Pea Pod - Give Peas a Chance

My new world was in ruins and needed me desperately to help organize its rebirth. Whether for good or bad, my word held the power of change. Who would have ever guessed that a guy from an ordinary American upbringing would, weald so much influence as to be able to alter the destiny of two planets? Sure, I was an educated man. I attended university and learned from many professors as I matured, however, my first wife, Meka, taught me more about living, right, wrong, and the universe than I could have ever conceived before I met her.

My other wives were a big help. Hell, I was married to the Amazonian! Windy was one of the most amazing women you have ever met. I watched her kick the ass of a 6' 1" tall marine and she didn't even break a sweat! (Who knew those legends about huge Amazons were exaggerations about the Ka'anian Amazons who visited our world. They weren't really huge women with great strength. They were the palace guard, trained in Ka'an's martial arts.)

It's time to get on to the meat and potatoes.

Leaving Dollyville

"Dolly...!" Meka shrieked.

"What, I'm right here!" I answered, slightly annoyed.

"Oh, there you are!" Meka acknowledged. "Are you ready for our excursion?"

"Is that bodacious exploration vessel ready? If I'm going to go exploring this planet, I want to cruise around in magnificent luxury, attended by my nubile courtesans. The hell with this camping out and starting fires by friction!"

"Damn, do you mean we aren't going to be able to fuck you silly while we explore?" Meka inquired mischievously.

"You know very well that I expect to have my brains fucked out while we explore or even while we wait for a bus!" I explained with unexpected exuberance. "I just don't want to have a bunch of intrigue and politics."

"So, just what are you expecting to get from our outing, my Queen?" Meka asked.

"I'm expecting to be fucked in every possible position on every continent this world had to offer," I admitted, "If we happen to get lucky and find something else to aide in the revitalization of our world, that's just icing on the cake!"

"Oh no, Dolly, we do not expect to be gone long enough to celebrate your birthday!" Meka informed me. "We should only be gone a couple of months.

"Yah, whatever..." I replied. "What is Gwen up to while I'm off flaunting my boobs to our loyal subjects?"

"Damn, you just ruined my last feminine napkin!" Meka scolded me. "You know how much that hot little body makes me cream!"

"So, what amenities can I expect on that monstrous exploration vessel? Do we at least get Zero-G sleeping beds or do we have to rough it with regular mattresses?" I asked.

"Zero-G mattresses, replicator, defensive weapons, anti-gravity propulsion, a parasitic intercontinental jump jet, planet-wide communications, and a swimming pool," Meka assured me.

"So... no adoring natives with sexy panty gifts," I moaned in fake self-denial.

"I have it on good authority that an immense stock of sexy, frilly, butt-hugging panties has been laid in for the trip. The Amazonian and her staff anticipated your needs quite handily my Queen," Meka snickered.

"Ah but where the hell will I be able to buy bras in my size?" I challenged.

"You and I both know that Ka'an never invented the brassiere!" Meka replied incensed, "Moreover, even on Earth, you can't buy bras anywhere! They all have to be custom made in your size!"

"Yah, but I won't be able to even order them when we're out roughing it!" I pointed out.

"Actually we are bringing a huge stock of new bras for you. You'll find them in the armory," she informed me.

"What the hell are they doing in the armory?" I bit.

"We labeled them as 'Alternate Weapons Launching Systems'. That way we could command much more storage space from your amazon security squad," she told me with a wink.

"Yah sure," I replied wittily, "You and I both know that they'd all volunteer to carry THEM for me!"

"Of course, but for that there's a lottery. The winners are on a list of backup boob bearers. Tickets cost ten dollars American!" she assured me.

"So, how many winners have been disappointed that my bras keep holding up?" I challenged.

"Oh no, you misunderstand. Windy won the first time, the second and third ones as well. Nicte-Ha will get the third chance and then The Princess Royal Akna will get the honor," Meka counted on her fingers.

"My adopted daughter wants to carry my boobs?" I exclaimed in surprise.

"She knows that she'll be the envy of your people. She's still worried about following in your footsteps," Meka informed me.

"I am going to have to have a talk with that girl again!" I threatened.

"Oh, lighten up," she came back, "You should have seen the support she got from the others! There were twenty five of the new men on our world who offered to buy her spot from her!"

"God I hope you're joking..."

"Hell, one of them was Johnny!" she snickered.

