Michael or Mac Ep. 07

"And you had no one to turn to?" Emma says, running her hand through Donna's hair.

"It's just everything was all of a sudden different. One minute he was the strange guy who sat at the back of Math, and next, he was everything. Then it was almost ripped away before I had time to understand and adjust fully."

"Oh, Donna, we will always be here to support you. We might be in a different state or country, but you will not be left alone here." Emma points to her heart.

"You will take me with you once in a while, though.... right?"

"Of course, when it's appropriate to do so."

Donna lifts her head and looks a little embarrassed. "Hey Donna, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I've just got out of a psychiatric hospital with my name on it."

Donna looks and Emma with a frown, "it's true. The psychiatric unit is called The Carter wing."

Donna wipes her eyes. "You were taken away so quickly. I didn't have time to take in what was happening."

"I know; it was the only way to limit the Damage that accident could cause. We were lucky Susan had the foresight to call Dr. Hamly."

"It must be good to have such support."

"It shows how messed up I was after my Grammy's death. To regress could be irreparable. If that happens......." I leave the answer to that for their imaginations. "So, Donna, what can we do to help you?" This question surprises her, and she doesn't know how to answer. "I tell you what, after breakfast, we will go upstairs and play some music."

Emma suddenly jumps up. "Breakfast," she shouts and runs back to what she was doing.

Donna nods, "that would be great. Can we put it online? People are screaming for more Mac."

"I would think so, but this is for us, not the rest of the world. If they want to watch, it's up to them, but turn the chat off and let people just listen."

Breakfast is done, and we make our way upstairs as Donna disappears next door to get her bits. I set up a more extensive setup than usual and am plugging it in as Donna arrives. This is different than our regular shows. There's no warm-up to the main event and no warning.

As soon as Donna is set up, she sends out the invites and goes live. She sets the camera back further than usual, taking in most of the room. She doesn't speak into the camera for a moment and goes to the fridge to get a drink. Emma sits on the couch with a mug of coffee, and I continue to set up drinking my coffee.

Once we are set, Donna turns to the camera. "Hi guys, this is a little different than usual. I'm not going into specifics, but we've had a weird couple of weeks. We are going to chill and play some music. It's up to you; you can listen in or do your own thing. I do not have the chat on, but if you want to spread the word, please do."

I put the guitar strap over my head and sit on my relaxing chair. I adjust the mike down. "This is a bit of an impromptu concert, and we will be playing just about anything that comes to mind. Nothing has been planned or pre-recorded, so please forgive any mistakes."

I play a couple of cords to check the guitar is tunned and look across at Emma. A smile appears on her face as the first notes of brown-eyed girl come out.

As the song ends, I reach over to the keyboard, press twenty-one, and blend into Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight. My eyes close momentarily as the opening rift washes over me. They open, and I look at Emma as I start to sing.....

"It's late in the evening

She's wondering what clothes to wear

She puts on her makeup

And brushes her long blonde hair...."

I continue to go through records like I did when I thought I was annoying Donna next door. I blend into The Best of You, Foo Fighters, Linkin Park, and Green Day. Then I go a little pop with some Ed Sheeran, and for my final song, I do a song that I played with for a while and didn't think I had the voice for it, Adele's, when we were young. I moved across to the keyboard and started to play. Emma's eyes open wide as she loves this song and had once asked me to learn it.

I start to sing...."Everybody loves the things you do

From the way you talk

To the way you move..."

I look into the loving eyes of my girlfriend as I navigate through the song. When I get to the chorus, I don't hold back......

"You look like a movie

You sound like a song

My God this reminds me, of when we were young....."

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and just let go.....

"Let me photograph you in this light

In case it is the last time

That we might be exactly like we were

Before we realized...."

When I come to the verse, I open my eyes and see Emma and Donna with their hands over their open mouths, staring at me. I give them a smile between verses and again take a deep breath as I get to the chorus.

As the song comes to a close, both girls get out of their seats and rush over. "Christ, Mac, that was incredible," Donna says.

"When did you learn that one, baby?" Emma says. Both girls have forgotten we are live.

"I had dabbled with it when it was first out but never thought I had the voice to pull it off."

"Are you kidding me?" Donna says. "You have one of the best voices I've heard." Emma nods her head in agreement. "Hey, can we do one last song?"

