(Not) a Disastrous Winter

"Why did you disappear so quickly?" Anja asked. "Exactly!" said Katie. "You almost smashed the cups too."

Answer what? I chose openness. "Honestly? You sit and stand there in your underwear, and you want me to stand by, until the tea gets cold and my pants are tight?"

They both looked at me, then at each other and grinned. "Oh come on, Felix," Anja said. "What's different about underwear than a bikini? And you often saw us in it in the summer when we went swimming."

A good explanation was needed. I couldn't and didn't want to say that what I had just seen reminded me of last night. "But underwear isn't a bikini!" I tried weakly. "Besides, the eggs would soon have hardened!"

Katie choked on her tea and Anja laughed and dropped the roll on the table.

"Silly geese," I grinned. "The breakfast eggs had to be removed from the stove!"

And so breakfast passed in a relaxed and silly manner, without further incident or conversations about last night. And somehow, I was glad about it!

After everyone had had enough, we discussed who would do the dishes and who should clean up in the living room. I suggested that Katie and Anja could take care of the dishes, after all I had already set the table. I would take over the living room. Anja jokes, "OK, Katie does the dishes, I'll dry them off and you sweep up the broken pieces afterwards."

We laughed and got to work. I quickly brought the glasses into the kitchen and then vacuumed up the chip crumbs. First I heard giggles and the clatter of dishes. But coming back into the kitchen, Katie said, that rain had just been announced on the radio. That's why Anja would rather go home now, instead of in the afternoon as planned.

I could understand that. Because 3 kilometers (1.86 miles) by bike in the cold rain is not really fun. We decided to accompany her home and to do some quick shopping on the way back. Half an hour later, wrapped up warm, we set off. First the 2 kilometers (1.24 miles) to the edge of the village. Always along the small country road through fields, meadows and bends. Then through the village, since Anja lived with her parents at the other end. We said goodbye in front of her door. The girls with kisses, I just wanted to say goodbye, but like last night, I also got a hug.

"Then do it well," Anja said. "Have a good start into the new year, and don't do anything that I wouldn't do!" What was that supposed to mean now?

Katie shouted: "Have fun at Hamburg!" Because that's where Anja and her parents wanted to celebrate New Year's Eve with her big sister, Ulli, who was studying there.

When she disappeared into the house after a short wave, we rode off again. The next stop was the EDEKA (a German corporation of smaller and bigger super-markets [4]) in the village. It wasn't the shopper's paradise now, like in the cities. But also not a small mom-and-pop shop, as was often the case in the villages. Here you could already buy everything for your daily needs. Fresh fruit and vegetables, preserves, cleaning supplies, hygiene items, newspapers and magazines - there weren't just hip clothes. But only because apart from socks and tights there were no clothes.

We entered the shop with the firm intention of using the household money we had been given as fully as possible. The new Bravo had to be put in the shopping basket first. After all, it was Thursday (the Bravo was published weekly on Thursday). And it was clear that there would be discussions about the Abba poster. Nastassja Kinski's autograph card was of no interest to any of us. Then chocolate, chips and marshmallows for the cocoa. "You can't only live on mother's healthy, but also delicious, food." Katie said. I fully agreed with her and put some chocolate puddings in the basket. But also, a net of oranges.

At the checkout we were greeted by Ms. Hansen with a "Moin". ("Moin" is the North German way of greeting. [5]) She was sort of the good soul of the market. And what we would today call a village Facebook. She knew everyone in the village and knew who liked to buy what, and through her work at the checkout she overheard every village gossip. But she didn't gossip by herself and was always nice and polite to everyone, including us younger people. Her only weakness and at the same time her favorite topic is talking about the royal families of this world.

"Well, you two part-time orphans, is the farm still in one piece?" she asked, smiling. After all, Mom had bought our food here and also told her about the upcoming trip. "Of course," was my answer. "We've only been without parental supervision for a day." To my astonishment, the otherwise rather reserved Katie added: "You have to give us a little more time for that." All three of us laughed, then we paid our bill and left the store with a "Moin, and have a Happy New Year".

