Mike and Jen

Mike got a beer and mingled a little. When people asked about Jen, he said Jen got hung up at work. However, after a while the questioning got boring and it started to annoy him. The more people asked, the more he resented his wife. Yes, the game was for both of them and Jen was playing it, but was it really for both of them? It didn't feel like it anymore. It felt like it's for Jen and he was just enjoying the breadcrumbs. "I need to clear my head," Mike said in a low voice as he decided to go somewhere else.

Mike went back downstairs to the playroom. The babysitters were feeding the kids a late lunch of hot dogs and mac & cheese. Mike didn't want to be a helicopter parent but, at the same time, he didn't enjoy what was happening to him the more people asked him about Jen. So, he grabbed a hot dog and went out to the porch next to the playroom. He read his Kindle while eating the hot dog and sipping his beer.

Around mid-afternoon Anna came outside. DJ was with her. "Daddy, let's go to the beach," she said, tugging his arm. DJ tugged his other arm. Mike laughed and got up. As he was leaving the house, Mike saw Allie talking with RH. Mike didn't know him well, only that his parents loved Happy Days and named him Ron Howard. No wonder the dude went by his initials.

RH had separated from his wife a few months ago. He and Allie were flirting. Mike wasn't surprised as RH was definitely a Scott-type looks-wise. "Well good," Mike thought. RH was a nice enough guy. On top of that he wore a Mets jersey. Maybe he and Allie could hit it off and help each other get over their failing marriages. That would also help Mike forget his ideas.

Approaching Allie, Mike said "I thought I'd take the kids to the beach."

"Oh okay, that sounds like a good idea," Allie said.

"I can handle it," Mike offered, giving RH a slight nod. He didn't want to interrupt RH making moves on Allie, which the man appreciated.

"I'll go," Allie said, putting her beer down. "See you later RH," she said with a smile.

"There's a bonfire later," RH said.

"Cool beans," Allie said, giving him a smile and lingering look before turning away.

Mike and Allie agreed to meet outside by the dunes in 15 minutes. He took Anna to their bedroom to get dressed. Mike was happy he got a room. In the lottery, he and Anna got a bedroom, one of the nice ones too. Mike smirked at the reason why luck fell on his lap during the electronic raffle. As he put Anna in her bathing suit, he thought about Allie. He could have done something to help her, but he didn't. He thought selfishly, and now he feels guilty. He had hoped that by only slightly rigging the game Allie and DJ wouldn't be screwed over. But that wasn't the case. They had to sleep in cots hostel-style in the playroom downstairs.

"I'll make it up to her later," he thought even though no one had any idea that Mike changed the odds to guarantee himself a room for Anna. Mike put a shirt on as his mind drifted to Jen. He wondered what she was doing. She hasn't texted him since yesterday. Mike knows that Jen is playing the game as Frank's girlfriend, but it hurts when she abandons him like that. It makes him feel alone and desperate, but also incredibly turned on. However, today, his mind wasn't in the game.

"Are you ready, Anna Havana?" Mike asked his adoring daughter who happily hopped around the bedroom in excitement. Mike checked his mobile one last time, no messages from Jen. He sighed and put the phone in the night stand. He will check on it later tonight.

As they left the room the mobile buzzed. His heart leaped when he saw it was a text from Jen. It said "Hey baby. Did you make it okay? Having fun? How's Anna? Seen Allie yet?" Mike took a deep breath as his hand shook in excitement and he cock was hard as a rock. Mike thought about Allie, he was about to meet her and he didn't want her to see him like this. And so he used the tricks his therapist gave him and calmed himself down.

That did the trick. Mike lost the erection. Wanting to keep it that way, he decided to wait until later to text Jen back. There was another reason he didn't text back immediately. In her text, he sensed Jen's need for an update on Anna. That made sense, probably all mothers were wired that way. They have a need to know the whereabouts of their children at all times.

Well, Jen made her choice. She was with her boyfriend in New York, instead of here in the Hamptons with her husband and daughter. She was getting fucked and cumming on Frank's cock. So if she had to wait for an update on Anna, too bad.

Mike sighed as he knew that was unfair. After all, he used to encourage her to stay in the city and meet Frank's Broadway friends. Still, she didn't have to enjoy it so much. They have barely seen each other for the past month. This was the first family party they were invited to this year and she ditched him and Anna to go fuck Frank. Whatever happened to not spending too much time with him? "Whatever," he said as he put the phone down and walked away.

