user does not have any submissions yet." Signed: BTW 06/04/23

OK, that wasn't too difficult, right? Just take your time, get your ducks in a row and we can all live happily everafter. A good read that rates a solid five.

And thanks!

I dunno, after reading a bunch of your stories, it’d be out of character NOT to have a type o or two. I’m cool wid ‘em.

Let’s, see… at his point, so many stories, so much popcorn. I’m hankering for a good ol Moon Pie and an R oh C coke cola! Costco sells Moon Pies, but not sure if RC Cola is still in biz. Ah! The mom and pop store equivalent if your back woods town was too small for a Dairy Queen. Sweet. MEM…oh…ries!…

Yup, 10 on the 5 scale. On to the next. I wonder if the next has anything to do with an errant main squeeze? Don t say anything. It’d spoil the surprise.

2nd read. 1st was years ago and I forgot how long winded and desperately needing emotional connection the author was. Sooooo many tears, I am surprised the characters were not perpetually dehydrated.

Oh hell no

RC cola is still around. At least it is in California.

I really enjoy revisiting this one

Third time reading this. I'll be back.

That was a beautiful story. Thank you.

A very good story, well written, nice happy ending.

Thanks for sharing.

Loved it, you write great stories!

Good story, but he should have divorced her LONG before any of the later story happened.

Cheap ending.

I feel this story should have ended on page 3. The author repeatedly telegraphed in the story that this was a RAAC. I do like a good RAAC but not this one. The damage and humiliations done by the wife were so severe that this should have ended in divorce and his life well lived. The rest of the story after page 3 is well written and somewhat enjoyable but does not fit in well with what happened at the start. This is why so many do not like a RAAC.

This is bad, really, really bad. This is a forced, unwarranted, and undeserved RAAC. For the same reasons as raised by other posters.

Great writing but adios bitch

Third or fourth time through this story, if I didn't love I wouldn't read it again. Good story, Q!