All Comments on 'Mistaken Identity'

This was good, but way too short for me to give it 5 stars. Flesh it out more, add in what happened later in the day, or something. JMO

Nice--short--needs another chapter

The score i gave reflects how it made me feel , neither good nor bad , it was to predictable , no build up , no descriptions , and too short , as others said build it up more lengthen the story ,give the reader something to think about .

I am not one of these people that hides behind the anonymous tag , if you check my profile you will see i have submitted zero stories to this or any other story site , you may think i have no right to criticize your work , but i have been a member on lit for getting on for 20 yrs , believe me when i say there is some dross on here but equally some exceptional authers aswell , and after 20 yrs i have worked out the good the bad and the down right ugly , but your story shows promise that it can hit that exceptional or very good marks at least , so please do not give up keep trying and if i see the improvement , my future scores will reflect that , and the reason i do not submit stories is because plain and simple my education is not of a standard that our pedantic writers , who find any reason they possibly can to NOT slag off there own and there own friends and family .

Well thats all i will say for now but i WILL keep checking back to hopefully you have take as least some of what i said .

All the best , and thankyou for the time you give to writing for us the readers .

The piper plays the tune! Well done.

Hope it doesn't come back to bite him in the butt!

4

Though it is a great mistaken identity, the sister in law makes good use of it. So there should be some built up, some flirting, some stopping of advances days before. When he starts a ton, he should feel some difference in height, boob size or reaction to the touches, or curves of love canal, the way she bends etc. When the identity is revealed, he should be startled because he should think she would never allow fooling with him bordering prude or even dislike. Then the revelation would have been much sweeter.