Milly Scott Pt. 02: The Artist and Her Young Lover

I decided that I should go to see my parents, with whom I'd had no contact for over ten years. Jane drove me over and said that she'd come to the house with me. The two of them must have seen us arriving and came to the door. My father had clearly still got a temper, "What do you want here and who is she?"

"Dad, this is Jane, my friend's daughter, and she kindly drove me here. I came to see how you were?"

"Well, unless you tell me you're not a fucking pervert any longer, go away!"

"I'm still a lesbian, dad, and will be all of my days."

"And you'll burn in hell!" He slammed the door.

Jane was stunned and as we walked back to the car said, "That went well." I laughed, a full-throated laugh.

"Thank you for everything Jane. You gave me so much with your visits and for years I regretted not having my own kids. I'd have wanted them to be like you and your sister."

She punched my shoulder, "Liar, you wanted them to be like me, who would want a kid like her?"

I would, but I kept that thought to myself. "Can you stop at the car spares place, please?"

Going home

The next morning we put our bags in the boot, Fiona's keyboard was on the back seat and she fixed her bike onto the rack that I'd bought the previous day. There were lots of hugs as we said goodbye and as they were distracted I fixed something else.

"Thanks, Jess, Jane. Tell Victoria thanks as well. I'll look after Fiona or maybe the other way round." I waved and turned to Fiona, "Catch." She caught the car keys that I tossed. She looked puzzled and I pointed to the L plates. I looked at the others as I got into the passenger seat and grinned. Fiona got in and adjusted the seat and mirrors.

"Am I covered on the insurance?"

"Called them yesterday, all sorted. How many lessons have you had?"

"Seven and had a couple more planned that I've had to cancel."

"Okay then. Different route home, we'll avoid the motorways where we can. It'll take longer but there's no rush is there."

She grinned at me, "No. Thanks, Milly."

Jane was laughing as we drove off.

It was a bit nerve-racking as we crossed the city, but as we got out into the countryside Fiona gained in confidence and so did I. I didn't speak much; just let her concentrate until we got to the motorway where I took over.

I told her that Jenny had arranged for some advanced driving lessons and taken me to a skid pan. It had improved my confidence and my driving. After talking for half an hour Fiona found an oldies CD and we spent the next hour singing at the tops of our voices. I loved it.

We had a quiet spell and I reflected on things that had been said. There was some truth to Jess's fears, Fiona was becoming more than my friend's daughter, but it was stupid and I needed to get a grip of myself. In reality, she was lifting me and without her, I would have slipped to a very bad place. She was infectious.

We stopped for a bite to eat and sat at a picnic table to enjoy the sun. Fiona made me forget the misery; maybe she was brighter than all of us because she seemed to know what was best for me.

We unpacked her stuff when we arrived home and got her properly set up in the guest room. I asked her to set up her keyboard in the sunroom where I'd be able to hear her play. We walked down to the pub, arm in arm, to get something to eat. The fight with Jess had been horrible, but I think that we'd, at least partly, resolved that and now the two of us were together for a few weeks at least, and that gave me hope.

As we ate I watched Fiona and she knew that I was doing so. She'd grown up so much over the years and was developing into a beautiful young lady. She was also obviously clever and very caring. She grinned at me and when I smiled back, I knew that I was going to enjoy her company.

Over the next couple of days, Fiona went out on her bike and gradually increased the length of her rides. She came back smiling but worn out. She told me that she felt so much better for the exercise and enjoyed the new scenery. It was good to see her happy, but while she was away I was at my worst and would spend a good deal of time crying or simply just sad. I was sure that she knew how I was and that she thought it would help me in the long run.

She liked the climbing wall because it was a different challenge. I liked to go with her and always took my book, but I rarely even opened it, instead, I would sit with a coffee and watch her. She was so keen on climbing that she'd bought herself some proper shoes and a pair of trousers that stopped just below her knees and fitted tight. Seeing her stretch for the next hand or foothold emphasised her physique and I realised that she had a very well toned and muscled body. Each time she started she tried to improve and the effort that she was making could clearly be seen. I needed to be careful because watching her was enthralling.