I roll my eyes. "Which one?" I ask, thinking she was going to ask for One again.

"Is there any chance you can do the song you did at Thanksgiving in the school concert?" I closed my eyes, knowing she had just let the cat out of the bag. "What?" Donna says, seeing the look on my face.

I say nothing and hope people didn't catch on. I look at Emma, and she has the same look I had. "Emma, would you like to sing with me?" I think she catches on and nods and sits down next to me. We move the microphone between us, and I start to play, No One.

Emma puts her arm around me and rests her head against mine. Emma starts to sing.....

"I just want you close

Where you can stay forever

You can be sure......"

As the song goes on, we relax and enjoy singing together. I'm not sure what ramifications Donna's slip will have, but there are a couple of weeks between now and then.

As the song winds down, Donna walks toward her laptop and says, "Okay guys, that's all for today. I'm sure we can do something between Christmas and New-year, and I will let you know in good time. See ya." She presses a key on her keyboard and turns it off. She then turns with an I'm so sorry look on her face. "Mac, I'm so sorry; it just slipped out in the excitement." I didn't know what to say. I'm not sure I'm ready for the people around me to know who I am.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I could feel Donna's eyes boring into me, waiting for a reaction, but I didn't have one. "It's okay, but not okay. You need to think about what you are saying with other people listening." I hear myself saying the words, but I do not believe a word.

"Okay. Will you forgive me one slip?" Donna says, looking worried.

"Only if it is one," I say, trying not to sound concerned. The problem is I'm starting to feel worried. I know many people in NC watch because of local interest. I also know that most of the school watches Donna's live shows. I have to walk downstairs and get away for a moment.

Paps looks at me when I walk into the kitchen. "Hey Mac," he says, still reading his paper. He looks up when I don't answer. "Christ, what happened?" He asks when he sees the look on my face.

I walk to the fridge, get myself a glass of orange juice, and down it in one. I take a deep breath and then say, "Donna let slip on her live feed that Emma and I sang No One at the Thanksgiving concert."

"And why's that a problem?"

"Because I did it as Michael."

"Ahh, that might need a little explaining then."

"I didn't mean to," Donna shouts from the bottom of the stairs. I hadn't heard her and Emma walk down.

The front door slams, and I look at Paps and then Emma. She didn't look that impressed. "I'm not the one that announced live online that I am Michael."

"I know, but you could see upstairs that she was upset with herself. You could have used a little more tact."

"I thought I was by walking out and not showing her I was falling apart inside."

Emma goes to speak but chooses instead to walk over. She wraps her arms around me and says, "if it does cause any problems, we will face them together."

"I'm counting on it," I say, relaxing a little as I feel Emma's love. "You know that the only reason I didn't get affected by the crash was because of you."

"I'm sure you would have been fine without me," she says, playing her part down.

"If you hadn't snapped me out of my regression, those two idiots would be dead."

Emma laughed nervously at what I said. "No....sur..." She stops to think, and her eyes go wide. "Their car caught on fire just after you pulled them out."

I nod, "the fire caused the second regression. Again, you being there gave me something to focus on."

Emma has no answer, and she has to accept my words. She relaxes, holding me again, beginning to see how important she is to me.

******

The next couple of days are taken up with shopping and enjoying the build-up to Christmas. We don't see Donna, and Emma tells me she hasn't heard from her either. I go next door to see her on Christmas Eve, but she's not home.

"She's over Mitch's place. She's worried you'll not want her to hang around, so she's doing what Donna does best, hiding from her problems."

"It's okay; I'll see her tomorrow and talk to her."

"Hasn't she told you? She's spending the afternoon with Mitch's family."

I let out an exasperated breath, "will she be here tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, she's promised to open her presents with me before Mitch comes to pick her up at eleven."

"Okay, don't tell her, but I'll come over at ten to give her a gift." I smile at her. "I'm sorry, Terri, it looks like I've ruined your Christmas."

"Rubbish, she usually does something to take the shine off the day. This year I have something else to look forward to." Terri smiles at me. "So, I'll see you tomorrow Mac?"

"Uhh, yes, Terri. See you tomorrow." I give her what seems to be a far too regular hug. As I pull away, she kisses me on the cheek. "God, you ladies are starting to take some liberties." I smile and walk away, shaking my head.

