All Comments on 'Slave Management 101-5'

Something to consider … I think you have 2 stories commingled here and you might be better off separating them. The first story is the training of James. You can pretty much just remove the scenes his sister is in (and there aren’t that many to date) and that set of stories works with no worries about the potential incest vibe. If you can control tags, this one would not have incest and should have “legal slavery” as a tag.

The second story is focused on James’ sister and how James eventually ends up owning her. Mixing the two isn’t doing you any favors in the getting and keeping an audience … at least in my opinion.

TYFTC

I tend to agree. That's how it's currently written. I added Katherine to this section because I received several questions about her. I'm getting close to the end of James/Emily's training, so I'll bring Katherine back in later as is currently written. Most of the story is written already, but I'm taking my time and editing closely before I post. I hate finding errors in my work after it has already been made available to everyone else.

I will also update my tags in the next posted section.

Thank you for the feedback. I am always open to serious, but polite criticism. This is my first attempt to write anything other than technical manuals, after all. I am particularly receptive to input from those who have published successfully on this forum, but I read all comments and take all serious comments/suggestions into consideration. Thank you again.

that little section in the lobby at the end was delightfully well written

Thank you DDRaptor. I appreciate the compliment.

Oh you do have a good plot here, I'm not normally into such stories but really like this.

Thank you oldtwit

Liked it a lot so far. Glad to see some more of the sister in this chapter. Looking forward to more and thank you for sharing this story.

"Ezechiel 25-17

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and by the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is He, who, in the name of Lord, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his Sister's Keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who will attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."

I kind of find Sam Jackson's monologue from Pulp Fiction fitting here. It's got the Lord, the brother's keeper and the whole shepherd thing where humans are treated like animals, but in a benevolent manner. And the vengeance part, too, like with Jackass of the broken elbow.

Thank you Robbb_Fang.

Got great potential and developing well.

Thank you all so much. I am truly humbled, yet proud at your praise. You guys make me enjoy sharing this with you.

Well tried several chapters, but - Its a NO GO ............. Just too out there and warped....