All Comments on 'Master Introduces her to Kink'

I meant to give this 3 or 4 stars but the app wouldn’t let me - sorry! Damned app!

Here are my 2 cents, written with helpful intent. . Take them for the pennies that are worth!

This is a very promising story and you clearly have a great ability to imagine and describe an attractive plot. However, it looks more like a story “treatment” than a story, meaning that you are describing what you will write about rather than providing a finished story. I would love for you to slow it down, provide more and shorter paragraphs, more dialogue, more color and detail about what she thought, what they said, her reactions, the way he said things that made it thrilling. That way, the reader will not just read what happened, but the thrills they would experience by being there. You should definitely keep writing! You are a kinky diamond in the rough!

I agree with the other Anon comment, it needs more details, much more. As I read it the first half of the encounter came across as rape. BDSM think Safe, Sane and Consensual.

This....

“She obediently did as instructed too scared to see what would happen if she was disobedient.”

Doesn’t come across as consensual, regardless of the fact that she went there of her own free will and expected to have sex it came across (to me at least) as abusive. If you’d include details of safety and previously discussed limits it wouldn’t have seemed so aggressive. It was the aftercare, albeit very limited aftercare, that took the violent edge off their first scene.

Good luck with your writing.

Tess

Thank you for taking the time to provide feedback on my first piece of writing. I have wanted to write for a long time, but didn’t know how to start, so just jumped in. I’ll rewrite taking onboard your comments and see what I can do.

Where could I learn more about adding more colour to my stories?