All Comments on 'Mind Over Women Ch. 02'

Wow! Loved this chapter. Very well written, sex scenes are very hot. All around good story. Keep going! Can’t wait for the next chapter.

Very well thought out, written, and presented. Keep up the good work.

Good story line which would be improved by removing the multiple typos, and clearing up the loose ends. The imprinting could have been used directly to give the required result, but Joseph chose this way - good idea, but better explained. Interactions with other staff are unclear: are these two ladies the only ones imprinted? The French from the first Chapter was a little stilted and best removed as commented by others, but should have been explained, not just dropped. A few words on how the business runs and makes money wouldn’t go amiss. Keep writing, but see if you can find an editor to help.

Love the progress, not the typos. An editor would do wonders for the immersion.

You really lost me at the whole Friday night thing. He said it would take days, then starts messaging her that evening as if she knows exactly what is going on. Either he has a camera in her bedroom, or this is crap.

So I gave up after page 1. Just repartition and pointless.

No idea what the business is and just random fucks for no reason. There’s just no point or direction to the story.

Yeah I fucked this chick then I fucked that chick after fucking that other one.

Boring crap.

Love the potential here. Great so far and an even better setup. Bringing in new hires allow you to grow the story but not be limited to the same characters. Keep at it.

...it looks like there won't be more.

Joseph has the power to imprint yet chooses to “break” Jen. What’s the point other than outright gratuitous sadism?

Really needs continuing, started out ok and has plenty of potential.

Incredible story. Love the edging and the mind-bending pleasure you describe in the women. I tried to do something similar with my stories but find myself learning a lot from your style. Keep up the great work!