Rebecca Goes to the Theatre

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She thought to herself that although a girl's best friends were her legs, even the best of friends must part. She giggled to herself at that thought. She also acknowledged that she was just about to be paid cash for sex. Beforehand it had more been about an exchange of gifts. Although intellectually it came to the same thing she was now crossing a boundary. The only thing she hung on to was the fact that she did have some time for this bloke, and he had made her laugh. Besides which, if she was going to be called a whore anyway than she may as well be one.

She kissed him and said, "Tenner's fine provided you use the rubber. A lift to just short of Five Ways would be good for me."

He said, "Be warned. I am going to get my money's worth. It's been a few months."

She couldn't say that she had not been warned. She was taken upstairs and wearing only the fish nets and the football shirt she was asked to lie down on the double bed upstairs.

He had shown her that he had donned the rubber johnny and had then grabbed her legs and spread them as wide apart as he could make them. Rebecca had never been a gymnast. She did not mind walking and she had learnt early on to be just good enough at games to be seen as someone who tried her best without having much talent. The sweet spot which meant she did not have to play hockey or netball after school or at the weekends but was not targeted for being useless at games.

Still, she was clearly more flexible than she had thought. The man (they had not exchanged names- perhaps that suited both of them) relied on the spread of the legs to make her pussy an easy target and luckily he was mostly justified in that assumption. There had been a conversation where she had felt a little like a contestant on the Golden Shot when she had told him, "Up a bit, down a bit, hold it, fire."

She decided after that to think of the man as Bernie the bolt. Once he was fully inside her he thrust away with enthusiasm. She had not really registered his penis size as at that time she still did not have that much experience. A year later she suspected that the man had felt insecure and so was doing his best to ensure maximum penetration.

She decided to roleplay being an enthusiastic amateur working girl as she was starting to feel the tiredness setting in and she had already done about four hours walking in heels. She shouted out her appreciation of his efforts and he responded to the flattery. Eventually he let go off her legs and seized her hips. She was relieved as she was not used to doing the splits. She wrapped her legs around him and tried to use them to help his thrusts into her go deeper. He appreciated the effort and ten minutes later he finally ejaculated into the contraceptive and lay on the bed gasping for air. "Babe. I think I've just done the sexual equivalent of a four-minute mile."

"Should I call you Roger?"

He laughed, "You are wasted at the amateur level, duck. While you may not be good enough to play for Baggies or Villa, you certainly are good enough to play for City in the ranks of the ladies of negotiable virtue."

She had laughed and said, "Are you offering to find me an agent?"

A laugh and then a pause. "Sorry, I'm afraid I don't have the contacts. I would not normally be able to afford anyone like you."

He too needed his sleep and in quarter of an hour she had put on her now only slightly damp clothing as opposed to saturated and was in his car. She had given back the football shirt and he had sniffed it as he had accepted its return.

They had chatted if only to make certain that he stayed awake. She had made one mistake when she had done a Vivien leigh impersonation and referred to relying on the kindness of strangers. The man had glanced at her with a quizzical look. She had laughed it off as something she had heard in a film which he seemed to accept. She mentally kicked herself. She really should stop showing off if she was going to play Terry. Real life was not like an English essay where you threw in the quotes to show that you had actually understood as well as read the text.

He stopped the car where she asked him to and gave her a kiss. It had temporarily stopped raining, so she had him drop her off half a mile from home. Of course, within three minutes the heavens had opened again and when she rang the bell at Marion's she was soaked through again.

She was surprised when the bell was instantly answered, and her mom's friend clutched her in her arms. "Becca, I was so worried. Are you OK? Stupid question, are you as well as can reasonably be expected."

She then whispered, "One of your teachers is here. Apparently the police found your student bus pass and your school library ticket in your handbag at the site of an accident."

Rebecca tensed. She had the glimmerings of a plan but had not thought through all the angles.

She then seized on the word accident. Perhaps she had an out.

She asked Mr Hampton, "How is Alex?"

"Unconscious, but they think he will be OK in the end."

She thought to herself that she now had the opportunity to get her retaliation in first.

"I thought that he had drunk too much. That's why I decided to walk home. He was not happy about that and would not let me have my handbag so I could get a bus or a taxi."

/------------------------/

Alan remembered that night. He had been called up by the headmaster. One of the upper sixth had been involved in a car crash. At first apart from the fact that he was clearly drunk, the police had left it to the ambulance service to take him to hospital. Apparently he was expected to be basically OK in a few days' time.