The sky had meanwhile turned dark gray and the wind had also picked up. Luckily we had a tailwind and came home well, but frozen. We put the bikes in the shed and brought our groceries inside. After stripping off our coats and boots, we craved some hot tea to warm ourselves. We sat side by side on the corner bench, warming our hands on the cups. From time to time we looked out the window at the sky, which was getting darker and darker. The weather report on the radio also sounded more and more menacing. To distract ourselves, we flipped through the Bravo together. Read the cover stories about The Beatles, Abba and the other celebrities. Then the most important thing, the Doctor Summer page. Katie read the letters written by girls and I read the replies. In the letters from boys, the roles were reversed.

"Oh boy," Katie said, "some people have no idea about sex!"

"Oh," I replied, "and you've read, heard or tried everything about sex?"

"No, definitely not! But not getting pregnant from kissing, that should have gotten around by now!"

"True, and also that watching porn isn't harmful." I tried to bring the conversation back to last night. Katie blushed a little but then playfully slapped my arm.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you girls were shocked just yesterday when the video started. Later you wanted to see it."

"Oh I see! That was only because they were so old! Surely they were as old as mom and dad."

"And at that age they can't have sex anymore?" I asked Katie.

"Well - maybe - yes," she stuttered, "but I don't want to imagine that, and actually I don't see it either. But we must have been a bit tipsy and - well, it was the first porn I've seen." Katie admitted.

"And? Was it that bad?" I asked.

"No, not bad. It was even kind of interesting to see what women and men do together. So far I've only read about it on Bravo. Or it was talked about at slumber parties." She took a deep sip from her mug. "Are these movies all like that? So, I don't know how to say it, without feeling? That went in no time and got straight to the point."

"I don't think so." Was my answer after a moment's thought. "There will definitely be different ones. But I've only seen two at Oskar's, they were very similar." Oskar is a friend of mine. His real name is Harald. But since he was allowed to drive and even had his own car, he was only called Oskar in his circle of friends. After the character from Sesame Street, because his old VW Beetle was actually a rolling garbage can.

Katie looked out the window again. "I wonder if dad has any more movies?"

"I don't know, I only saw the one yesterday. If so, then he probably won't leave them lying around in the open." I grinned.

"Where could he have hidden them if he had any left?" Katie wanted to know.

"If so, then here in the house. He certainly doesn't want to go to the shed or workshop every time! Well, I'd probably look first in the top drawers of the living room closet, or in their bedroom."

"Ok!"

That was the end of the conversation. Katie took the cups, put them in the sink and said to me, "I'm going to my room. If I do my geography homework quickly now, then I'm really on vacation. Can you heat up lunch in about 45 minutes?"

"Really now, you want to think about school now? Well then do it. What am I supposed to do for lunch?"

"It doesn't matter." I got the answer and she disappeared.

So there I was, alone in the kitchen, listening to the radio playing in the background and just lost in my thoughts. Some of them got mixed up like the clouds in the sky. Why did Katie come up with such questions, and why to me? Shouldn't she discuss something like that with another woman? And yes, I guess I had to start seeing her as a woman instead of a girl. The pictures from last night came back in my head, it really didn't look like girls' games.

First I rinsed the two cups and put away our purchases. But that only distracted me for a few minutes.

But who should she go to with her questions? We didn't have an older sister, and she wouldn't go to our mom. Also she didn't have close contact with older girls either. In terms of age, her oldest friend was Anja. And she was just half a year older than Katie and turned 19 next March. That left only the big brother.

Even as a child I was told, that as a big brother, I should take care of my little sister, that I should protect her. The job description said nothing about education in general and answers to specific questions about sexuality. On the other hand, if she trusted me enough to bring it up to me, that flattered me a bit. And it scared me too! Because while I was trying to sort this all out for myself, I saw Katie and Anja naked on the bed again, enjoying each other. And my pants started getting tight again! I tried to concentrate on the pictures of Anja, because I wasn't allowed to think of my little sister in that way.

For me, Anja was just my sister's cheeky friend. With her bubble butt and cute little breasts that I wanted to see if they were as firm as they looked. Yesterday evening had awakened something in me. And first Katie. How she moaned when Anja brought her to orgasm with slow, even finger movements. I had to admit to myself that I desired both. Anja, ok, but my sister?