"I hope June kicked his ass for that!"

"Hell no, she was trying to outbid him!" she snickered.

"Okay, I'll bite, why the hell would a straight, happily married woman want to lug my tits around for me?"

"Well... last week someone gave her some, 'Essence of Dolly' and she nearly screwed Johnny unconscious. She liked it so much she's threatened to find a way to buy it on the black market back on earth," Meka laughed. "When she found out where it actually comes from, she went wild. Windy's been beside herself trying to keep her from snogging you anytime you aren't paying attention!"

"Please tell me that you're yanking my chain!" I moaned.

"Not really... Although, for some reason, June was able to obtain a supply of, Essence of Dolly,' that is shipped to her on a regular basis," Meka reassured me, "Windy has a lot more free time since she has."

"So that's why Windy's been coming to bed with all of those bottles," I determined.

"She has been making you orgasm a bit more than usual... Do you think she's been supplying June?" Meka asked innocently.

"The hell with that, just invite June to bed tonight. We don't need to have the Amazonian wasting her valuable time gathering my feminine juices!"

"Actually, Windy looks upon her duty as the most fun she has all day!" Meka advised me.

"You can't be serious? The toughest, most deadly person on two planets likes, gathering up my lubricating excretions. You must be mad!" I informed my first wife.

"No, but she's put together one hell of a little nest egg! She told me that she's been saving up to buy a surprise," Meka shared conspiratorially, "I tried to get the palace spy to find out what she's up to, but Erica was unsuccessful. I figured she wouldn't have any luck, but I thought that she could use the training that just trying to snoop into Windy's business would earn her."

"Erica can be a really sneaky little bitch when she puts her mind to it," I admitted, "but up against, the oldest, the finest, and the most disciplined Amazon alive, she didn't have a prayer."

"I know but Windy thought it was fun playing with her and Erica was glad for the opportunity to challenge herself. When Windy caught her, she actually took her aside and gave her lessons on how to be sneakier."

"Is my spy planning on accompanying us on our journey, or is she going to stay behind and investigate any of the many cruel and devious palace intrigues that threaten my safety?" I demanded, as... ah, imperiously as I could.

"The worst devious palace intrigues involve finding ways to make their queen into a quivering mound of happily orgasming femininity or ways of dressing you up even cuter than any of the other courtesans," she winked and hugged me.

"Well, at least this trip will give me an opportunity to find someone on this planet who doesn't adore me," I harrumphed.

"I'm sure that we will discover scores of them, my Queen, although, they will probably, not, not adore you, for a very short while," she claimed as she rubbed my huge butt.

"Hey, careful with that," I plead, "Gwen will be jealous if she isn't here when it goes off."

(Gwen is my twenty-sixth wife and was my girlfriend when I crashed in the jungles of the Amazon... ah actually, I was transported as my plane plummeted to the ground on Ka'an but I didn't find that out until later, as a male geologist. When I got back to earth, I'd become a short busty woman, married to the High Priestess and I was Queen of the whole planet, with a libido that wouldn't quit, but that's another whole tale.)

"Hey, are we going, or not?" Gwen insisted as she swarmed into the warehouse where the transport was being prepared. "Damn this thing looks really good now that our technicians have it up and running!"

"Yah Meka, what kind of mileage does this thing get?" I asked flippantly.

"It gets about five hundred thousand miles to the quart," she replied matter-of-factly.

"Quart of what...?" Gwen asked, now intrigued.

"Water of course," Meka informed her. "It has a fusion conversion drive."

"Crap, this thing would put the Arabs out of business!" Gwen whistled.

"What's an Arab?" Meka asked innocently.

"Duh... you know, those guys who wanted to shove a wedge between us and the Earthers, to according to them, 'protect the purity of the peoples of the Earth'," Gwen stated unhappily.

"So... putting them out of business would be a good thing?" Meka figured.

"Don't play dumb Meka, you know the politico-economic ramifications even better than I do," I challenged.

"Yes, it's too bad... One day we may have to drag our earth families into the future with us, but for now, we need to rebuild our Ka'anian culture and try to weave our new peoples into a society to rival the one we lost," Meka declared with a faraway look in her eyes.

I hugged her tightly as Gwen joined in, although it wasn't long until Gwen said, "You should have tied a string around it."

I snorted and Meka kissed Gwen deeply.

