Maximum Badonkadonk Ch. 01

"Looking for these, nigga?" Rashida was standing there twirling the bathroom keys on her pointer finger.

"GIMME THOSE FUCKIN KEEEYYYSSSS, AAAAWWW GODDAMMIT!! GAAAAD-DAAMMMITT TO HELL!!" I screamed jerking wildly on the door knob as my stomach churned and bubbled. Rashida was all teeth, grinning like she'd won the lottery.

"Hey man, you need some help?"

"OOOHHHH PLEEEEASE GAAAWD JESUS WANNNT YOU TUH HELP MEEEEEE GIRL!! HAAAALP MEEEE!! AHHHMMM, GONNNA SHIT MY PANTS RAAAAAA-SHEEEE-DAAAAA!! PLEEEASE GAAWD AHM, SORRY!!" I lost my footing tumbling over still yanking madly at the immovable doorknob.

"Hey, I'm gonna run and get you some help."

"DON'T YOU LEAVE ME HERE GIRL; YOU DON'T GO NOOOO WHERE GIRL!! GET BACK HERE-YOU BITCH!! YOU HENIOUS FAAAWKING BITCH!! AWWWW SHIT!! JESUS LOVES YOU!! PLEEEASE DON'T LEAVE ME GURL!!" Rashida popped out of the room giggling gregariously as my bowels began to stage a prison break.

Suddenly strains of CUPID SHUFFLE ironically by an artist know also as Cupid, began blasting loud as fuck throughout the salon.

Rashida reappeared along with Renee Kelly and everybody else cramming into the break room on one side facing me. There were enough people to form two rows of women. Also, Rashida's parachute pants were now missing replaced with a micro miniskirt. Her big shapely stallion legs were on full display as she, Renee and all the other women started fucking line stepping to that increasingly annoying song laughing hard all the way. That same goofy looking girl was filming me squirming about on the floor with what I now knew was Renee's fucking iPhone.

"OOOOHHHHHH GAAAAWWWDDDD, IT'S A MADHOUSE!! A MADHOUSE GAAAWD DAMMITT!!"

Then it was too late.

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"Uhm, hey Mister D?"

"What is it, now?"

"Well, there's some clothes outside the door in a paper bag; everybody else is leaving because of the smell."

"Thank you and goodbye." Her name was Carlie, she was being trained to take Yoli's place, both about the same age.

"Mister D?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry."

I didn't respond now confined to a toilet as the cycle of retribution came full circle. There was no doubt that esteemed baby mamma number two was behind the spiking of my food. Rashida Sikes received her pound of flesh and then some as I was utterly humiliated before being allowed into the restroom, after the fact. There was a tiny shower inside the bathroom that was helpful, but I was so humiliated.

Both of my partners in crime sent the girl filming back into the breakroom to fill me in before she herself left. There was nothing left but sitting there looking at my phone. Rashida Sikes was nearing six digits in views on the host site, but I didn't know if I wanted to work with her anymore.

"Are you still voiding your bowels, home boy?" It was Renee at the door now.

"Yes, thanks to you."

"How do you know it was me?"

"RENEE-I KNOW!" Her resultant laughter indicated her guilt.

"She's my girl, that shit you did was seriously out of pocket. You really think coming in here and bowing down at our feet was gonna be enough after you put my best friend on public display?"

"Well she got her pound of flesh; so are we done, or do you have some more chemicals you wanna drug me with?"

"That's up to you babe."

"Somehow, I thought you'd say that."

"I've gotta step out; there's a cleaning service coming to freshen up around here and uh, I left your original clothes outside the door. Don't take this shit to heart, we're still cool and everything; Rashida is cool now, so let's bury this shit."

"Sure." I replied dryly.

"I'll make it up to you baby." Renee replied after a few moments.

Part of me was glad for the door separating us because me ego had been destroyed. Crapping myself in front off a room full of witnesses was psychically emasculating to say the least. It was true I'd equally humiliated Rashida on the streets, but I felt the inclusion of all Renee's staff and some customers, was overkill.

I honestly didn't know if I could look Renee, Rashida, or anybody in the face after that. When it felt physically safe, I retrieved my clothing which was left in a bag out side the door. I was grateful that I was wearing the clothing Renee gifted me originally intended for Jaquan earlier. Now, I'd just be wearing my own clothing once I got cleaned up.

There were also two cans of club soda which I checked with the attention to detail only a crack head would understand before chugging them. I guess that was part of Renee's peace offering. I was lucky there was a shower in the salon bathroom figuring there was no way Renee would let me use her apartment bathroom in my "soiled" condition. The shower was sort of a walk-in industrial affair probably used by custodians when cleaning the place.

