Marrying into Femdom Culture Ch. 03

Instead I felt her hand gently clasp my shoulder and give me a comforting squeeze. I took a deep breath and blew out some tension.

"Lee honey. Are you alright?"

"I just need to sleep. I'll be better in the morning." For a moment, I thought that might satisfy her. But then,

"You seem upset."

I rolled back over on to my back and looked at her. "I'm not sure I can do this." My voice sounded weak and scared.

"Of course you can. You're strong and smart, and you have me here to help you. You'll adapt."

"I'm not sure I'm submissive."

At this, she looked amused and incredulous simultaneously. "You are, sweetheart. Just the right amount."

"I mean, maybe I just don't have a lot of strong opinions about things. Like, just because I want you to decide where we go for dinner, does that make me submissive? I just don't really care about restaurants!"

She gave me a patronizing smile and laid her hand on my cheek affectionately. "Honey, you're lying here in my bed wearing panties, your balls still haven't fully recovered from the massive orgasm you had from me finger-banging your asshole last night, your cheeks are still a little pink from the spanking I gave you this morning, and you're carefully contemplating whether to make a lifelong commitment to become my collared submissive. That's plenty submissive for me!"

I squirmed uncomfortably at her characterization, but she pressed her body against mine in a kind of little hug and continued, "Hey, hey, just listen to me. I love you Lee. I love that you typically show your love for me by submitting to my will. It brings you more pleasure to please me by going to the restaurant I want to go to than it would to go to any other restaurant. You can call it 'not having strong opinions,' that's fine. But I know you have strong opinions when I need you to. You're your own man, Lee, you have your own principles. That's why you're struggling so hard with this. You won't passively accept it, you're too strong-willed. A weak-willed man would just take my collar and say 'yes dear.' I'd never collar a man like that. I want a partner, one who will submit to me his pride, his...underwear preference," she smirked at me here, "who cares more about obeying me than what his friends might think, but who will fight me like hell if he really disagrees with what we're doing. I'm steering the ship, but I don't want to sail alone. I want someone who lets me steer, but who will raise holy hell when they see an iceberg."

This was all sounding good to me. I let her pull my head to lay on the tops of her breasts. She ran her fingers through my hair, and I replied, "I want to be all that for you. This is just all coming on so fast."

"I know it's fast, and I'm trying to be patient with you, but sometimes things need to change fast and we have to adapt. What if I told you I was joining a colonization mission to Mars and needed you to come with me? What if war broke out right now and I needed you to become a refugee and protect me? What if I was diagnosed with a serious illness and needed you to take care of me full-time? Would you say that it's all coming too fast and you're not sure if you can be there for me?"

"Of course not."

"Damn right, of course not. You would step up. Because you love me. Well, this is one of those times, Lee. I know you're going to take my collar. I know you won't let me down."

She was clutching me painfully tightly in her arms at this point. She paused, taking a breath from her little speech. Then she released me and pulled me back so she could look me in the eye.

"I know some of this is shocking to you and so maybe it'll take you a minute to realize what an honor my collar is. But you need to really commit to submitting to me. Right now. You owe it to yourself and you owe it to me to give our relationship the best fucking chance you can."

Her words spoke to me. The idea that I might not 'step up,' that I might 'let her down,' was completely unacceptable to me. I felt empowered, previously fearing that extreme passiveness was what was being asked of me, and now awoken to the idea that I needed to get busy actively submitting.

"I've reserved a spot at the courthouse for a collaring ceremony, 10 days from now, the day before our flight home. So technically you have until then to decide. But until then I want us to behave as if you're collared. To give you at least a week to understand better what it will be like. That way you can make an informed decision. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah Vik. I'm sorry. I'm here for you, for whatever you need."

She continued excitedly, "Good. Then we're still on schedule. Tomorrow I've booked you for a full submissive package at the spa."