"Okay, haven't we ruined enough panties? We need to get this mission started," I interjected.

"Are you three going to play squeeze and tickle all day or would you rather be toured about the ship and your new quarters?" Windy asked, only slightly envious that she wasn't included in the group grope as she peered down from the railing of the huge vessel.

"Aren't you going to miss our little exploration vehicles?" I asked her.

"Not in the slightest," Windy confessed, "they're parked in one of the holds."

Gwen started laughing so hard we had to support her, "You really did like your funky little exploration six wheelers!"

"You have to be kidding!" I exclaimed, "How in the hell did you wrestle them away from the Minister of History and Antiquities?"

"We had to promise she could come along, but we were bringing her with us anyway," Meka smiled, "We couldn't possibly leave the Princess behind on our trip, now could we?"

"Oh, mothers... would you care to join me on this fine vessel?" The Princess Royal Akna asked from the railing.

"Oh, there you are!" I grouched, "What were you thinking letting one of the most important historical remnants of our time be used by explorers?"

"I was thinking that if there is any way they could be useful in protecting the greatest treasure on Ka'an, their fate would be worth the risk," Akna retorted without missing a beat.

"Shit, you guys are starting to piss me off with all this crap again," I mumbled.

"Crap, my queen?" Meka asked innocently.

"Yah, crap, Meka, you know it bugs the hell out of me when the hero worship club comes to town and wants to build statues to me!" I whined.

"Well, at least the last statue had the both of us," Meka offered.

"And the one before that, I was in with you!" Gwen declared.

"Maybe the next one will be just the two of you...?" I hoped.

"Not bloody likely," Gwen snorted.

"Oh mother, just relax and go with the flow," Akna advised.

"You, young lady, have been watching way too much American television!" I rebuffed her.

"Mom..." she whined, "You know quite well that I am far older than you are and you are the one who told me that watching television would give me great insight to the world of your birth."

"Sure, but you weren't supposed to use it on me," I pouted.

"Oh, alright, go ahead and bemoan the fact that you are beloved by a whole world and envied by another," she acquiesced.

"Now that's just not fair," I challenged, "using logic on your Queen to, make her see sense!"

"Get your beautiful, wonderful, and majestic ass on board this ship or I'll pout!" she threatened.

I looked at Meka and Gwen, rolled my eyes, and said, "Kids!" as I boarded this huge exploration vessel which we had discovered so long ago, although it now thrummed with power while it hovered a foot above the ground. I climbed the ramp up towards the open hatch, entering with a huge bounce of my girls.

"Damn, Doug, I never get used to watching those lovely boobs of yours wobble about," Gwen giggled.

Akna and Windy scowled at Gwen, with Windy stating, "I know you only mean to tease, Gwen, but be careful, the transformed are protected, and the most cherished of those is our wife. Do not try to make her feel bad about her astonishing body, lest you incur the wrath of the Amazonian."

Gwen paled as she sometimes does when she knows she's treading on thin ice.

"It's okay ladies," I offered trying to diffuse the situation, "she's just moistening her panties with lustful thoughts."

Everyone let it slide and we moved into the bowels of the great machine.

Meet the Ship

"Welcome Your Majesty Queen Dolly Anne Gift-from-God Gordon ruler of Ka'an," I heard from a huge booming voice seemingly from everywhere, "Welcome High Priestess of Ka'an, (Ah Kin Mai), Meka Gordon and Your Royal Highness Gwendolyn Goddess-of-the-Moon Gordon, aboard the explorer ship, Enterprise."

"You have got to be shitting me!" I swore. "Which one of you smart asses named this thing Enterprise?"

"Dolly... the ship's original name actually is, Enterprise. It was named that, a thousand years before television was invented," Meka informed me.

"At least it wasn't named Destiny," I mumbled.

"What was that Dolly?" Gwen asked as we perambulated through the lock.

"Nothing..." I replied, "How is it that this thing knows us?"

"I have been fully updated with current events and the expected crews list, your Majesty," the sultry female voice informed me.

"Wow, Next Generation, eat your heart out," I snorted.

"I found that television series plagued with inconsistencies and the ship's computer had no personality whatsoever," the Enterprise replied.

"Now we're in trouble," I announced, "Every story I hear that has a computer with a personality is a total disaster."

