Love, Lust, and Betrayal Pt. 01

Nancy said, "OH My God, you didn't."

I shook my head.

"Damn Girl, I hope it was worth it."

I said, "At the time, it was. He was...is an awesome lover."

She asked, "Are you in love with him?"

I nodded, "No, but he says he's in love with me."

"Does Robbie know," she asks.

"I don't really know. I think he may suspect."

She then asked, "How bad is it, Deanna?"

I said, "As bad as it gets. Nancy, I'm pregnant."

"Deanna I'm speechless. Let me get this straight. You mean you've been fucking a thirty year old virile man for two months with no protection."

I nodded. "Robbie had a vasectomy years ago so we haven't had to worry about it in years. It honestly never crossed my mind. Don't worry, Nancy, I've already voted myself too stupid to live."

"How far along?" she asked.

I said, "Almost three months. I don't know what to do, Nancy."

"So when did you fall out of love with Robbie?"

I said, "I haven't. I didn't"

Nancy then asked, "Then how could you do this to a man who adores the dirt under your feet?"

I just started bawling like a baby. "I have no excuse. I guess I enjoyed the new attention. It was exciting and forbidden. Our sex life had fallen off. We never see each other. Life took our life."

Nancy looked down at my feet. "So it's Robbie's fault that you've been fucking someone else for three months."

I nodded, "No, All on me. My own selfishness."

"Did he give you those?"

I looked down. I still had the toe rings on.

I nodded. Nancy looked at me. "Deanna, I love you like a sister but I'm so disappointed in you right now, I don't know what to do. I think you need to prepare yourself that there's a good possibility he will divorce you. I will be here for you every step of the way no matter what, that's what friends do but there will be plenty of thirty and forty year old somethings out there that will be doing their best to put him in their bed when the dust settles. They will be happy to give him grief therapy in their bed while you are bloated with another man's baby in your womb."

I started bawling and said, "Robbie will be home tonight. I'll

tell him all of it."

"Do you want me there."

I nodded no. I got myself into this. Time to pay up and face the consequences. I may need a place to crash if he kicks me out."

Nancy, said, "What about Baby Daddy, he won't let you stay? I'm sorry for that. Sure, you can stay with me until things settle."

Nancy was pissed and I can't blame her.

I went home and sobbed for hours. I made sure I removed the toe rings . Any other time, I would get knee walking , commode hugging drunk but I've got a baby on board and have him/her to think about. I knew Robbie would be home in a few hours and I'm pretty sure I will be a few months away from being the ex Mrs. Deanna Ingram when we are through talking. I cleaned myself up and made myself as presentable as possible for the only man I will ever love. Twenty-four years down the toilet for two months worth of great sex and orgasms. But I had great sex with Robbie too. I got greedy and let an expert seduce me and bed me. God, just take me now but I know he won't. I need to be here to accept my punishment.

Chapter 10

I was sitting in our den in the dark when Robbie walked in. I was sitting with my feet tucked under me as I often did when we sat together. He looked tired and sad. He looked at me with eyes that told me he was in immense pain. That could only mean he knew at least part of it. He started to come to me and asked if I was alright. I waved him off.

"Please, sit down, Robbie. I need to talk to you and when I'm through, you will probably not want to come near me ever again."

He sat in his recliner and looked at the woman that he thought was his for the past twenty-four years.

He said, "The floor is yours, Deanna."

"Robbie, these words will be just words in a few minutes so please hear me out. You have been my dream man, lover, confidante, husband, best friend and the best father for twenty-four years. You've done nothing to deserve what I've done to you and our family. I love you with all my heart and soul. I always will. We have had the best of times together and I have cherished each and every one. Robbie, I have betrayed you, your love for me, our girls, my vows and everything that was good about us. I disrespected you and I let you down as a wife, lover and partner through no fault of yours.

Robbie, I've been involved with another man for the past several months. He is a young coworker. He fell in love with me and I fell in lust with him. You met him that day at the hospital in the ER. I think you suspected something then when you saw him holding my hand but up to that point that was the extent of it. He began asking me to lunch where he began his seduction. He pursued me relentlessly and I let him. I could have shut it down at any time but I didn't. Eventually, we graduated to heavy petting with him sucking my nipples and kissing. He broke through my defenses. I came to thrive on the attention he gave me. I should have stopped it but for a time, I forgot who and what I am. I'm disgusted with myself and humiliated."

Robbie has tears rolling down his cheeks and I want to go to him and make it all better but I know I can't.

I continued. "This man says he loves me and wants to marry me. I don't love him and have repeatedly told him that I love only you. I want to grow old with you."

Robbie smiled at that comment. I didn't. I said, "That won't happen."