Fiona would play the piano and I'd just sit and listen. On the third afternoon, she suggested that I start sketching whilst she played. She was right of course, somehow it inspired me to draw and I found that I stroked in time with her playing. I drew her at her keyboard. She admired it and then I put it away, it was mine and I was keeping it for myself.

We drifted along over those next few weeks, walking, talking and cooking together. I missed Jenny dreadfully, I'd loved her very much and I knew that if Fiona had not been with me, my life would have been bleak.

Summer ends

Jess put Fiona under some pressure to return home at least a week before school restarted, but she resisted. It was on a Thursday morning that we set off. I had a heavy heart but tried to be cheerful and we had a few laughs during the drive. Jane greeted us with open arms and a cheery smile. I could see that Jess had some concerns, but she didn't voice them, at least not to me.

It had been a somewhat strained evening or so I felt. I decided that I'd leave the following morning and they seemed surprised that I wanted to go, but I made up some excuse. They escorted me to the car where I received hugs and kisses. Fiona hung back until last and gave me a big hug, as she did so she whispered, "Call me often and any time you feel low. If you need anything, remember I'm your friend and I'll come."

I got about a mile before I pulled over to into a lay-by and sobbed. I was going to miss her terribly and if she'd stayed much longer I may have done or said something stupid. I'd been back on the road for about an hour when my phone rang. It was Jane, "Are you okay Milly?"

"Yes, just a bit sad. I'm going to miss your sister. I don't know how I'd have coped if it hadn't been for her."

"Your baby sitter has locked herself in our bedroom and is in floods of tears. I'm trying to keep the adults at bay; she's going to miss you too."

I don't think that I had dry eyes all the way home. The house seemed empty and far less cheerful. There was no keyboard and an empty seat at dinner.

I changed the bed that Fiona had used the next morning and found her note under the pillow.

"My dearest Milly,

Thank you for letting me spend time with you. I wanted to assist and comfort you by staying. I hope that I was able to do that. But you helped me as well, it allowed me to grow up and mature a little. You changed from the adopted aunt, that you had been for years, into my friend, a good friend and I hope that we can remain friends for a long time. Call me if you need a chat or anything else.

Lots of love Fiona, X

My tears had fallen onto the page and some of the ink had run before I got to the end. I don't know if she'd left a nightshirt deliberately or not, but I took it to my room and put it under my pillow. I found another shirt and a couple of pairs of pants in the laundry hamper. I'd keep them for when she came back. I hoped that it wouldn't be too long.

After dinner, the phone rang. It was her. "Milly, thanks for the gift, I found it today. It's lovely and I'm wearing it now." We chatted for a while and I thanked her for the note, I didn't mention the nightshirt. I'd seen the bracelet when I was out shopping, one of those modern ones that you could add charms to. I'd added some stones; a cube with the letter 'F' and a small heart.

That night I pulled the T-shirt from under my pillow and buried my face in it sobbing. I'd lost Jenny and Fiona had helped me through that and now she was gone as well. I wanted her back here with me. If she was here my world would be okay, but she was gone to where she had to be. I pulled the shirt on and slept in it for a week before I had to launder it and I wore it every night for weeks.

During one of our regular conversations, she told me that a teacher had challenged her about wearing the bracelet to school. When she refused to remove it, she'd been threatened with detention. She'd been in detention three times that week before they relented.

Half-term

I'd struggled for a few weeks until I resolved to get on with my life. But I missed Jenny and remained sad a lot of the time.

In early October Jess called me and after the usual enquires about health, work and an exchange of gossip, she changed the subject. "Milly, Jane's been badgering me for a few days, the two of them want to come up for a couple of days at half-term, to keep you company."

"I'd love to have them, it'll be a pleasure." I whooped with delight as soon as I put the phone down.

Two hours later I got a simple text - 'see you soon, x.' My reply was equally brief - 'great x.'

I drove to Penrith to meet their train and I fidgeted in my seat all the way. I was early, but it didn't matter, I stood on the platform watching the arrivals board hopping from leg to leg. The train pulled in and Jane ran into my arms, Fiona stood back watching until Jane let me go. Then she scooped me up spun me around and I heard her whisper, "Thank god!"

The next three days had me behaving like a teenager, actually, all three of us behaved like teenagers, but at least they had an excuse - idiotic fun, laughs and lots of cuddles.

