All Comments on 'Naked Goddess on Stage Pt. 04'

Imho you've made your story ridiculous by adding this 4th chapter. It's too crude, too over the top, too unbelievable. It doesn't fit the tone of what went before and it's addition devalues the whole.

My advice - write your own ideas, not someone else's. There's something 'mechanical' about the writing in this chapter that wasn't 't there earlier. It's like the difference between an original painting and one of those 'painting by numbers' kits.

While the earlier chapters were a bit unbelievable, they made some sense and were engaging. This one was totally implausible, both socially and physically. As BigBeanie suggests, write your own story and ignore the suggestions to turn it into a sleazy gang bang screed.

To Anonymous and BigBeanie: your comments are valid and constructive. I'll keep them in mind for future writing. Thanks for taking the time to critique the story.