The water was too cold for swimming but that didn't stop Anna and DJ from splashing at the edge of the surf and making sand castles. Mike managed to put lotion on Anna before she ran off with DJ. Allie sprayed lotion on DJ, but wasn't as concerned about sunburn given Allie's religious sunscreen appliance on her son. She wasn't worried too much about herself either. She applied her religious sunscreen philosophy to her as well.

Mike and Allie sat next to each on the sand under an umbrella as they watched the kids play. She wore a short stringy sundress with a bikini underneath.

"Heard from Jen?" Allie asked.

"She texted me."

Allie heard something in Mike's voice. She asked, "can I see?"

"I left the phone back in the room," Mike replied

Allie studied Mike for a moment. "Why do you keep doing it if you hate it?" she asked.

Mike shrugged but didn't say anything. Allie frowned at him. Feeling annoyed, she said sarcastically, "You know Mike, it's easier to have a conversation if you actually talk instead of grunting all the time."

Mike frowned back at her, stung by her rebuke. This was the Allie he knew. But while Mike was anti-social to the point of being a recluse, he didn't want to be impolite. He said "Sorry. I guess it's a defence mechanism. When I don't have a good answer."

"Most times people don't have good answers," Allie told him. "That's why we talk. To work things out."

"Yeah," Mike said with another shrug, feeling chastised. At least this time he added yeah to his shrug.

"You know she's just dicking with you," Allie said. "I don't get you bubble boy," Allie said with a laugh. "You want it, but you don't want it."

Again, Mike shrugged but didn't respond. Allie shook her head but didn't give him shit this time.

"So did you text her back?" she asked.

"No. I haven't," Mike admitted.

"What?" Allie said, her eyes going wide with surprise and alarm. "You've been here for hours and haven't called Jen to say you're okay? She's probably worried sick."

"I doubt that," Mike said without much care as he gestured around to showcase that Jen was nowhere to be seen.

"God Mike, don't be an ass," Allie said disapprovingly.

Allie's judgmental retort stung. Mike knew she was right. He had to be more forgiving to Jen. After all, she was trying. "I'll be right back," he said as he went to get his mobile, came back, and typed a message to Jen. He still felt raw about it so his text was pretty unemotional. It said "We got here okay. At the beach now. Ocean too cold for swimming but Anna is making sandcastles with DJ."

Jen didn't see the text until later. At the moment she was being pampered by Frank's stylists completely oblivious of Mike and Anna's existence.

Mike and Allie were silent for long moments as they watched the kids play. Finally Allie said "So you asked about Darren."

"Yeah," Mike said, turning to her.

"I wanted to ask you about him," Allie said. "I don't get him. Maybe you do."

"Okay," Mike said. He waited for Allie to explain.

"So yeah, it's about his fantasies," Allie said, answering Mike's question from before. She was talking about Darren's BBC fantasies and his desire to bed married white wives. "It's made a wall between us."

"I thought you worked that out," Mike said.

"We opened our marriage," Allie said with a nod. "But the sex isn't enough for him. He wants to get other white girls pregnant. Like Stacy. That's fucked up, Mike."

Mike nodded. He understood how it was with black bulls like Darren and Deshawn. The turn on for them. He was on the other side of that equation, so he didn't understand it perfectly.

Reading his thoughts, Allie shrugged and said glumly "No offence."

"That's okay. It is fucked up," Mike agreed.

"So. Can he change?" she asked.

Mike thought about his own fantasies. Can he change? "I'm not sure," he said honestly, answering for both himself and Darren. "I think everyone is capable of changing, providing the right circumstances."

"That's so fucked up," Allie said, frustrated and angry. "I don't want my husband getting other girls pregnant. Is that too much to ask?"

"No," Mike said honestly.

"What about you?" Allie said challengingly. "You want other men to get Jen pregnant?"

Mike's cheeks reddened. "It's a fantasy," he said defensively.

"But it happened twice," she pointed out.

Mike's face clouded over. They both knew the first time ended in a miscarriage for Jen and almost death for Mike. "Sorry," Allie said.

"The first time was an accident," Mike said. "The second time, we weren't together."

"Yeah but, are you still playing that fantasy?" Allie asked, although now her voice carried less of an edge.

"Allie, look, I said it was fucked up," Mike said evasively. "It doesn't make me happy to know Anna is not my kid. But I still love her," Mike responded in earnest. Mike will never be over the fact that Anna is Drums' child. He hasn't fully forgiven Jen for that either, and might never will. "Don't you have fantasies?" He asked to turn the question on her.

