Nathalie's Makeover Ch. 07

It caused a few problems between Carol and me because I felt myself drawing back from her, I wanted to talk but I was embarrassed. It was easier to talk to some of my clients. I felt guilty because I was using them for counselling, but charging them...

One in particular, Jennifer who was out and proud and very gay, was so easy to talk to. She laughed with me about her latest boyfriend and her love life... She was just really fun. I queried her on her boob job and she talked me through it. It was something that I had thought long and hard about since the party.

I loved Nathalie and I was certainly more at peace with the world in her skin. I can't explain it, I can't describe it but that night at the party back in Nathans skin I felt like a fraud. I wanted to be Nathalie, but it was going to take a big leap of faith. I stewed on it for ages and Carol saw my unease and tried to talk to me but I was scared, scared that she would leave me. She said herself it was nice to make love with Nathan occasionally, if I walked down this road there was no going back.

I struggled along until it blew up in an argument of gargantuan proportions over nothing at all. Carol in tears screamed at me. "OK this has gone far enough. If you are leaving just do it, don't lead me on I am sick of it."

I was shocked. "I am not leaving." I whispered in response. "Well not unless you kick me out after what I am about to tell you." I had been keeping this bottled up for so long it hurt and I burst into tears.

Carol grabbed me and we hugged collapsing on the sofa. "OK babe spit it out, what's going on, something has been troubling you for months, ever since that damn party, was it because I invited Yves?"

I kissed her holding her at arm's length peering into her eyes. "No it's bigger than that and I am scared of what you will think of me once I tell you."

"Then stop beating around the bush, spit it out."

"OK... well I told you that I want to live more as Nathalie, well that has been growing and now I want to take it a step further."

I could see tears building and her body trembled. "Yes."

"I want to get some facial surgery, to feminise my face, I want to get a trachea shave and I want tits."

The last bit made her pull back, but whereas I thought she would be horrified, she laughed. "That's it? All this fucking drama is because you want tits..."

"You said yourself it was nice to have Nathan occasionally, if I do this then it won't be possible. I was scared that you would no longer see me as the man of the house, I like that role, I like the fact you need me and rely on me."

"Fuck... I will still respect you in the morning." She giggled. "Yes it was fun having Nathan around, this is going to be hard to explain but I don't love the male or female side more or less. I love you for who you are. I guess I have been expecting you to walk further down this road and I am comfortable with that, we can make it work."

We hugged and fell back on the sofa in a kiss, she sat on top of me. "Babe you must make me only one promise."

Scared I whined. "Yes, anything."

"Well before you cut your dick off, I want children."

Now that took the wind out of my sails. "Children!"

She nodded. "Yes I love you, but I want children."

"How the hell could I ever be a father?"

She sniggered. "You will make a great parent, yes it will be different that's for bloody sure, but plenty of gay couples have children."

I had always wanted kids when Viv and I were together, but as I had floated down this creek I wondered if that ship had sailed.

"What would they think, kids would tease them mercilessly, they would have a terrible life."

She hugged me tight, her fingers digging in tightly. "Babe they would have a great life, we can bring them up to be children of the world, to understand, with no bigotry or prejudice."

I tried to say something but she shushed me. "You are not getting rid of that penis until I have my children."

That's when I smiled. "I don't want to cut it off, all I want is the surgery and boobs, I am keeping my cock."

"Babe I don't care, even if you did, you lick pussy so good, you know you have made me look at lesbians differently, now I look on with envy... But maybe even other girls aren't as good?"

"So children, when do you want this to happen?"

She kissed me wetly on the cheek. "If you are keeping your equipment... then there's no rush, but the moment you want to take hormones or chop it off then you have to tell me."

"So you would be OK for me to take this further?"

"So long as it's what you want, having boobies to play with will be nice."

It took me a while to actually build the courage to go through with it, talking had been wonderful and just airing my thoughts had been cathartic but now it was time to follow through.

Carol was supportive and drove me to the hospital, she kissed me. "I love you babe." She cried as they wheeled me into the surgery.

When I awoke from surgery my head was wrapped in bandages and I was fuzzy and disoriented but the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was Carol, she sat close to the bed with my hand wrapped in hers.

Over the next couple of weeks the recovery went well and my face was exposed and when I looked in the mirror I was horrified, I looked like bloody Frankenstein, but day by day I healed and it got better. My boobs looked good, but my nose took a while as did my lips. All that time looking at my thin masculine mouth made my new pouty lips look way to big but the swelling went down and they started to look normal. Carol teased me endlessly that she couldn't wait to get them wrapped around her fanny.

That day did eventually come but it seemed to take forever. That first kiss was amazing, my lips seemed so sensitive, it may have been psychosomatic but it sure felt good.