Quality Time Ch. 03

Sarah set up the wet floor sign and started in on her task; back and forth she went across the red and white tile floor. She knew realistically, she couldn't have sex with Chuck any time soon; it would cause too many complications, but she could fantasize about it, something she did too much these days. Even the thought of Chuck thinking about her lewdly, was enough to get her mind firmly in the gutter; she often wondered what Chuck's fantasies were. She knew he fantasized about her; she wasn't stupid, she knew he found her attractive. If she knew what he was into, she could play to those fantasies, give him a real thrill! She could ensure that all of her nerd's thoughts were about her, how he'd want to fuck her, the ways he'd want to please her. She'd make him obsessed with her, without laying a finger on him. Then when the day finally came and they had sex, the tension between them would be apocalyptic.

They'd both just explode into a million tiny pieces from their lustful anticipation, but it would feel so damn good on the way out. Sarah wondered what it was that got Chuck going, maybe it was cleavage? Thigh highs? Short skirts? Pig tails? Whatever it was, she'd do it; she'd drive him mad with lust, fill his mind with nothing, but lustful desire for her. There would be no room in that big brain of his for the damn Intersect after she was done filling his head with lustful desires for her body. Her head was already full of desire for one Charles Irving Bartowski, so it was only fair that his was for her, right? Sarah thought so; the sound of the door opening, pulled Sarah from her dirty musings; Sarah looked over her shoulder and saw Ellie standing in the doorway with a small smile. Sarah gave her friend a big smile and set the mop down in the bucket and turned to face her friend.

"Ellie, what a surprise, what's up?" Sarah said happily as she saw Ellie go in for a hug, Sarah stuck up her hands to stop Ellie. "I wouldn't if I were you, I smell like grease and floor cleaner, not a great combo," Ellie grimaced, which got an agreeable nod from Sarah.

"Gross," Ellie said to Sarah who simply nodded

"Indeed," Sarah said as she wiped her damp hands on her red skirt and motioned for Ellie to go take a seat outside. "I'm taking my break," Sarah called to Scooter before she walked out to join Ellie at a table. Sarah took a seat across from Ellie, and watched the Buy More across the parking lot over Ellie's shoulder; Chuck was over there avoiding her.

"What's up?" Sarah asked again cheerfully, happy to see her friend.

"Just wanted to talk to you, we haven't seen you around for the last few days, and I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was okay," Ellie said in her typically nosy fashion.

"Yeah, I'm good, my ex-boyfriend came into town, and started making a fuss over some documents from my old job in DC, which wasn't great, but we sorted it out," Sarah said the practiced cover story that they'd decided on, like it was a casual thing and not the least enjoyable thing Sarah had done since she'd arrived in Burbank nine months ago. Ellie didn't look too convinced, but she nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah, Chuck told me you've been spending a lot of time with your ex the last few days; he said it was no big deal, but it sure didn't look that way to my brother," Sarah schooled her features, to prevent herself from betraying the terror brewing inside her as Ellie's claws subtly came out with her next words.

"I just wonder if my brother has any reason to worry about you spending so much time with your ex-boyfriend, Bruce," Sarah shook her head no adamantly; this conversation had the potential to be very bad for her cover.

"Chuck has no reason to worry Ellie, I would never do anything to hurt him," Sarah said honestly, Ellie had to believe her right now or this could get very bad for Sarah, very quickly. Ellie had Chuck's ear more than Sarah or Casey did and if Ellie told Chuck that Sarah was lieing to him and wasn't to be trusted... well it could be bad.

"Chuck has a history of his girlfriends spending too much of their time with other men, so I just worry; you can understand I'm sure," Ellie said evenly as she examined the fingernails on her right hand. Sarah leaned back from Ellie in shock, she'd never heard such a venomous tone from the often-kind doctor.

"Ellie, I wouldn't do that; I may be a lot of things, but unfaithful is not one of them," Sarah said nervously, this whole conversation was spiraling out of control.