"Um, what?" It felt like the background music was suddenly cut. 'God-fucking-dammit!' I thought.

"It's very common, all collared submissives regularly go and even many couples who aren't dominant/submissive go as a novelty. They'll wax your body bare. You'll be fitted for a chastity cage and training plug. And then, tomorrow night, I want to take your virginity, I want to fuck you with my strap-on. We shouldn't wait any longer."

And just like that, the wind went out of my sails. Why couldn't I hold on to that good feeling I had just a few seconds ago? Why did I seem to have such a hard time squaring the imagery of me fighting a war for her on Mars or whatever and me getting fucked in the ass while wearing a chastity cage?

She saw my face change. "What? What's wrong?"

"The chastity cage, Vik. Is that a deal breaker?"

"A...deal breaker?"

She looked exasperated, like a professor who'd spent an hour lecturing only to realize her students had earbuds in, listening to music the whole time. She took a deep breath. "Lee, you need to understand, I'm not MAKING A DEAL WITH YOU! I WANT YOU TO SUBMIT TO ME! I WANT YOU TO FUCKING TRUST ME! If I want you to swear off orgasms until further notice, then I expect you to do that because I said so. If I want you to cum on me every single day, then I expect you to do that too. And if I want you to wear a chastity cage, then I want you to do so until such time as it becomes crystal-fucking-clear to you that it violates your core principles and integrity. So tell me what is this deeply felt objection to wearing a chastity cage you have?!"

I blinked at her, realizing that her diatribe had ended. "I, um, I need to think."

"Do that!"

We both lay back looking up at the ceiling. I tried to put my finger on what my objection was. Most of my friends back home would think me a pussy-whipped bitch already, letting my woman spank my butt pink and drag a thong up my ass. I didn't care what other people would think, at least I didn't think that was my main objection. I trusted Viktoria; I loved her. But was I really going to let her butt fuck me with a strap-on dildo? Especially without ever even fucking her once? I imagined myself leaving this island with a hairless cock, just released from a chastity cage, my anus sore and freshly fucked, flying home without the love of my life, without ever having had proper sex with her even once, the mocking laughter of my would-be mother-in-law echoing in my head. That was not a scenario I could live with.

"I want to fuck you. I mean properly. Traditionally. With my dick in your fucking cunt."

She gave me a patronizing smile and said, "Of course dear. I want that too. After your collaring ceremony, we can--"

"No! Now. Right fucking now."

"Impossible. It's basically heresy for a dominant woman to let an uncollared man fuck her. Much less one that she's never even properly ass fucked."

I stayed silent for a moment as my brain processed this new information. A dominant woman wouldn't let an uncollared man fuck her. Viktoria and I had discussed past romantic partners; she'd told me that she'd had no one serious, no long term relationships, but that she had been with many men. I had taken that at face value. But now..."Are you telling me that you're a virgin?"

Viktoria looked at me and raised her chin to meet my challenge. "In that one particular way, yes."

"You've never had a man's penis in your vagina?"

"That's right. You see now what you're asking of me?" We sat in silence, furiously contemplating.

"I still need it. Before deciding about the collar."

"Why?"

"I just do. I trust you, I swear I do. But I can't do all that stuff you said without this...this last proof that your commitment to me is as deep as mine to you."

Viktoria considered this a long time. It looked like a violent battle was raging behind her eyes. Finally, she stuck her finger in my face and said "You agree to submit. Everything I said. No more bickering. You obey me. Tomorrow night you take it up the ass like a good little bitch. You do all that..." she paused here waiting to see if I would start arguing, but I just kept breathing and listening, "...and I will break my traditions. I will compromise. I will give you my virginity and take your penis inside me, inside my cunt, before the collaring ceremony."

"Not just before the ceremony. Before I decide if there will be a ceremony."

Viktoria's eyes flashed with anger. "Fine. FINE! I agree. Fucking Christ!" And with that, she jumped out of bed and stormed out of the room.