All Comments on 'One Night in Seoul'

I think using a 2nd person perspective was a mistake. Unless someone is a wife with the desire to act like this, the reader will be jarred when you tell them that they are doing what your character does. For the very small pool of potential readers it can make the story more real and personal. For the rest of us, the story cannot work. I recommend 1st or 3rd person perspective.

The writing was good.

I am surprised that you chose the main character to be a wife and mother, but the family never seems to come up beyond a throw-away comment about talking about them. One would think that the conflict of emotions would play a big part of the story. Loyalty vs lust. The taboo of betraying her family life. To just ignore what is presumably the most important and rewarding aspect of her life is a mistake in my opinion.

For me the payoff of cheating stories is the internal emotional struggle. There was no payoff for me. She might as well have been not married. But then, maybe that is just me.

I do thank you for sharing your story.

Again very well written with a few spelling errors; but very enjoyable.

Today.is shitty second person stories!

As a writer you need to understand a very important point: the Point Of View (POV) from which you are writing.

This story seems to be told by an invisible "eye-in-the-sky", reporting on what is happening. But this "observer" cannot then write from the POV of the main characture, describing what she is feeling and thinking. It's impossible.

This is a massive error that is often made but, frankly, it just doesn't work. Re-read your story and you will realise it. Keep writing though. Perhaps "practice makes perfect" but sort out the POV. Cheers.

Do you find the daily / evening routine of a whore exciting? And that with a Dutchman? Your taste leaves a lot to be desired. The way you tell your story is not attractive at all. She seems sterile to me and without feelings. But others may see it differently. But the stupidest thing I find is that you think an anklet would express you would be a "hotwife"! If you meet all women with anklets with this opinion, then it will hail knuckle sandwiches for you!

Another truly shitty story. I see you couldn't resist having some black guys in the story. Because after all, what's a supposed erotic story without black guys? If only there were negative scores. By the way, figure the difference between first and third person, then educate yourself on the use of grammar.

Stop telling me what I should already know.. I don't suffer from memory loss

Lousy grammar.

SOME NOTES TO WOULD BE AUTHORS:

1. As mentioned in a previous comment, "black" guys in a story, DO NOT an erotic story make,

2. Including "black" characters solely in an effort to raise the titillation factor does not work,

3. Having read the LW comments, the readership of LW appears to be adversely inclined to support works with "black" characters, primarily because they are not looking for that genre in the LW category,

4. Including a "black" character solely for the purpose to dominate and subjugate the white wife of a weak, downtrodden, poorly endowed, white husband has become a severely overused theme in LW,

5. Writers who chose to use the "black" character trope should post their efforts in the INTERRACIAL LOVE category where their demographic audience are most likely to go to read that genre.

This MC of this story seems to be self-involved and somewhat conceited woman. She is out looking for some self-indulgent pleasure, however, she may wake up in the morning and find herself the newest resident of a South Korean whorehouse!

SIR.

You say the woman is a Hot wife. I was told decades ago that a woman that wear something on her anklet.

Was a woman of the night. In brief a PROSTITUTE. Therefore your story is poor to say the least. CRAP.

ZERO.

Second persons stories suck!

Must agree with Mr. Anonymous. It starts with sir. Her husband must know she is a prostitute and it is true women who wear anklets are women of the night. I knew that 60 years ago. So wake up. You get - 1,000,000. From me.

As a writer you suck worse than your stories do.

Instead of posting two pieces of crap why not put the effort into trying to make one thats even remotely close to being decent?

Just throwing shit against the wall to see what sticks never ends well here, accept of course unless youre aiming for the mouth breathers (granted many anons are simply the writers logging out and cheering themselves on).

You've literally followed the same over used cliches as do so many "authors". Once youve read a few stories few of you can expand beyond those literary borders, and judging by what you post, you neither dare, nor care to, try. You take the same plots, character templates and change a few details while ignoring the fact that the story/stories you are copying were shit to start with.