I was sad to drop them off back at the station, but the time that they'd been with me had been marvellous, it had cheered me up and I was so grateful.

Christmas

The train south was busy because of people either trying to get home or to visit loved ones for Christmas, just like me. I had to change trains; it was made more awkward because I had a large suitcase and a bloody great parcel. I should have driven, but I'd been concerned about the weather.

I managed to get a taxi and fit all of my stuff inside. It was a struggle to get it all out again, but Jess came to my rescue and when she saw everything that I had she said, "I thought you were only staying a few days, not moving in!"

"The train seemed like a good idea until I set off. But don't worry, most of it is gifts."

Jess and I sat chatting and drinking coffee until Victoria came home and gave me a hug. The girls followed soon after, dragging lots of bags with food and other packages. I got a hug from them both, during which Fiona, at least I think it was her, pinched my bum. I smiled inwardly.

After a fun evening with lots of wine and good humour, I was up early with another smile the following day. Jess and I started the preparation for dinner and our Christmas feast; we made pate, trifle, soup and lots of nibbles. I had a little time for myself to finish some wrapping and was just about finished when there was a gentle knock at the door. Fiona stuck her head around it and when I nodded she came in. I sat on a pillow at the head of the bed with my legs tucked under me. Fiona lay on her side with her head propped on her arm at the foot of the bed. We chatted about school, her latest climbing adventures, her detentions and thoughts about University. She asked me about village life and my sketching. There was another polite knock and Jess came in.

"Here you are. You've been gone for over an hour."

"Sorry, Mum we were catching up on village life and school." The truth is we'd become completely wrapped up in our own world.

We spent the evening in front of a big fire. The coffee table was laden with nibbles and there were a couple of bottles of champagne. There were also plenty of jokes and Fiona told tale after tale about the time that we'd spent during the summer, most of them poking fun at me and some were actually true. We played some stupid games and then we went through to sit near to Fiona's keyboard. She struck up playing and Jane joined in on her guitar. They played several songs and we sang along, badly, laughing, possibly because of the alcohol.

I headed to bed in a really happy place and had just got into bed when Jane and Fiona arrived. We resumed the positions that we'd been in during the afternoon, but with Jane resting her head on my lap. We chatted about all sorts of things until we realised that it was almost 1 am. We had a hug and said goodnight. Jane left the room and Fiona closed the door behind her. She came to me and gave me another hug, kissed my cheek and said, "I'm glad you're here, I've missed you." With that she turned and left, leaving me speechless. I didn't dream about Jenny that night and I felt guilty about it.

Jess and I took care of the cooking, the girls sorted out the table and Victoria made drinks, champagne cocktails with breakfast, sherry at midday, wine before and during lunch. Karen came to join us; she was the owner of the computer software company that Fiona had connections with and a long-standing family friend.

Lunch was great; there was plenty of food, a never-ending supply of wine and most importantly a lot of good humour. Jane and Fiona cleared the table and left the four of us talking. I spent about twenty minutes with Karen who asked about how I'd coped over the last few months. Strangely it wasn't painful and I enjoyed recounting tales of my time with Jenny.

Victoria produced more champagne and made some cocktails before we sat to exchange gifts. My suitcase had been full of them; a large leather shoulder bag for Jess (there were a few gasps when they saw the trendy makers name), a long silk scarf, leather gloves and a very modern statement brooch for Victoria, a pair of earrings by an up and coming local jeweller in Windermere for Karen. I gave Jane some earrings and the very soft waist-length leather jacket that she'd admired and tried on during her visit in October. Her face was priceless, it was a beautiful garment and we all commented how well it suited her. Of course, she told me that I was too generous, the truth was that I owed her far more than the money that I'd spent on the jacket.

Fiona was last and I'd struggled with her until I remembered the watch that I'd given to Alex so many years ago. Fiona was all girl, everything she wore was feminine, but she too liked a chunky watch and I'd found just the thing. It was a ladies Omega Seamaster, robust, a slightly smaller version of the man's model and more suited to a ladies wrist. It was stainless steel with a pearl face and at first glance it looked like a nice, ordinary, watch until you studied it and then you realised that it was a quality timepiece.