There were no feminine touches to speak of and the shower walls were covered with deep evergreen colored tiles. There was a clear plastic shower curtain instead of the original sliding door as evidenced by the track on the floor outside of it which gave me the impression of cleaning up in a human sized sink. The floor of the shower was concave with an ancient looking drain at its center.

I was grateful once the shower water hit me full blast; it was appropriately hot and steamy providing a relaxing sensation to my embittered body. I still felt a little queasy, but the club soda was wholly therapeutic as I cleaned up. I'd tossed the remnants of my soiled clothing in the waste basket, discarding it just outside the door before locking myself back into the salon bathroom.

I was still beyond pissed, deserved, irrational of not; but I knew I'd have to find someway to work with Rashida. There was no way I wasn't going to be perpetually clowned for this, especially with so many witnesses. My mind drifted to all of the sex I'd had with Chi Town Thunda up until we'd pranked each other into this situation. I chaffed inside at the memory of bowing at her feet when the bathroom doorknob suddenly began jiggling. Some body was trying it from the other side.

"RENEE?" No answer.

"UHM, HEY IS THAT MAINTENANCE?!" I recalled the new girl mentioning Renee calling up a cleaning service. No answer.

"RENEE, IS THAT YOU?!!" No answer.

"RASHIDA?!!" No answer as I planted a foot out of the shower expecting the worst.

Either the girls were playing another prank or something else was going on. I panicked covering my lower half with the shower curtain at the sound of keys followed by the quick opening of the bathroom door.

It was Mintzy.

"What is this, huh; ain't you gonna shout me out, huh Brotha? What, I don't rank or nothing; is that it?!"

"HEY MINTZY, KIND OF BUSY HERE IF YOU DON'T MIND?!!"

"Heard you're having a problem with your booty; I got me a fucking problem too so maybe we can like, help one another out Brotha." Mintzy pulled the door up locking it behind herself with salacious intent as the bathroom became smaller by half.

"YOU DON'T WANNA DO THIS MINTZY; NOT THE RIGHT TIME!!" I warned, still embarrassed.

"Cazzo, non negro; Prenderò il cazzo se non me lo dai adesso, cazzo!! Sono stato fottutamente bagnato tutta la mattina da quando ho visto il tuo bel culo nero!! Stiamo scopando o stiamo litigando!!"

Mintzy peeled off her top revealing her enormous pendulous breasts visibly sweaty, hard tan lines and all. They were watermelon big extending from the top of her sternum downward covering her belly button. Despite her age, her boobs sloped outward from her chest in powerful sloping fashion with a rubbery jiggle topped with nipples that were almost half spheres of ruddy flesh themselves. Her muddy olive skin tone completely mute her areolas making them non-existent.

Mintzy's big expressive eyes and crazed smile told me she meant business.

"Non mi importa se eri coperto di merda; Lo leccherei e ti fotterò comunque il cervello negro!! Adoro il cazzo nero!! Lo stavo aspettando dall'ultima volta che abbiamo scopato!"

There was a crazed look in Mintzy's big, doe like eyes as she shimmied and tugged at the skintight rayon skirt making her huge boobs swing back and forth. She went for a zipper at the back tugging it down finally freeing herself of the offending garment in dramatic fashion as I found out Mintzy was going "commando" on this particular day.

I mentioned earlier that Shirly "Mintzy" Lozano being built like a sexy Sherman tank and seeing her nude other than her aforementioned flip flops was a testament to that analogy. An even more adequate description of this woman would be old school buxom, simply put.

Her figure uncovered was more of an hour glass than any of the women I presently knew as her huge boobs matched her semi-squared hips with a thick torso and pouch stomach in-between. Her shape was an exaggeration of old school standards that harkened back to a 60's esthetic. The hard tan lines highlighting a healthy bush made it look like someone had stenciled a two piece bikini onto her body while she slept.

"Ah shit Mintzy; do you know what they did to me?"

"I know all about that sorry shit; I sold them a couple of boxes of powdered laxative and some Cayenne pepper this morning. I knew they were up to no good hon, but I didn't know you were the one getting the shaft. But you ain't got nothing to worry about no more, Brotha."

"Why?"

"Cause you got yourself a big Italian mamma to take care of you now, babe. I'M GONNA CLEAN ALL THEM PIPES OUT FOR YOU, LIKE REAL FUCKING GOOD LIKE!!"

"MINTZY!!"

She crashed into me like a force of nature kissing my neck as her hands ran all over my body. Mintzy was not going to be denied another moment as her body blanketed and forced me into the tiled walls. The lusty Sicilian woman stole a fleeting kiss which evolved into her licking a trail down between my pecs to my abdomen. She was a lot more agile than I remembered taking me deep between her lips. I was a little worried that she might hurt herself as she managed to kneel before me loudly slurping, spitting on my junk in brief intervals. Mrs. Lozano's sex starved technique got results quickly taking me to the edge before she relented.

