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"Oh my God. I have never seen one. Never wanted too either." That may be true, but I suspect she wouldn't turn down the chance to see one if it came her way.
Perhaps I should introduce her to Ali.
"They took it in turns to kiss each other down there, he licked her, she sucked him. The first time I saw them he shagged her from behind, and the second time mum was on top as dad lay on the bed."
"Oh my God. No way. I have heard my mum do it to herself, but I didn't dare peep through the door to watch."
"Yeah, my mum has a toy, I have watched her doing it to herself too."
"Fuck off."
"After she had gone out I went and found her toy and tried it myself."
"No way. What's it like?"
"Well, it is kind of like your finger only it is madder. I found it a bit too much to be honest."
"I have no idea if my mum has one, I may have to search her bedroom and see if she does."
"Has your mum had a boyfriend that you know of?"
"I think so, but never here when she thinks I will be home. So, if she has, I haven't seen him. I mean, it could be a girl for all I know."
"You could always check her bedroom for signs."
"What signs?"
"Well, men do leave a mess, as you know, so, check her bed for wet patches. Or little hairs, not everyone shaves."
"Oh, that is gross."
I shrugged; it was up to her. I had to get to college, and that was another strange bus journey to face.