Allie gave Mike a withering, derisive look. "Do you seriously think you're good enough to hear about my sexual fantasies?" She blurted with an air of superiority.

It reminded Mike of college. Back then she gave him that look a lot. Mike felt small and awkward. Like the way he felt around Allie back in college. She was the uber-popular chick and he was the shy maths geek. Jen was super-popular too. But Jen was bubbly and friendly. She wanted everyone to like her, even the non-populars. Allie was feisty and aloof. She didn't give a fuck if you liked her or not. Of course, most people did, especially men.

After a moment Allie's expression softened. She said "Sorry. I guess that's my defence mechanism."

Mike gave Allie a shrug but didn't respond. They sat that way for a while, not talking, watching the kids play in the sand.

"So anyway," Allie said to break the silence.

"Darren probably can't change," Mike said. "Maybe you can make it work if you find a middle ground."

"Like what?" She asked with curiosity

"Something that'll make it feel real for Darren. But not really be real." He said as he thought about the multiple times when he dreamt about Jen getting pregnant by another man.

"I don't know," Allie said gloomily. "I think he wants it to be real."

"If he loves you, he'll meet you halfway," Mike said encouragingly.

"Do you think Darren still loves me?" Allie asked hopefully.

"I don't know Allie," Mike said honestly. "I haven't talked to Darren in a while."

Allie looked distressed at his answer. She said "You know Mike, most people would say 'yeah Allie, Darren definitely loves you. He just needs time.' Something like that."

Feeling like he put his foot in his mouth, Mike stammered "Sorry, I -."

"That's okay," Allie said with a humourless laugh. She looked sad and resigned, but perhaps a little grateful too. "I'm tired of bullshit. Maybe it's time to face reality. No more bullshit." She went silent, looking contemplative.

Mike felt like an idiot. He hadn't helped the situation at all. It was at awkward times like this he didn't know what to say.

They were silent for a long time, watching the kids play, watching the sun set. "Do you think you can change?" Allie asked as she looked at Mike

Mike remained quiet for a moment thinking about what to answer. This is the first time he has had to consider that possibility. Can he change? Can he live as something else than a cuckold? Can he escape his dark desires?

Mike looked at Allie's eyes as he tried to find an answer to his questions. "Yeah," was all he said.

The pair looked at each other for what it felt like an eternity. Finally Mike stood up and said "We better get the kids dinner."

"Yeah, good idea," Allie said. She stood up too and shook the sand off. Still feeling sad, she said "I don't feel like going back to the house. There's a pizza place down the road."

"Sure," Mike said. They corralled the kids and the 4 of them walked to the pizza joint.

As they shared a cheese pizza, Mike said, "RH's a nice guy."

Allie knew where Mike was going with this, but her mind wasn't in it at the moment. "Nice try, bubble boy. But I'm not looking for a weekend fling."

"Doesn't sound like the Allie I know," Mike said, giving her a grin.

"What?" Allie said with a surprised laugh.

"The fuck-the-world Allie. The 'I'm-better-than-everyone-else Allie. The I'm-not-afraid-of-anything Allie. The feisty Allie. The in-your-face Allie. The protective Allie."

"Thanks a lot. You make me sound like such a nice person," Allie lamented.

"I'm just saying, the Allie I know would say 'fuck Darren,' and then go after whatever she wants. Without hesitation. Without fears."

"I don't know Mike," Allie said doubtfully. She knew he was trying to cheer her up but she wasn't feeling it. She felt sad and resigned, tired, defeated even. "I don't think that Allie exists anymore."

Mike felt sad too. "That's too bad. I like that Allie, and I miss her. She always brought a smile to my face and made me wish I could be as fearless as her," Mike said. To his surprise, Mike realised what he said was true. He has always admired Allie. She never hid herself like he did and still does.

Allie stared at Mike. Then, she looked down as her cheeks got a bit pinkish. "Okay, whatever," she said with a grin.

It was dark when they left the pizza joint. The sandy sidewalk was lit by a few scattered lamp posts. Just ahead, about halfway to the house, were a few tough guys hanging out next to a beat up Dodge Challenger. They looked like day labourers, heavily muscled and tattooed. They were drinking beer and smoking weed. Allie was on their side of the sidewalk holding DJ and Anna's hands. All the men hungrily eyed Allie in her short sundress. She felt a tingle of fear and clutched the kids' hands tighter.