"SORRY BROTHA, BUT YOU GOTTA GIVE ME SOME OF THAT BEFORE YOU BLOW!! I NEED IT INSIDE ME, NOW GET YOURSELF DOWN HERE, WHY DON'T YA?!!" I was used to her grating East coast accent, but still found a bit of irritation at the manner in which she spoke. I decided I was gonna give her something to live for just like last time.

"Okay, fine Mintzy." Both of us were wet from the still running shower as I mounted her from behind half in and out of the shower.

"OH CAZZO, È APPENA QUELLO DI CUI MI SERVE!! VOGLIO CHE MI PRENDI LA MIA FIGA FRATELLO!! FAMMI UNA PASSEGGIATA DIVERTENTE, TUA MADRE NERA SCOPATA!!"

My balls slapped up into her bushy cunt with impunity as I just went for it with aplomb, fucking away at Mintzy's thick chunky backside. I found the same tiny heart tattoo inked on her cement cheeks with the banner bearing the name BRUNO written on it. This woman was solid in the rear with almost no give from my incessant pounding with nary a motion ripple.

Her cunt was really tight, more than before which made me think of her son's apparent job as her jailer. That kid would probably put a hit on me himself if he knew where his mother was at this moment. Mintzy's breasts were hanging ponderously touching the floor. There was a lattice of goosebumps on her back endorsing the effectiveness of my actions along with her words.

"LIKE THAT?!! YOU LIKE THIS SHIT MINTZY?!! THIS WHAT YOU WANT, HUH?!! YOU LIKE GETTING YOUR PUSS STUFFED BITCH?!!" She nodded her head feverishly as I underlined my dirty talk by shoving myself roughly inside on every syllable. The bathroom floor was fast becoming wetlands, but neither one of us cared.

"OH MIO DIO, TIRA I MIEI FOTTUTI CAPELLI, BELLISSIMO NEGRO!! VOGLIO AVERE I TUOI FUCKING KIDS PER DARMI QUESTO BUON FUCKING DICK!!"

Mintzy's head dipped low to the floor, but I got a handful of her scalp raising upper half off the floor pounding her even more. Her mountainous breasts were bouncing and jiggling all over the place until I reached around with one hand digging my nails into the tender flesh there. I'd been told, rather informed that Mintzy enjoyed rough sex and I'd already taken her in this manner before, so this was a continuation. She was squatting upright on the base of my cock. The constant motion made me a bit dizzy causing me to disengage.

"PUT IT BACK IN THERE BROTHAAA!! YOU PUT IT BACK WHERE-THE FUCK-IT WAS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!"

"Chill Mintzy; I'm feeling a little faded."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just let me sit down for a minute." I was feeling queasy as Mintzy knelt there taking stock of the situation. She looked genuinely concerned for my welfare. I sat on the open toilet staring at my dirty bathroom hookup.

"Aw goddammit to hell; Renee done gone too fucking far with them stupid ass pranks!! Now my baby can't like, close the deal and everything. Well, lucky for you I ain't come empty handed or nothing."

"Huh?"

"Well I used to study a bit of nursing before I got myself married and all with Bruno; so I know a few things brotha."

"What, uh no Mintzy, please." She was already righting herself.

"Now don't you go giving me no lip; I'm pretty good about all this medical stuff. I kinda figured you'd be like, internally compromised, so I bought a little something with me from the store." I wasn't liking the sound of this at all. Mintzy was pulling her skirt awkwardly up, huge breasts dangling right before my eyes.

"Please god no, Mintzy." My stomach was starting to act up as she slipped back into her top failing to notice it was inside out.

"Shut up your mouth kid; I ain't gonna hurt you none; I admit I was a little selfish wanting mine before helping you out. We've gotta get you squared away and all, okay?"

She didn't care that I was shaking my head profusely in the negative. The smile on her face was supposed to be reassuring, but I had a difference of opinion as she unlocked the door giving me a glimpse of a plastic bag hanging on the outside handle.

"Mintzy I think I would like to go to a medical facility, if you don't mind?"

"You don't need no fucking hospital brotha, it's real simple you see; we just gotta empty you out. So, it's either an enema or you walking around for the rest of the day in a diaper." She produced a small box containing her boorish suggestion with every intent of using it whether I liked it or not.

"Fuck me stupid."

"Don't worry about it; I used to do this all the time for my uncle Sal when he got himself backed up." Mintzy grinned opening the box.

"This ain't over." I didn't mean it towards Mintzy.

...to be continued.