I looked around the room before I spoke, "Fiona, I cannot tell you how much I appreciated your help and company earlier this year. Without you being there for me I'm sure that I'd still be in a dark place instead of here laughing and enjoying myself. I struggled with what to give you until I saw this. It's not just a Christmas gift, but also to thank you for that help."

She pulled the paper off and gasped when she saw the name on the box. Her eyes bulged when she saw the contents, her mouth opened, then she smiled that impish smile and simply said, "Thanks, Milly."

Jess gasped and, as I expected, said, "That's too generous, all of our gifts are too much."

"Nonsense, without all of you I wouldn't have survived and finding the things to show you how much I love you and appreciate your support was lots of fun for me. Worth all the hassle of dragging them on the train."

Jess and Victoria gave me a very smart coat and the girls gave me a lovely brown leather handbag with matching gloves.

It was Victoria who asked, "So what's in the big parcel?"

"Ah, that's for you and Jess. It's behind the couch." Jane dragged it over and Jess helped Victoria to unwrap it. They gasped as they stood back staring at the large picture frame, or more precisely the picture in the frame. It was a sketch that I'd done almost a year ago. It depicted Fiona sitting on the top rail of a stile with her sister leaning against it, next to her. It captured the two of them smiling and looking very happy. I thought that it was one of my best pieces of work and I was very proud of it.

"Bloody hell Milly, that's stunning," Jess said as she stared at it in astonishment.

Fiona turned to Jane and with a wry smile said, "You need to get Milly on a retainer, she's managed to make you good looking!" The two of them ended up fighting with cushions and rolling about the floor laughing.

Jess turned to me, "Milly, I love my bag a great deal and I know that it cost a fortune. But that picture is worth so much more. Thank you so much." I got a big hug.

"Actually if you did want to sell it I might be able to get three or four thousand for a Milly Scott original. But it might fetch more if the subjects had been better looking." The next thing I knew I was on the floor with the two of them on top of me and tickling me.

Victoria was grinning as she watched and asked, "Is that how they normally behave when they're with you, Milly?"

I managed to partly extricate myself and smiled as I said, "Sometimes."

Later that evening when things were a bit quieter and I was alone with Fiona I passed her a little box that contained another charm for her bracelet, it was an amber stone with a very small bug in it. She gave me a little felt bag containing a simple gold link bracelet. There was a very small flat gold circle next to the clasp. On one side it said my name and on the other it said hers. You would need to get very close to be able to read it and she said quietly, "That's our secret, the same as the engraving on the watch."

She slipped away and I went to bed. She'd obviously seen the engraving on the back of the watch case - 'Fiona, Love, Milly x' I fastened the chain around my right wrist and it sat below the bracelet that Alex had given me that I couldn't take off, even if I'd wanted to. The engraving would be my secret. I got into bed and just before turning off the light I looked at it again and felt tears. If only.

A couple of days later Jane and Fiona took me to the station. Jane stayed with the car; Fiona walked me to the platform. As the train pulled in she held me close and said softly, "It might be a while, but phone me often. Remember that we're friends and I'll be there, wherever that is if you need me. She went to kiss my cheek, I moved and we ended kissing lip to lip. We both looked a little shocked, but I turned away and got on the train.

I waved from the window, as she disappeared from view I wept again. An older lady looked over at me and asked, "Was that your daughter?"

"No, she's my best friend's daughter. I used to be her adopted aunt, but I had a tragedy a year ago and she helped me through it. Now she's my friend, my very good friend."

I turned away from the lady and looked out of the window thinking - 'But if she were older or...' I did not finish the thought.

Time moves on

Fiona and I spoke on the phone every week, sometimes more often. Occasionally I'd speak to Jane and on one occasion she said, "I love Fiona's watch, nice gift, I like the engraving too." I didn't respond. Later Fiona admitted that she'd shown the engraving to Jane but told me that she'd never show it to anyone else. She wore it every day and it was widely admired. She laughed as she also told me that several people had asked who'd given it to her. "I tell a different story to everyone who asks; boyfriend, girlfriend, aunt, mother, sister, lover, won it in a raffle, sugar daddy, stole it. Not all of them are lies."