Mike moved so he was between the men and Allie and the kids. One of the men saw it and shouted out "Don't disrespect us man, we ain't gonna do nothing."

Mike said, "I've got a woman and 2 kids. What would you do?"

"We ain't no hoods man," another man said. Mike nodded at him and put his hand on Allie's back, urging her forward.

"What would you've done if they did something?" Allie asked as they arrived at the house.

"I don't know," Mike said honestly. Allie stared at Mike for a moment. Then she smiled and shook her head. "God, you are quite something, bubble boy," she claimed with a grin as she gave a bump in the shoulder.

Anna and DJ ran down to the playroom as soon as they got into the house. All the kids were there and the babysitters were setting up the cots in rows like a hostel. Anna begged Mike to sleep downstairs with the other kids. Relenting, Mike said to Allie "I guess you can have the bedroom. I'll sleep with Anna and DJ down here."

"We'll see how it goes," Allie said.

Mike gave her a look and said, "you can have the bedroom with RH."

Allie laughed and replied, "we'll see."

Mike saw her walk away and smiled. Allied seemed less depressed now. She had more pep in her step.

Despite their excitement, all the kids were soon fast asleep, exhausted from a day of playing in the sun and water. It was just after 7pm. Mike remembered the meeting he had to attend. He nearly forgot after spending the day with Allie and the kids. Mike approached Allie who was about to leave the area and asked, "would you mind watching Anna for about an hour? I've got to meet someone. For work."

"What? Now?" Allie said, surprised.

"Yeah I've been doing some consulting," Mike said evasively.

"Yeah, okay," Allie said. She gave Mike an inquisitive look but didn't pursue it.

Mike left the house and headed for the bar that was agreed upon. Jasmine Kelly was waiting for him inside the place, looking as dapper as she has always looked. The pair greeted each other and soon after they handled their business.

"Why did you never show me this side of yours, Mike?" Jasmine asked as they were leaving the bar.

"I don't like people to know this side of me," he said in earnest.

Jasmine stared at Mike, studying his face. The man was far more powerful and influential than he lets everyone know. His work at CATF, whilst secretive, has reached her ears during the campaign. People worshipped Mike at that facility. Everything he did was treated as sacred, his words were written down like prophecies. He was a god among men. And yet, outside of that place people saw him as a weak and indecisive man who tolerated his wife's affairs. She knew that Mike wasn't that indecisive man, but she didn't know to the extent she was right.

"Jen doesn't know about you, does she?" Jasmine asked

Mike wasn't sure what she meant. Jen knows a lot about him, probably more than anyone else. "She knows enough," he replied.

Jasmine sighed and closed her eyes in frustration. This is the part about Mike she doesn't like. "You have never told Jen who you really are because you're afraid of what she might think of you. You think that she is so above you that you need to be a little obedient boy to keep her around. All your fantasies, all your games. You pretend they are yours, but it's all a facade to keep someone who only sees you as their stepping stone."

Mike opened his eyes wide in shock at her comments. "How dare you say that? Jen is doing what I want," he hissed.

Jasmine brushed his arm in a reassuring way. "No. She isn't. She has never done what you want. She has done what she wants because you thought that's the only way to keep her. Wasn't she just like that in college as well?"

Mike didn't have an answer. Jasmine was right. She has always slept around even when she was dating Mike before the game existed.

"One day someone will see you for who you are and accept you for it, and then what? What will you tell Jen?"

"What? You think you are that person?" Mike asked dismissively with a half laugh to hide his pain.

Jasmine shook her head. "No. I had my time with you, and I moved on," she said with a kind smile as she cupped Mike's face with her hands and looked him straight in the eyes. "But someone will see you and love you for who you really are, and then you'll have to choose what you want."

Jasmine hugged Mike and soon after she left the bar. Mike stood there in shock. What does Jasmine know about his relationship with Jen? She never got it. She was never into the game either. Then, he understood why. Back in those days he was so hurt about what Jen did that he didn't fully understand what Jasmine was doing for him, for them. He gets it now.

A tear rolled down his cheek as his hands quiver in pain. It's a pain like he has never felt before. Mike was shaking, he could barely breathe. He willed himself to the car as he was hyperventilating. That's when his phone buzzed. Allie was asking if everything went alright and when he was coming back. Mike texted him he was on his way, turned on the car, and headed back to the house.