All Comments on 'Noble Elf Slut Alariel'

Its great that is jumps right into fantasy and clear what its about. Elves are a classic! It's nice to see a story with them. Is this chapter one of a series or does it end when she returns with gems?

A critique: Some of the wording seems off to me. I hate to say anything since I'm far from skilled. But an example near the end of the story, "he rubbed his beard eyes locked into Alariel's". It almost sounds like his beard has eyes. Obviously not what's intended.

The language was a little stilted and it seemed to jump from one tone to another without any warning.

Hard to say what the noble elf was really feeling or thinking since it went from mind-control to simple debauchery and then back again. Were the orcs doing something to her? Why would she be embarrassed or uncomfortable in the least when she's happily trading sexual favors back at home? Why are these orcs so fearsome that the elves won't attack to get their minds back, but presented as simpletons all too happy to screw the elf in trade for rocks they don't really want? Why don't they recognize the rocks are valuable trading commodities even if they don't care for them?

Little things like that break the suspension of disbelief that would otherwise make for a fun read.

-I admit the execution was a bit lacking since this is one of those stories I had far more “world building notes" at start and ended up deleting everything that explained excess things to focus on sex parts.

-Mc is just really confused/mentally troubled and I failed to convey that as optimally as I would have wanted. She is so confused about her reactions that she might even suspect she is being mentally fucked with but she is not. Like, she is a slut but did not think something like a filthy orc would do it for her like this.

-There is a difference between fucking an orc brute and an another elf. Especially if you live in a society where they are not even considered “part of the civilized races that are little better than monsters”

-personally I thought I had managed to convey the fact the orcs posses basic guns, tactics and magic that make it difficult for elf city-state to take the mines back but I should have prob added some clarification. (we are talking about a sea power that lacks notable land armies and rely on mercenaries that has been getting increasingly isolated in its area. Think of Venice during the end years)

-orcs want to fuck pretty elves but they usually blow themselves up rather than surrender to the brutes

-orcs do not value currency and use barter trade between tribes. Even if some might understand luxury goods, gems would not work as comodity if most “beast races” lack the ability to see the value of something "shiny." Can you eat it? fuck it or kill with it?

-So the gems are literally just shiny rock for them and most “beast races” do not value things based on how pretty they look unless they can be fucked

-orc clans might start valuing gems if they learn they can get elves fuck them or something. Or if the elves would stop killing their ambassadors and accept trade agreements...

I hope this explained some of my thinking as I try to balance between making “erotic fantasy story and fantasy world building”

Though I do admit I should not imply element that I do not explain “enough” how they work

I have one more chapter as a draft. Might do it eventually.

Very entertaining and funny as well.

Very very good story. As with some of your other story, the world you create is great, and the character are very well written too. The story is interesting and really well thought, and the sex is exciting and described for long: the best of a story, and the best of sex. It's hard to find in here stories with a good plot and good sex, and you manage to mix them in a great way !

For me, you didn't have to explain what you explained in your comments, 5 months ago: it's really well conveyed in your writing. I LOVE the fact that Alariel is excited by orc cock, but she finds it humiliating to accept it and voice it. I LOVE how you describe her confusion and lust for orc cocks, and how she wouldn't have thought it would have make her so excited.

Another great plot idea you have here, is that Orc know that elves would usually set themselves on fire when caught (which you introduce well by letting us know from the beginning that Alariel thinks that at worst, she can commit suicide by setting herself on fire, as she is a fire mage). The Orcs know that, because it already happened, and they get cautious with elves, giving instructions not to take them as prisoners or get them inside buildings. This is a great idea for plots: it makes it even more humiliating for Alariel not to do it because she gets so excited by Orc big cocks, and it gets it even more excited for Orcs to find an elf that is willing to have sex and doesn't set herself on fire. This is a plot idea that you could elaborate on and use more in other stories or as a follow up for this one.

To end up with this, I need to tell you I also love the ideas that you subtly set up here and in other stories: you convey that in your world, the Orcs are viewed as brutes and stupid people (they don't even know gems are worthy, they just think of them as pretty stones, but just stones), the Elves are viewed as smart tech people, clever and with a lot more words and wisdom than Orcs. What is truly clever in your stories, is that you subtly question this: the Orcs are brutish, but they are known to be honest and keep their words - they don't do traps or lies or plots. They attack bluntly but they do what they say. They laugh to deals, but when they do one, they respect their words. In this story, the elves kill the Orc diplomat and send him back in pieces: who are the brutes ?

It's the same as with Koraga and the Lord of light. What seems to be good might be bad, and what seems to be bad might in fact be good. You show the complexity of moral standards, and you do it in a way that is exciting and a good read, congratulations. It's subtle and make it go very well with the lust driving description, it makes it even better.

so soo good

had me going very very quickly

have favoured you and five stars, wish it could be more....