I'm still smiling when I get back to the kitchen, "what are you smiling at, Mac?"

"Did you get everything sorted with Donna," Emma asks as she comes down the stairs?

"Umm, the women in my life are starting to take too many liberties," I say to Paps. "No, she wasn't in," I answer Emma.

"What did Terri do now?" Emma says, smiling at my discomfort.

"Oh, it was something and nothing. She kissed me on the cheek."

"Is my boyfriend getting himself a middle-aged harem?" Emma is enjoying this far too much. She kisses me on the lips and then asks, "have you finished all your shopping? I haven't seen you buy a thing."

"Yes, I've bought most when I went to Boston and the rest online." Emma forms an O with her lips in response.

We have spent the last couple of days between the two homes doing what Dr. Hamly instructed. Nothing new; keep everything familiar and comfortable. The only blip was Donna, but I feel that it didn't let it get on top of me.

The day passes uneventfully. We do a couple of chores for both Paps and Kim. The new truck nearly drives itself as we pick up some last-minute things from Walmart.

As we sit, having supper with Paps, I ask, "are you going to midnight mass tonight?"

"Yeah, why, want to come?" He replies sarcastically.

Since my parents passed, I've never been a big one for religion, but something inside me needs to say, 'thank you.' "Yes, I would love to come."

Paps look at Emma with raised eyebrows. Both had witnessed a meltdown years ago when I blamed God for everything.

Emma grabs my hand. "I think I would like to go this year. My parents will be there."

I look into her eyes. My eyes glaze over, "I just need to thank someone or something for having you back in my life."

She smiles at me and touches my cheek. "I was thinking the same thing."

It's quarter past eleven, and we are sitting in the local church. Emma and I sit near the back. Paps is nearer the front because he is doing one of the readings. We have had to arrive early so Paps can go over the sermon order with the Reverend. I have put my glasses and hat on because I am feeling a little exposed as we watch the congregation walk in. Many glance our way but don't recognize us. Others double-take, and the look of recognition takes over.

It's then that the White family turns up. The Sheriff, with his wife, walks in. His brother and his wife closely followed him. A minute later, Josh steps in. He glances over at us and double takes to ensure he isn't seeing things.

"Dam, I forgot they would be here tonight," Emma whispers. As the words leave her mouth, Josh stops. He pauses for a moment before turning back towards us. "What's he want now?" Emma says, squeezing my hand.

"Ummm," Josh says, trying to find the words he wants. I can see the faded bruising down one side of his face. His original cast has gone, and his other arm is now cast. His torso has some sort of brace on that is protecting his ribs. "I just want to say......thank you. I behaved like a jealous idiot and paid the price. You could have left both of us in the car but showed you were the bigger man by helping us when others stood and watched." He held out his good hand. I looked at Emma, then stood and shook his hand. "Thanks, Michael," he finally says as he turns.

He's stopped in his tracks by his mother, who is standing right behind him. "Josh, would you like to introduce me to the man that saved your life?"

"Sorry, Ma. This is Michael Walker. His grandfather is Mr. Walker. Michael, this is my Mama, Iris White."

"A pleasure to meet you, Michael." She says, offering her hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. White," I say. "This is my girlfriend, Emma."

"Yes, you're Kim's girl. We've met at a couple socials." Emma smiles and nods at the lady in response. The two go back to the front, and when they get there, Mrs. White says something to her husband. Whatever she says causes both the Sheriff and Mr. White to turn towards us. Both men nod a recognition and turn back to the front.

The rest of the service passes without much incident. The Vicar wishes us all a happy Christmas to mark the end of the service. We sit waiting for Paps to find us and then make our way out.

"Ahh, the Walker family," the guy in the dog collar says.

Paps stops, "Hector, this is my grandson, Michael, and you know Emma."

"Yes, happy Christmas, Emma. Michael, you haven't been here for a while."

I give the Vicar an appraising look and take a deep breath to suppress what I want to say. "Yes, Vicar."

The man obviously knows not to press because he turns back to Paps. "Thank you for doing the reading at such short notice. Mrs. Rider has got a touch of flu." A couple more of the ladies from the church come over to join the conversation.