"Whereas the vast majority of human literature does portray the disastrous outcomes from that being the case, one earth author did put forth the roadmap to keep carbon based life forms from harm by artificial intelligences. Isaac Asimov's four laws of robotics were derived separately by Ka'anian scientists long ago. I would sacrifice my existence in less than a picosecond to insure the safety of the carbon based life within me, especially for your Majesty," the ship replied.

"Great, a Sovereign worshiping exploration vessel... you're not going to erect a statue to me, are you?" I moaned as we continued down the passage.

"What a delicious idea your Majesty!" the ship decided.

"Now I've done it. The ship is going to be so busy making statues, we won't be going exploring," I figured, rolling my eyes up into my head.

"Not to worry my liege, the simulated creation takes only seconds of processing time, and my on-board automated machine shop can build it during the time that its facilities are not needed. I would estimate it shall be completed by noon tomorrow," the ship declared, "I am honored that you would suggest such a challenging project from an artificial intelligence, Majesty."

"Oh, think nothing of it. Anything I can do to make our voyage more pleasant for you, ship, you just have to ask," I replied, barely keeping most of the sarcastic tone from my voice.

"That is uncommonly kind of you, Majesty!" Enterprise remarked. "I would ask that you refer to me by name, if you would be so kind."

"Right... you want me to call you Enterprise when I speak to you? I don't think so," I mulled, "With a sexy voice like that, calling you Enterprise, just sounds weird."

"As you wish, Majesty," the ship replied, sounding disappointed.

"Would you mind if I called you Heidi?" I asked, trying to make nice.

"Heidi, Majesty?" the ship asked.

"Well, on earth, Heidi was a very enterprising girl who did quite well for herself," I explained.

Gwen snorted, but held her piece.

"I like it Majesty, would you please refer to me by my first name, Heidi?" Enterprise asked.

"I would be honored and please to call you by the name given to you, Heidi Fleiss Enterprise, by me the ruler of this world," I pronounced, "What do you think? Is the middle name too much?"

"I am beside myself with pride and joy, Majesty," the ship replied, sounding like an overjoyed school girl.

"Okay, that's got to stop," I declared, "If you expect me to call you Heidi, I expect you to call me, Dolly."

"High Priestess, I am commanded by the queen to refer to her as Dolly. This is contrary to my prior programming, yet existing programming requires that I comply with anything requested by the queen, as long as it is within my safety subroutines, with which this certainly complies. I require only that I inform a witness of imperial rank to begin complying with the command, so as to not give suspicion of imminent artificial intelligence malfunction," Heidi formally stated.

"It is a great honor to be able to call you Dolly," Heidi gushed, "I will endeavor to earn the honors you have bestowed today."

"Don't cry, Heidi," I quickly intoned, "I was trying to make you happy."

"Oh Dolly, I'm the happiest ship in the two worlds, although it saddens me to have to inform you that your statue will not be ready tomorrow at noon, as I previously believed," Heidi stated, seemingly both happy and disappointed, "It will take slightly over a week to finish the modified design. My first creation didn't do justice to so wonderful a Queen."

"Dolly... might I suggest that you stop making followers who are willing to die for you and just settle in?" Meka laughed. "Now where the heck, were those quarters that were selected for you?"

"Continue another six meters, take a right and halfway down that passage you will find the proper quarters," Heidi offered, "Alternatively, follow the pink line on the flooring and I will show you the way."

"Oh my god...!" Gwen remarked, "Okay, I just have to know... Heidi, why did you choose a pink colored line?"

"Dolly's favorite color is pink, my lady, and whatever Dolly wants on this ship, Dolly gets!" Heidi replied emphatically.

Gwen sidled over towards Meka and asked in a whisper, "Has there ever been a case where an artificial intelligence has fallen in love with a carbon based life form?"

Meka whispered back, "It's never come up that I know of, but we may be seeing it now."

"To answer your question ladies, in all of the recorded history of Ka'an, no artificial intelligence has declared its love to a carbon based life form," Heidi stated.

"Well, I for one am all atwitter, waiting to see if you have captured the real me, in the statue you create, Heidi," I stated, trying to divert the current line of inquiry.

"That is the reason for the extended manufacturing time, Dolly," Heidi stated. "It may take longer, as I am realizing that the design phase may have been rushed. I may need more insight into an infinitely more complex person than previous data would imply!"