It was almost noon now, but it was almost as dark outside as it had been in the evening. I put those thoughts away for now and made a mental note to be there for Katie. With advice and action, and with lunch. I went into the pantry and checked what Mom had prepared for us. I found a jar of boiled ground beef sauce for pasta. And because I knew this was one of her favorite foods, I took it to the kitchen. A package of spaghetti. A look at the clock, I had about 20 minutes left, that should be enough. I put two pots on the stove, one for the sauce, one for the pasta water. I set the table while I waited for the water and sauce to heat up. Now add salt and noodles to the water.

Actually, all I had to do now was wait and stir from time to time so that nothing burns. Just like my current situation, it went through my head. Wait, don't let anything burn, and if you have to, get everything moving. And while I was stirring the pots again, I had the idea of ​​spicing up the table a bit. I quickly went into the living room, fetched a white tablecloth, two candlesticks and the good napkins. Well, not like on TV soaps, but nice. I drained the noodles, put them and the sauce in two bowls and put them on the table too. I turned off the overhead light and was about to call Katie to dinner when her door opened.

"Done!" I heard her call out. "When is lunch?"

"As soon as you sit down at the kitchen table!" was my answer.

"Mmmm, that definitely smells good." She said and sniffed the air towards the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway and was amazed. "Whoa, little brother, I wouldn't have believed you capable of that. You even have a romantic streak."

"Sit down before it gets cold. And don't get used to it," I teased with a grin, "this is just to celebrate our first day as part-time orphans living alone, as Mrs. Hansen put it." Little did we know then that candlelight would soon become a daily necessity.

We ate the pasta in relative silence. Laughing, Katie rubbed her stomach. "It was really tasty, you can heat up food really great. I'm so full!"

I quickly got two of the chocolate puddings. Poking around with the spoon, she suddenly said, "We should look in their bedroom. I know mom has a lingerie catalog laying in her underwear shelf."

Now I was floored. "How do you know that?"

"Remember last summer, when she had her arm injured. She had to carry it in a sling for a long time? I had to help her a lot, such as ironing, folding and putting away the laundry. That's where I found it, in the drawer with her undershirts."

"And you think Dad has the same idea?"

She pondered briefly. "Perhaps not the same, but a similar one. I didn't see anything in his linen closet, but I didn't look, specifically either."

"And now you fancy a little research mission?" I asked, laughing.

"Why not?" she replied with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Let's wash up quickly and then we can start!"

The few dishes were quickly washed and dried, so that only a few minutes later we were standing in front of our parents' bedroom door. Funny, somehow we were both a bit nervous and self-conscious. Should we really be rummaging through our parents' stuff? Nobody wanted to take the first step. "Come on, great and intrepid explorer! Let's go into areas none of us have seen before." I said. She giggled briefly, but then opened the door and stepped inside. If my little sister can do it, I can do it too. I followed her and turned on the light. She went to the cupboard, opened it and took out the catalog. It was from a lingerie dealer and the term sexy lingerie catalog seemed like an exaggeration to me.

"You see? There it is," she triumphed, laying it on the bed. "Shall we split up? You daddy's side and me mommy's?"

Since I had already seen my mother's underwear on the clothesline, today one would call it a Granny-style (in German we also say ‚Liebestöter', translated literally means Love Killers), I wasn't very interested in rummaging through her clothes and agreed. Katie went through my mother's closet and I went through my father's. But apart from some bras and panties that were a little more daring, she found nothing. Holding up one of our mother's bras, she said sadly, "Oh dear, I could never fill that!"

Now how the hell am I supposed to answer that? "It'll be fine," I tried to comfort her, but all I got was a "idiot" and she stuck out her tongue.

I didn't find anything in our father's closet either. Even when I stood on the bed and looked at the cupboards, there was nothing but a little dust and the suitcases for the holidays. Shaking these, we found that they were empty.

We looked at each other and said almost simultaneously: "The bedside tables!"

In the top drawer on dad's side I found tissues, nasal spray and some condoms. "Look, what we made them do!They don't want any more of our kind!" I laughed, waving the condoms.

Katie threw herself onto the bed laughing. "You maybe, they would have wanted a few more of me!"

