All Comments on 'Lucky first timer Ch. 01'

You have alot of areas in which you could add on too describe more as this makes it feel rushed, this is great for your first story here/ Hope you add on to this and hopefully find some one that can help you better add on to your writings!

Good Luck, KIA

i would suggest you write the story completely in your native language then translate it. i think the story would read a little smoother

good concept but WAY too short

@bob54z Noted it, although it is just an introduction, i'll try to put together a longer chapter.

@jtukee Interesting remark, although knowing my native language (french) i am not sure it will help.

@Anonymous/KIA I am sorry it feels rushed because it wasn't, i'll try to describe more the feelings to make it as enjoyable as it can be.

Best regards, Casteller1985.

Next installment will be a 5 Star review I hope!

in the future slow down the action he has a slave but now he needs to learn about her. and maybe gather more slaves from her friends but be selective. he has the power now.

Good introduction. Please develop Lucia's character rather than just making her a sex slave.

Your rules.

Rule 6, other chapters. Yeah 7 months on and no more chapters. So to stop literotica getting even more incomplete stories on it can you please delete yours.

Dear Jack, I do not write for anything but my pleasure, and writing in another language is nothing but an easy task, but you have all the right to estimate that authors coming here have to produce on a regular basis, this is not my view though.

Best regards, C85