All Comments on 'Out for a Run'

Your first effo ) rt! ... Encourage you to do more.

... Now: ... if you can, find a writer's group that you can join. the genre doesn't matter. Writers are pretty supportive and accepting guys and girls. ... You have some talent ( and 'spunk' ! ) ... but, it needs some work.

... Don't give up; keep working on it. ... we all started somewhere.

Good premise.

But:

Much too short.

Sex is too automatic. Too without tension.

Lacks needed dialog. They never discussed any attraction to each other. He didn't tell her he liked her ass. Her breasts. And she didnt't ask him.

They teased about sexual activities at camp, but never mentioned any specifics. Needed specifics.

And does ANY guy refer to (or think of) his cock as a MEMBER?

Three stars.

hot as fuck

I agree with the other two guys, you have potential but your ideas need more fleshing out. If you need an editor later on feel free to hmu (mail in profile for lit editors ;))