I now opened the lower drawer. There I actually found a video cassette in addition to a Playboy, a few issues of Praline (a German kind of nudist-magazine) and a Beate-Uhse catalog. While flipping through the magazines, I suddenly heard Katie say in amazement, "Wow, that's a lot bigger than mine!" I looked up, she had a vibrator in her hand! "What?" I asked, "bigger than YOURS? You have a vibrator?" Now that surprised me! Quiet calm Katie has fun with her best friend and owns a vibrator. It seemed like a completely different person was sitting in front of the other bedside table, than my little sister.

"Oops," she said and blushed again. "Yes, I have one!" came a little defiantly from the other side of the bed. But then again more forgiving: "But you don't know anything about it, tells me, that you don't look secretly in my drawers." If she knew what I had seen last night. "Shall we look at the catalogs?" she asked.

"Why not? Right here?"

"No," was Katie's reply, "Here on our parents' bed?" She shook herself playfully and laughed.

"Then let's go into the living room or into the kitchen." Was my suggestion.

"In the living room, " Katie decided, "we can sit comfortably on the sofa there!"

We took our booty into the living room, the condoms and the vibrator were of course left behind, we had no use for them.

Katie quickly went to get drinks while I turned on the radio. "It's 4 p.m., this is NDR2 with the news. This is followed by a storm warning for the German North Sea and Baltic Sea coasts..." Well, we hadn't been in our parents' bedroom for hours, but had eaten quite late for lunch. I didn't pay any more attention to the radio because Katie came back and sat on the sofa.

We flipped through the magazines fairly quickly, as they offered little for Katie. But something was nagging at her, I could see that. "What's going on?" I asked. "Should I take the things away again?"

"No," she replied, "but they all have big breasts, it makes me feel so tiny."

"Look, they're all a few years older than you."

"Yeah," she murmured, "but you guys all like big boobs. What are my chances there? Or Anja, she has even smaller ones than me! And she is half a year older."

Now the empathy of the protective big brother was required. "Well, I don't believe that everyone just likes big breasts. Here, or here," I pointed out in a magazine, "they're not that big either."

"But you're still looking!" Hello, stubborn ones approaching.

"Yes, I must admit that. They can't be overlooked either. Think of Renate from 10b. I don't even know if she can see her feet when she's standing up!" Alright, Katie laughed again, then got serious again and asked me, "And which do you like better?"

Wow, I wasn't expecting this question.

"Or don't you want to talk to me about it?"

"Well, that's not something to talk about with the little sister. But to be honest, I don't know exactly. I didn't have that many girlfriends either. Frauke's were quite big, that wasn't really up to me." I admitted. "And to stay with your examples, when I saw you or Anja in bathing suits, it looked somehow consistent, it suited you, your character - as a total work of art!" Katie looked at me a bit confused. "They just fit you!" Here I paused and took a sip. "I've never really thought about it either, but I think I like the smaller and medium-sized ones better."

Katie also thought about my words for a while. That not all boys wanted the big boobs seemed to put her at ease. She looked out the window for a while longer. I too had to ponder. What happened, that she saw herself in such a bad light and had such a messed up picture of the boys.

"Tell me, if we're already talking so openly here, how the hell did you get the idea of ​​buying a vibrator, and where did you get it from? There's nothing like that in our EDEKA."

She laughed. "As if I would buy something like that in the village shop! It's still embarrassing for me to buy my tampons there." Now I had to laugh too. "Well, it's actually Anja's fault. We went to the cinema at the time, saw Grease and then I slept at her place. Somehow we were in a good mood that evening and fooled around. At some point she had to laugh so hard that the orange juice came out of her nose. She could only say ‚handkerchief' and ‚bedside table'. And when I took the tissues out of the drawer, well, that's when I saw him. ‚What do you have that for?' I asked her. ‚It's fun,' she said. I turned it around in my hand a little helplessly and all of a sudden it started to vibrate, so I dropped it in shock."

I listened intently to her description.

"We fooled around a bit and then went to bed. But it didn't really let me rest. 'And what are you doing with it now?' I asked her. Then she bent over me, got it out of the drawer, switched it on and said: 'It's good for a tense neck, for example' and held it to my neck! 'But you actually use it differently.' She held it first to my chest and then to my nipple. It was really tingling, but it was also pleasant. 'And holding it between my legs,' she told me, 'it feels really great.' But she didn't demonstrate that to me."