Lou and Jordan test their limits

Lou, threw her arms around me tightly. "Jordan, it's not like that. Okay, we have ended up alone a few times, but it wasn't planned. I mean shit. We didn't know you would get called into work."

"No, but you also could've waited for another night. Waited until I was there. Don't you see. You actually enjoy having time alone together. Tell me I'm wrong?"

They both looked away guiltily. Lou, blushed, and couldn't hold my firm gaze. "Well, tell me I'm wrong?" I snapped.

"No, you're right." Lou, whispered, her words tremulous, embarrassed. "I don't know what to say. I hadn't even realised it until you just said it. God, I'm sorry Jordan. I never meant to hurt you."

Her wet cheeks ribbed wetly on my shoulder as she buried her head into my neck.

"Lou, we said this was just a bit of fun. It's no longer fun for me, and we agreed to try for another child. I think it's time to call it quits."

Eric, who had sat there silently stood up. "Jordan. You're my mate, I feel ashamed actually. I have always had these feelings for Lou. I've been honest. Well I thought I had. I don't want to wreck your marriage, lately I've let my feelings for Lou, get on top of me, and I have pushed her to spend time with me. I think, so long as you don't mind. I might move out."

Lou, jumped up into his arms. "You don't have to do that Eric."

"No, I do have to. I couldn't stay if we couldn't be together. By that I mean all of us."

I stood up beside them and we all hugged. Just like that it was over. He walked out.

Lou flopped back on the sofa bawling her eyes out. "Oh my god Jordan. What happened?"

I sat back down, and we hugged. "Lou, it's going to be okay. I should have spoken up earlier."

She sighed, wiping away the tears and talking through sniffles. "I wish you had. I didn't ever want to hurt you. I never set out to humiliate or disrespect you."

"I know that. I don't think anybody could enter into such a tight relationship and not have feelings for the other people involved. When I saw that what you were feeling was way more than attraction. I had to speak up."

"I understand that, I just wish we could have dealt with it, without it being so terminal. I mean Eric and I could have just stopped seeing each other without you."

"No, that wouldn't work. Be honest."

That night, there were lots of tears. Lou cried herself to sleep in my arms.

Eric, was gone within a couple of days. At work he was polite and professional, but there was a gap opening between us. He felt bitter and resentful, I could see it, feel it. I wasn't surprised when he walked into my office and said. "Mate, I've been offered a job out in Penrose with Archibald engineering. It's a good offer, more money, and more responsibility. They want me to start next week. I'm supposed to give a months notice. Is there anyway you could have a word with hierarchy and get them to waver my notice?"

"Yeah, I think we can do that. When do you want to finish up?"

"Today."

I stuck out my hand and we shook. "It would be nice if we could stay friends Eric?" I said.

"Yeah, I'd like that.

When I got home, Lou already knew.

It took a few days before she was ready to talk. It was after we had made love. We cuddled together and I asked the question that had been burning in my brain. "Is this going to be enough for you now? I mean, after experiencing everything we have. Will you be satisfied with just me?"

She looked horrified. "How could you even ask that. I was never unsatisfied with our sex life. Never. Inviting Eric in wasn't because I was discontented. Jordan, I love you, I love our life together. There's nothing wrong with our sex life, not from my perspective anyway."

Her words lifted a weight that had been bearing down on me.

We lay together for a while before she asked. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, shoot."

"When we made love, Eric, was very enthusiastic, or maybe willing to push the boundaries. He sure loved sucking your cock, but you never reciprocated. I know it upset Eric, and I did feel sorry for him. I know you enjoyed. Why was it you never even offered to reciprocate?"

"I guess, because it was a bridge too far for me. If I did it, I would be admitting I was something I didn't really want to be..."

"I don't understand, what's the difference?"

"There's a reason the word cocksucker is used as an insult. I guess I couldn't separate myself from that. I mean amongst my friends, it's probably the worst insult you could throw at another man."

"Now that is preposterous." She gasped. "Did you think worse of Eric, because he loved to suck you off? Were you thinking nasty thoughts like that when he did it for you?"

"No, I know it doesn't make sense, that I'm a hypocrite. Sorry, that's how I felt."

"God that's terrible." She sighed. "You know that was part of my fantasy. I wanted to see you do it."

That confused me. "Why?" I asked."

She shrugged, "When I think about it, maybe it's tied to what you said. I don't know. All I can say is it was sexy as hell watching him suck you, and I would have loved to see you the same in return. Giving, rather than merely taking."

"How far do you think Eric, would have been prepared to go?"

She stared up into my eyes, and said ruefully. "All the way. We talked about it. On our last night together, we experimented a bit with me sticking my finger up his bum. We fantasised together about him giving it up for you. I have to say, the thought of it made me as horny as fuck. I wanted you to fuck him while he licked my pussy."

"Wow, you really are a dirty little girl."

She giggled evilly. "Oh don't worry, I dreamed about him fucking you as well. I wanted to look into your eyes when he put it in. I wanted you to feel what I felt."

Our life did take a while to return to normal after Eric left. Willa missed him like crazy. I had to start doing all the jobs he had been doing around the house. That was a bastard.

In many ways, Lou's, new friendship with Felicia, and Rachel, was the saviour. They didn't know why Lou, was suffering, but they picked up on how low she was.

I have to say I was a little surprised... Lou, really enjoyed their company, and her and Rachel, were able to bond over their business ventures.

I knew she missed Eric, and when I asked her, she was reticent to talk about it.

"Come on Lou, be honest with me. The way you're behaving is as if you lost a loved one."

"Yeah, okay. He was a loved one, he was certainly more than just a friend. I could never have done some of those things if I didn't have a connection with the person."

Looking at me grimly, she added. "I could never do just random sex. I need that emotional tie. You were right by the way. I was getting very deeply attached to Eric, and I apologise, not for our connection, but how I neglected you. I can't believe I was so unaware."

"It's cool, we're past it now aren't we?"

She nodded, replying. "yes, I know I've been moody and grumpy. It has only just sunk in how deep my attachment to Eric, had become."

"I'm glad you can see it now. Rachel, and Felicia, seem to be dragging you out of the murky dark swamp."

"It's not just them. I do appreciate how supportive they've been. It's you as well Jordan. A lot of men might have reacted differently. You've been incredible. I do need to say thank you."

Life goes on, as the old saying goes. We sure had a lot of pillow talk to enjoy. It opened up our minds to new possibilities. We learned things about ourselves that had laid dormant. We found that we could open up a lot more, be honest with each other. I look back on it, and think it was a positive experience. In the end I let my own insecurities blow it up, and if I had the chance again. I would probably deal with it better.

The end