"All I know, is you spent a lot of time with your ex this week; you weren't at work, you never called Chuck once. We never saw you once all week, it was like you vanished into thin air, Sarah. Chuck doesn't know I'm here right now, but I thought it was time we had a talk, because whatever is happening between you two, is not good," Ellie was very angry with Sarah, that was obvious.

"Ellie, Chuck and I are fine," Sarah said in an attempt to reassure her cover boyfriend's older sister; if anything, her words had the opposite effect on the elder Bartowski.

"Really, because he hasn't looked this depressed since long before you came along Sarah; he spent all week in his damn room sulking when he wasn't out, working. Every time I asked him about you two, he just sighed, and said that you were meeting with your ex about business from your years in DC. Now that seems innocent enough, but after seeing how sad he looks, I have to ask if this business of yours was actual business or just a cheap excuse to turn my wonderful brother into a cuckold!" Ellie said angrily, with fire in her eyes; that was the line for Sarah, that was the last straw that just pissed Sarah off. Sarah stood up angrily.

"How dare you!" Sarah said with a start as Ellie stood up as well; Ellie didn't give an inch.

"I'm sorry, but if the shoe fits, Sarah..." Ellie said with a challenging shrug.

"I would never, ever, EVER cheat on Chuck; I would die before I would betray him like that, especially after everything he's been through. The idea that you could even contemplate that I would do that to him, is hurtful Ellie. Chuck is the most important part of my life, I would never do anything to hurt him, especially not cheat on him for nearly a week straight," Sarah said to the woman who she thought was her best friend, now she understood that her friendship with Ellie only survived as long as Ellie didn't believe that Sarah was hurting Chuck.

"If Chuck is so fucking important to you, then why don't you try telling him that for once!" Ellie shot back to Sarah angrily, Sarah had never heard Ellie swear before, so she was shocked and her face said as much.

"Ellie..."

"What, did I strike a nerve?" Sarah was speechless in the face of Ellie's words. "You say nothing is more important to you than my brother, and yet you let him walk around believing that you've been cuckolding him with your ex-boyfriend! You won't even tell Chuck that you love him Sarah, he doesn't even know if you care about him at all. The only thing he knows for certain, is that it's complicated, and that is the fucking truth," Ellie said as she grabbed her purse and walked away.

"Ellie wait," Sarah called after her; Ellie stopped and turned on her heels to look at Sarah. "I..." Sarah started, before she stopped suddenly and peered over her shoulder at the government camera on the building behind her; the damn cameras were always watching!

"What?" Ellie said back to Sarah.

"I..." Sarah said, unable to reign in her thoughts; Ellie simply shook her head and walked away. Sarah closed her eyes in frustration, and cursed the US Government; they'd made her hurt a great man, and there was nothing she could do about it! Sarah simply stood there and watched Ellie walk back towards her Toyota Camry. Once in her Camry, Ellie brought her phone to her ear and spoke for a brief moment. Sarah was a good twenty-five to thirty yards away from Ellie's car, but she could still lipread most of what Ellie was saying.

"See you tonight, the usual place," That was all Sarah could make out, before Ellie started her car, and drove away. Now alone with her thoughts, Sarah's head simply fell into her hand in emotional exhaustion; this was all too much, this miserable limbo she was forced to live in was horrible for her, and it was destroying Chuck. Sarah had no idea how much longer she could continue this charade. She didn't know how much longer she could continue this act where she pretended not to care about Chuck, but only to the point where he stayed at arm's length; while at the same time, she also gave him enough to keep him interested in her so that she could ultimately have a future with him after the Intersect. It was a selfish balancing act she was playing, and it was hurting them both. The problem was, the alternatives were either impossible or unthinkable. Sarah simply shook her head in misery, and went back inside to continue her shift.

~X~

When Sarah got home from her shift at the Wienerlicious, she'd been disappointed to learn that Chuck had taken one of the Herder's home with him this time. He hadn't even told her he was going home, but that wasn't a total shock after the verbal assault his sister had given her in his defense this afternoon. Sarah was so done with today, she simply wanted to get dressed for bed and sleep her troubles away. All morning, Sarah had been looking forward to getting home from work, so she could finally tame the lust within her, but now she just wanted to curl up in her bed and sleep her troubles away. Chuck was over there in his bedroom wondering if she really cared about him. She'd spent three days with Bryce Larkin, time which Bryce had used to make Chuck miserable. After those three days, Sarah had done less than nothing to dispel Chuck's worries, to wash away his fears that he was losing the girl to the suave spy. Chuck was over there wondering if he was a cuckold as his sister had called him, he wasn't, but the thought gave her pause.

