Meabh, Queen of Connaught-and Evan

Something close to anger clouded his face and I was confused.

"No. I don't wish this was a real dick, and I don't wish I was some man's bitch," he said, his anger still blazing.

Gradually, his breathing slowed again and his look softened.

"Look," he continued, "you were doing really well, but I'm hard-wired straight, and that was like a bucket of cold water. Let's take a break."

He got off the bed and headed to the bathroom.

Fuck me. That went off the rails. I sat and waited.

When he got back, he apologized.

"Sorry, Meabh. I loved your creativity, and you had me going. From what I read, a lot of guys with microdicks really do develop as bi or gay. The reason we have small dicks in the first place is that something went haywire with our system while were in gestation, and it's the same process that wires in sexual orientation. But not everyone, and not me, OK?"

"I'm so sorry. I knew I was pushing. You want to keep going? I'm guessing not," I offered.

He smoothed my hair and kissed me.

"You're an angel," he told me, "but I don't think I'm up for any more fireworks right now."

"Then just hold me," I said, "and we'll have the perfect end to a perfect day."

We fell asleep in each other's arms.

EVAN

I'll have to count our weekend together an outstanding success! We had a couple of bobbles, most notably when she was about to shove Rebecca's Feeldoe up my ass, but holy crap did we have a hot time! I took Meabh back to her hotel the next morning after another brunch.

We didn't have sex Sunday morning, not orgasms anyway, but we showered together again and I talked her into staying nude until it was time to go. I did too. She didn't seem nearly so self-conscious about it, which made me feel trusted. I managed not to feel self-conscious some of the time. This might be something we need to do a lot.

It was good, I think, that she would be away for a week and that I'd be swamped with running her unit and mine while she was gone. It would give us some perspective.

She took the Feeldoe with her. I spent idle moments fantasizing about its return and charged up my vibrating butt plug. I told her about it when we talked the first evening. Thursday night, she told me to wear it to work!

MEABH

I hate packing and moving. We moved into this place 8 years ago, and even after Danny (my ex) took his crap with him, the place was jammed with the detritus of early life with kids. I went after it hammer and tongs.

My friend Carol came to visit me on the 2^nd night bringing a bottle of wine and a sympathetic, skilled ear. Amid the boxes and clutter, and we sat and sipped while I told her about Evan.

Carol isn't just a friend, she's a clinical psychologist. She helped me break the cycle of dysfunction to give Danny the boot. She probed me with insightful questions and offered some thoughts on Evan.

She was glad to hear how he was handling my issues. She thought his sensitive perception was good for me. She was delighted I got "kind of laid" as she jokingly put it. She demurred on taking my observations and analyzing Evan--she said it would take lots of conversation with him to come to any sort of conclusion about what drove him, and why he sought a dominant woman, and maybe why he sought out things that served as either punishment or embarrassment.

She wasn't surprised, though. She actually was familiar with Micropenis and its psychological impacts. She had a micropenis patient in therapy and had dug into what research existed.

She excused herself to the bathroom and I finished the box I'd been working on before she arrived.

"I'd like to show you something," I heard her say from behind me. I turned, and dropped my jaw, completely speechless.

"I'd considered telling you, or even showing you, when you were dealing with Danny. I was afraid it wasn't a good thing--I was really more your therapist than your friend then, and this--well this would have been over the top."

"When? My God, honey, cancer? How long? Are you OK now?" I stammered.

What dropped my jaw was that Carol was bare chested, and displayed the scars from a double mastectomy. Tears filled my eyes. Tears for what Carol must have gone through, and tears of embarrassment over whining about having "nothing at all." I had something, even if unbalanced and in miniature. She had nothing at all, and showed no signs of being upset by it.

"I didn't have cancer when I had them taken off," she answered, "but I was almost certain to get it. My mother, her mother, and two of Mom's aunts all died young of breast cancer. Mom's was metastatic. It was awful. She never got a tumor until the cancer spread to other organs and her bones. I had genetic testing done and found I carried the gene, so this was a preemptive strike, just after I got my PhD."

"Holy shit..." I began. She cut me off.

"We don't have the same story, sweetie. This was my decision, made when I was already grown. I don't carry the baggage of the taunts, teases and snubs that you do. Or that Evan does. Those leave deep marks. But I'm telling you that your boobs don't define you. You can get along alright without any at all. In my case, you can get along better than alright--you can stay alive. So if Evan is giving you that same message, he's a wise and good man.

