All Comments on 'Little Gold Chain'

I would love to know what happens next!

Nothing different and not much detail. I can pickup a woman like her any night of the week, at a bar and not have to drug her.

Duh, my bad I didn’t actually read the Tags or the warning. I initially thought it was a role play or reluctance story.

Ah a straightforward kidnapping, rapist. Who in their right mind takes random drugs from a stranger? It’s not my kind of thing I prefer BDSM.

In literary terms it’s quite well written but the drugs are an issue. From a realism point of view I’d suggest that you have her assuming that he’s giving her paracetamol/ aspirin for her assumed hangover, to the extent that she would pick them up and actually say “Aspirin?” in a question format to him. If he just smiles in response it would be an easy mistake for her to make accepting his smile as confirmation that her query is correct.

Following that, you might want to insert more dialogue/ action because medication never kicks in immediately unless it’s something really strong/ very quickly absorbed. If that is the case it could be part of his explanation to her about what the tablets do.

Best of luck with your writing

Tess (uk)

One minor plot hole is how did she get her panties off with the chain attached to her ankle?

Well written and interesting. I do like NC stories and this was fun but I'd love to see her trying to resist even as her body obeys. Also, I recommend more details on the sex, describe her reactions, her feelings.

Overall, a really good first effort. I look forward to seeing more from you.

Great first story. Intriguing enough for me to want to read more. Well written. No disruptive bad grammar or unfamiliar phrasing to an American audience. There is enough content to provide a story but is also a great starting point if you wanted to expand.