"Robbie, the day, I flew to Houston for the seminar, unknown to me, he drove down to be with me. I didn't know until he showed up at my hotel. The affair took a life of its on from there. I spent the next 72 hours in his bed while he fucked me senseless. I won't go into details because I'm sure you don't want to know. Needless to say, the reason you couldn't get in contact with me was because I was in his bed.

"Please, Deanna...No" He got up and ran to the bathroom throwing up everything in his stomach.

I stood over him wanting to help but he yelled, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

He's never said anything like that to me in all our years. I've destroyed this good man.

We went back to the den. He said, "Is that all?"

I said, "I wish it was.

He said, "And?"

My own tears were flowing freely now. I said, "Robbie, I'm pregnant. I'm carrying his child in my womb. During our lust filled sex I forgot that I wasn't protected since you had a vasectomy. He impregnated me while we were in Houston. I had missed nearly three periods before I realized it.

He asked, "How far along are you?"

"Three months."

"Deanna, are you in love with him? Does he know he's going to be a daddy?"

I said, "I thought I was in love with him on some level but came to realize it was only what he did to me sexually that I was in love with. No, he doesn't know yet. Nancy is the only other person that knows. In another month, everyone will know by my swollen belly."

Robbie ran back to the bathroom and locked the door. He broke down, sobbing for his lost love.

When he came out, I had two suitcases packed and ready to go. He asked me where I was going to stay.

I said, "Nancy said I could stay with her for awhile until I find a place."

He lashed out. "What's the matter? Baby Daddy won't take his fuck toy in?"

That hurt and I deserve it.

I responded, "I don't know. Not gonna ask and don't care. I've destroyed everything that mattered to me over some cheap sex. When I saw the blue pluses on that EPT, the gravity of my behavior and what a fool I've been hit me. There must be something wrong with me. I let a man I barely knew put a baby in me."

Robbie said, "Okay, Deanna, sit back down. My turn to talk. I've known about your affair for awhile. It started with the hand holding at the hospital that started me wondering. Then after I got you home and into bed that day, you said, "Thanks, Joey" in your drug induced sleep. Then the phone call here that I overheard when he called. Then the last straw was your lunch date a week ago. I was the only other person in the restaurant in disguise. I saw everything from him licking my cum off his fingers to the blow job in the parking lot. I saw it all, Deanna."

She was sobbing uncontrollably. "That was you in the diner? Oh My God, Robbie, I'm so sorry. What have I done?"

"Well, you have destroyed me and a pretty damn good marriage. For What, Deanna? A big dick and some orgasms? The child your carrying in your womb is a little more than you bargained for, I guess. I thought we might be able to overcome whatever hold he has on you and salvage us but the baby in your womb changes everything. I won't raise another's man's child conceived in infidelity. There's no way I can stay with you knowing that another man's dick and sperm have soiled your womb. I can't stay and watch your belly swell with his child. I'll be leaving and filing for divorce. I see no path back, Deanna."

She looked at me and said, "Robbie, I will love you forever. I won't disrespect you any further by asking forgiveness or saying I'm sorry. There are no words that are sufficient. There is no forgiveness and no return. I know that about you. You are the best man I've ever known and I know some lucky woman will be flaunting her perfect toes in your face before the ink is dry on the divorce. I want you to know I loved your foot and toe fetish. I always knew how to get your motor running for me with that information. Not to mention, it turned me on too."

"Did you give him that pleasure also." She looked at the floor. "So you did." Another direct hit to her heart. I was angry.

"I will say this, Deanna. Do you plan on marrying him after the divorce? I just want to know because I do not plan to let your baby daddy go unscathed. Mr. Smart took the woman that I worshipped. He will pay."

She said, "Robbie, if you have any mercy, I will need my job to support myself. I ask you for nothing except that. Please don't do anything that will get you in trouble because I disrespected and betrayed you. He's not half the man you are."

I interrupted, "Except in bed and what he's got between his legs that made you spread your legs so easily. He must be a much better man than I am, right?"

"No, it was just new, exciting and forbidden. Robbie, I couldn't live with you going to jail or getting hurt."

I said, "So, are you keeping the baby?"

" I haven't talked to him yet but my plan is to give it up for adoption soon as it's born."

I looked at her and said, "The girls?"

She said, "This is my mess. I will tell them the truth and hope they have some mercy on this fool."

I walked over to her, kneeled down and kissed the tip of each of her toes and stared at their beauty. He said, "This is the last time and I will miss them. I kissed her on the lips and got up. I looked her in the eye and said "Good Bye, Angel. I loved you with all I had, i always knew I was out of your league."

I walked over and opened the front door for her. I sat her suit cases outside the door and said, "Good Bye, Deanna."

To be continued