"I'm not saying plunge ahead with him and everything will work out fine," she went on, "but I am saying he's found a way through having a micropenis in a cock-dominant world and you will probably find a way through the problems it gives you as a couple, if you decide to be a couple. Just keep your eyes open, and keep in touch, OK?"

"I'm never going to whine about my tits again, ever," I swore, tears still streaming, and rushed to hug her. "Oh, Carol, I'm so glad you're alive!"

"So before I put my falsies back on, can I see yours?" she grinned, "I promise not to seduce you."

I was surprised at her request, but damn--how could I refuse!

"You don't think Jeannine would get pissed?" I asked as I unbuttoned.

"My darling wife wants a peek too, since you've carried on so about them, but I don't think I'll mention it to her.

"Oh, honey--I'd take those in a hot minute," she exclaimed as I let my bra fall, "they're both gorgeous!"

I cocked my head, reading her mind.

"You want to play with them, don't you, you hussy," I teased.

She started to deny it, but then admitted: "Well hell yes I do!"

"Well go on then," I nodded, "but you're not getting in my panties!"

"Mmmmmm," she sighed, reaching out to stroke them, then rolled my nipples between her fingers.

I was flabbergasted! I felt my pussy moisten! My only girl sex was when I was college and it left me disgusted with myself. I hugged her and pushed her head to my chest. She took the hint and kissed them, then straightened and pushed away.

"Okay, then! Any more of this and I damn sure am going to get in your panties, and then we'll both be in trouble! But honey, I love your tits, and I'm going to hold that memory for a long, long time."

She turned to re-clothe herself.

I tried to remember where I'd packed my vibrators.

"Any last words of wisdom?" I asked as we shared a goodbye hug.

"Just this, honey. You and Evan are evolving. You're both appropriately past intense relationships and finding your way forward. You're both different people than you were what, 5 years ago now? You're coming from a guy that was mostly a destructive force. He's coming from a woman who probably resurrected him. But you can evolve together. Just try to keep his needs and yours balanced, and I know you're good at that."

"Thanks Carol, you're the best."

"Oh, and if Jeannine and I ever split up, keep a tight hold on your panties because I'll be coming after you! Toodles!"

Damn. That gave me a tingle.

51 WEEKS LATER, SALVIO'S RESTAURANT

"Mr. Evan, Miss Meabh, I am so delighted to have you back again. One year ago exactly, yes? I looked it up. We have your table all ready for you. This way, please, this way!"

All smiles, Salvio led the way through empty tables to the back of the restaurant. Evan smiled too, but Meabh found it vaguely peculiar they were the first ones to dine this evening.

Meabh was shocked when they rounded the screen to find Susannah, Ian, and Sandy and Carol already seated. She turned to Evan:

"Did you know about this? You Did! I can tell! Evan? What have you got up your sleeve?"

Evan reached into his sleeve to extract a small box.

"I thought you might ask that very question," he grinned and dropped to his knee.

Meabh's hands flew to her surprised face.

Opening the box to display an elegant solitaire diamond ring he began.

"Meabh, Queen Meabh, you are the light of my life, my rescuer, my love, my everything. This last year with you has erased all the anguish I ever felt, has given me more joy than I had ever hoped for or ever will. Please, will you marry me and help me live deliberately into every adventure that comes our way?"

Meabh's hand covered her mouth as tears welled in her eyes.

"Yes, Mom! The answer is 'Yes'!" Susannah prompted in a loud whisper, eyes shining.

Evan held his breath, hoping he hadn't set them all up for a huge embarrassment.

Tears welled in Sandy's eyes.

"Yes," Meabh squeaked as she found her voice. Then again and again, each separated by a small sob, "Yes, yes, yes, yes! Get up and kiss me, you lug!"

A champagne cork popped and shot to the high ceiling triggering a clamor from behind the screen. Suddenly their corner was filled with familiar faces. Everyone from both of their departments crowded forward for hugs and handshakes.

As the hubbub settled down and everyone found their own table, Meabh drew Evan into a close hug and whispered:

"You know I hate surprises, asshole. I love you, but you're gonna to pay for this."

"Yes, my Queen, I know. And I can't wait!"

Nor did he have to wait long. After ordering, she discretely took her cell phone and excused herself. Evan seemed to become quietly anxious. Later, a small gasp escaped his lips, barely noticed in the commotion. Just around the corner, Meabh smiled as she ran the control app for his e-stim butt plug quickly up to maximum and back down, then tapped it a few more times. She returned with a broad smile, a wink and a kiss for him as she settled back down at his side. They finished the evening in the best of spirits, though Evan did seem to sit up suddenly from time to time as the app continued to send programmed signals. And when they got home...oh my!