Chuck was a great guy, a guy who loved Sarah Walker almost unconditionally; in return for that love, he'd gotten self-doubt, and insecurity. She needed to go to Chuck and tell him the truth, tell him that she cared, tell him anything to make him see that she wasn't doing to him what he thought she was doing. Sarah had never seen so much venom from Ellie, but the fact that Sarah was supposedly hurting her brother, was more than enough reason to get on Ellie's bad side. As far as Ellie was concerned, Sarah wasn't any better than Jill until Sarah proved otherwise, and Sarah had so far failed to do so. Sarah never should have let things get this far, she should have requested a new assignment months ago, but she couldn't do it, she couldn't leave any of them behind. Even still, Sarah knew she needed to do better by Chuck, he deserved better than the misery he currently had to endure in order to be around her. There was no reason she should be treating him like this, he just plainly deserved better.

As Sarah stepped into the shower to wash away the scent of grease and floor cleaner, she simply stood under the flowing water and let the tension of the day leave her. She knew he was at home, wondering if she was being faithful to their cover relationship, wondering if he was the only one in love. She wanted to simply go over there and give him a tender, comforting hug, just to let him know that she was sorry, and that things would be okay. She couldn't do that though; the cameras would see her do that and she could get reassigned.

"He's worth the risk," Sarah mused to herself, eventually she had to do something in spite of the cameras, she had to do something to show him that he wasn't alone. Part of her wished he were in this shower with her, his tall frame wrapped around her tenderly to keep her warm under the quickly chilling water. Instead, Chuck and Sarah were each alone in their apartments, wondering what the other was thinking, wondering if there was any hope for their relationship, wondering if they even had a future. Regardless of those existential questions, Sarah finished up her long, contemplative shower with a chilled shiver, and stepped out to dry off.

As Sarah stepped out of the bathroom in her comfortable, crimson tank top and boy shorts, she eyed the bed longingly, it was still a tad early for bed by her standards as a spy, but she was so emotionally drained, she just didn't care one iota. Sarah quickly finished up her evening routine, and climbed under her luxurious covers, intent to sleep her heartache away, intent to dream of them both together at last. At least in her dreams she was allowed to love him; in her dreams they had a future more concrete than the next mission.

Sarah relaxed into her comfortable mattress and felt some of the tension leave her, but that was short lived as the sound of her cell phone ringing gave her flashbacks to this morning, when she'd been so close to a different kind of satisfaction. Sarah grumbled and reached out from under her covers and grabbed her phone. Sarah simply answered the call with a groan.

"Walker, is that you?"

"What do you want Casey?" Sarah said with very little enthusiasm.

"Chuck's gone," Sarah was awake and upright in a second.

"What? How? Where is he?" Sarah asked in quick succession.

"Trackers say his watch and phone are in his bedroom, but his herder is currently on the freeway heading east," Casey said seriously, before Sarah heard him begin to move.

"Sit down Casey, I'll take care of this," Sarah said as she got out of bed and grabbed a pair of jeans, she'd worn the day before.

"Like hell you will... Argh! God damn foot!" Casey said angrily into the phone, obviously in a great deal of pain; he'd had a procedure to repair some damage to his ankle and he needed time to heal, moving was not what he needed.

"Sit your ass back down in your chair like your doctor ordered Casey; I've got this, I'm already out the door," Sarah said before she hung up and finished dressing. Sarah slipped the jeans on as well as some ankle socks. She slipped a sheath of knives to her ankle and slipped her trusty pistol into the small of her back. Once her shoes were on her feet, Sarah grabbed her keys and her purse and made for the door. Chuck was either in trouble or up to something; either way, Sarah Walker wasn't going to let anything bad happen to him, not this time.