"No problem, Hector."

I'm getting a little bored and look out toward the parking lot. I let out an exasperated breath. Emma turns to look at what I have seen. "Looks like the Mac fan club is back in full swing," she says as she spots Sheriff White standing next to his SUV.

I walk over to the Sheriff. "Sheriff White, how are you, sir?"

"Michael, Emma," he says, tipping his hat to Emma. "Son, my family would like to thank you for what you did for my nephew. I must say the last couple of months has been testing. But he seems to have got whatever it was out of his system and turned over a new leaf."

"That's good to hear, Sheriff."

"I did come to your place before to thank you, but no one was home."

"Yeah, we were out of town recovering."

"One of my deputies did say you had to be sedated at the scene."

"The accident did drudge up some bad memories."

"Of course, I understand, Son." Sheriff White says as he pats me on the shoulder, turns, and walks back toward his truck.

"He's still not getting my endorsement for Sheriff," Paps says from behind me.

I can't help but smile. "Are you done talking, Paps?"

"Yes, Mac, let's get home." He turns back to the priest. "Merry Christmas, Hector." The priest nods towards Paps and waves before we turn and head for the truck.

Christmas morning dawns, and strangely I am awake before sunrise. I listen to Emma sleeping with a usual appendage draped over me. My mind goes back to last Christmas. Paps had sprung a surprise vacation on me. He was fed up with me moping around the house even more than usual. Christmas has always been the most challenging part of the year. I often walked past Emma's house on Christmas morning. On the premiss of taking Susan her gift. My one Christmas wish would be to see Emma with a smile on her face. One year she was outside on a new pair of inline skates. The joy on her face as she glided around made the whole day more tolerable.

Anyway, Paps sprung a trip to San Andreas. If you don't know, San Andreas is an island off Nicaragua. The Colombian island is excellent for relaxing and getting away from life. We spent a week just soaking up the sun and just getting away from the hustle that is Christmas; how my life has changed.

I close my eyes again and drift off. The next thing I know, I am being jumped on. "Come on, Mac, get up." Emma is sitting on me.

I pull her down for a Christmas kiss, "good morning, beautiful. Happy Christmas." Emma calms for a moment as she kisses me back, but the excitement of the day soon takes over again, and she begs me to get up.

I walk downstairs, and it's surprisingly quiet. The Christmas tree lights are on, and the smell of Emma cooking in the kitchen hits me at the top of the stairs.

"Sit," Emma says as I walk into the kitchen. Not to be one that wants to let the lady down, I quickly take my seat. Glancing across at Paps, I can see he is in the same boat. A minute later, a glass of orange juice is placed in front of me, followed by a plate with scrambled egg on toast, a couple of sausages, and beans. "That should keep you until dinner," Emma says as she sits down next to me with her plate.

Breakfast is done, and I run upstairs and get my trainers on before picking up the small gift I got at the gift shop. I head out the front door and walk next door to see Donna. I ring the bell, and an eager Donna answers the door.

Her face drops, "what do you want, Mac?" She says. "I've said I'm sorry and just want to have a happy Christmas. Can't this wait till after......"

I hold my hand up and feel a little awkward. I've always find stopping people talking rude. I hand her the box.

"What's this?" She huffs and slams the door.

I walk away, not sure what just happened.

Donna walks back into the living room, where Terri is waiting to give out this year's gifts. She only gets every other year with Donna and tries to make the most of it. "Who was it, Donna?"

"Mac, he gave me this. I think he's tryin...., I'm not sure what he's trying."

"Well, open it." Donna shrugs and pulls the lid off the box. She looks in, and her bottom lip starts to quiver. "What is it, love?"

She looks up at Terri with tears forming in her eyes. She tips the box's contents into her hand. "It it's a friendship bracelet." Tears start to flow.

She gets up and runs out the front door. "Donna," Terri shouts. "You haven't put any shoes on," she says to an empty room.

I'm just explaining what happens next door to Emma when Donna blasts through the front door. She launches herself at me and pulls me into a bear hug. I'm not sure if Donna is laughing or crying, but that question gets answered when she lifts her head.

With tears streaming down her face, she says in the strangest voice, "I thought I had lost you. I thought I had messed up big time, and you wanted to tell me to stay away."