Mixed Signals Pt. 02

She stopped on the pavement and lit a cigarette, ignoring him talking before she walked on. "Stop it Shane, stop talking to me, stop following me, just stop. Leave me alone!" she sobbed as she took short drags on her cigarette. Her lungs heaved and her chest ached from crying and trying to rush to walk ahead of him. Part of her wanted to fall into his arms, warm and comforted and sleep until she felt better but she knew by now that if she gave in again it would start the vicious cycle all over again.

Eventually he dropped to a pace behind her and she made her way to the train station without another word between them. She checked the timetable and bought a ticket, seeing from the corner of her eye that Shane was waiting at the main entrance. She didn't look back at him as she walked onto the concourse, it was still early and the place was empty apart from staff and a few people doing the walk of shame. The shops were closed and Scarlett had an hour to wait before her train so she found the least public seat in the waiting area and sat down. She could see from the corner of the window Shane's frame down on the pavement out the front of the station, he was pacing back and forth with his hands balled into fists then he sat down on the wall, took his glasses off and put his head in his hands. Scarlett moved away from the window and cried so hard she couldn't breathe. Eventually she managed to control her tears a bit better, she went to the public toilets and splashed water on her face. The shop opened and she bought a bottle of water and walked up and down to shake off her restlessness. Soon the platform opened and she walked to the platform past the window she had seen Shane from but he was gone. She found herself panicking and wondering if he was OK. She checked her phone but there no messages or missed calls from Shane then she caught herself and remembered she wasn't OK and she only needed to worry about herself right now.

She walked down the steps to the platform and the cold morning air slapped her skin. She felt so confused and lost and foolish, her head was full of all the conflicting words and actions she and Shane had exchanged over the course of their relationship. Scarlett sat on the platform alone willing the train to arrive so that she could get home as quickly as possible. She didn't want to encounter anyone if she could help it and she didn't want to draw attention to herself. She started to cry again, she couldn't breathe, her chest heaved, her body trembled and she struggled not to cry out with the pain she felt in her heart. Her heart felt sore. "This must be how it feels to be heart broken" she thought.