All Comments on 'Paradise Obtained Ch. 01: Ilse'

Excellent framing laid in! Thanks for sharing your work.

This is an excellent beginning to what should be a great story. This chapter is well-conceived, well-written, with interesting characters, a fine plot, and an excellent love scene. If the author stays true to the promise made at the beginning and at the end of this chapter, (many authors do not), the reader is going to be gifted an outstanding story. Five stars.

A very yummy and interesting start to this story. I'm looking forward to more of it! Thank you!

You have to work in your german names. The ones you use were popular pre-WWII. The top 10 female names around the year 2000 were: Anna, Lea, Sarah, Hannah, Michelle, Laura, Lisa, Lara, Lena, Julia.

Thanks for the comment re the names. It is a subject I find interesting. In this case I deliberately chose names that sounded distinctively German. Many of the ones you mention are also widely used in English speaking countries and I have quite a lot of characters to keep track of, so it helps make her stand out. At one point she was going to be called 'Inga'. I have had similar issues when searching for Japanese and Indian names for my characters only to discover that western style names are now becoming popular in those countries - I prefer something that that gives the character a specific identify.

Well written, although I don't really like the type of callous mind controllers taking a whole life away from a woman for their own satisfaction.

That said: I'm German, and First names come and go with the fashion. So I don't mind your using Ilse. Nobody knows if it might be among top 10 five years from now.

No one smart enough to do this would put any of this information on any computer anyone else could access or openly allow anyone a hint of it for someone to ever find out, let alone follow/track. And they definitely would never trust someone else this much with this kind of thing without mind-controlling them first. Such ridiculous forced plot.

Also, lmao at anyone implying there's a non-callous way to go about using mind-controlling powers. The very act of mind-controlling is a complete disregard for others.