What had alarmed the police and the headmaster was that in the car they had found a bra and a handbag, but no girl. There was no address in the handbag, but there was bus pass and a school library card. Fortunately, as far as the school was concerned the duty officer had a brother who had attended the school and had called the headmaster. He was not certain what combination of headmaster; deputy heads and school secretary had resulted in him being the designated person to call on the address they had for the girl. He suspected that as he had sung her praises in the staff common room, he was decided to be the right person to check on whether she was OK.

To his surprise the school only had an address for her and not a telephone number. Still, it was not far from where he lived and at 1 in the morning he rang the doorbell. He waited a minute and then rang again. He heard footsteps and a bleary-eyed woman of around forty dressed in a night gown answered the bell. "Rebecca, did you forget your key" was the phrase he heard as the door was opened.

The woman blinked and said, "I think you have the wrong address." She then looked at him "Actually as far as I am concerned this is the right address. Come on in while we discuss matters." She winked outrageously at him and took him through to the kitchen where she offered him a choice of beer and tea.

He accepted the beer and tried to avoid noticing that the woman had untied the knot of her dressing gown to reveal that she was wearing a negligee which left little to the imagination.

He coughed and said, "Are you Rebecca's mother?"

The woman first burst into laughter and then sobered up. "I'm an honorary auntie. I was her mom's best female friend. Are you the police? Has something happened to her?"

"I'm from the school. We don't know whether something has happened to her or not. Her handbag was found in a car which crashed into a lamppost ten miles away. The driver was a member of the upper sixth. It appeared that he had been to see a play at Malvern today."

The woman blanched, "Rebecca said that she was going to see a play with a boy."

She looked out of the window as the rain pelted down and said, "She didn't take a coat as the boy told her that he would give her a lift back."

"Have you heard from her tonight?"

"No, but I was out until 11 with some mates."

The woman had then started crying and he heard about how Rebecca's mom had died in a car crash along with her husband and another man where a drunk driver had driven the other car. He also heard that Rebecca's father had basically disowned her. The woman was clearly scared that Rebecca was dead.

He was not certain how long they waited for the girl and for news. He had let the headmaster know that he was at the right address and made a note of the phone number for the records. He had listened to the half cut woman talk about Rebecca and had tried to comfort her without risking being unfaithful to his fiancée.

The girl had finally arrived and looked soaked to the skin. She had no coat and also looked cold. She had asked after Alex which was good of her considering what she then told him and her aunt Marion.

Leaving a girl with no money more than ten miles from home was not the act of a gentleman. Luckily for him Marion had raised the missing bra first.

The girl said, "He stopped in a car park next to a brickworks and wanted a kiss and a cuddle. He had paid all evening and it seemed only fair enough to let him play with my breasts. Besides which I hoped that he would sober up slightly.

Unfortunately, he had a flask with him, and he drank out of that after..."

The voice had trailed off. Marion had hugged the girl, "We've all been there, luv."

Rebecca said, "Look. It was only a hand job. I hoped that would either satisfy him or that he would fall asleep afterwards." The girl had again paused.

"Mr Hampton, I don't what I tell you now to go any further. We both know that no one would want to believe me and that it would be bad publicity for the school. He told me that unless I had sex with him he was going to leave me there. He also said that I might as well have sex with him as he was going to tell everyone on Monday that he had bonked me."

The girl had started crying and he had put his arm around her. Marion was there as a chaperone, and it seemed like she needed the comfort of another human. He was uncomfortably unaware that her breasts felt firm against his chest and that her legs were worth a good luck. She slightly reminded him of his fiancée, and he wished that she took the view that a feel of her breasts and a hand job was a suitable reward for a good date. He was thus inclined to take Rebecca's side.

Gradually the story came out and he felt sorry for the young woman. He had called the headmaster and half an hour later James Roberts had come round. James was an old head boy of the school and worked for one of the leading Birmingham law firms. Favours were called in and the official police report was amended so as not to refer to the bra.

A few days later Alex was expelled, offcially for drunk driving and his father had been unwilling to challenge this decision. Perhaps there had been other incidents in the past, but he was happy to go with the story that his son's date had voluntarily left the car because she was scared that Alex would crash his car and that Alex had drove off in a huff.

Still the image of the young woman in fishnets, a shortish skirt and a black jumper saying that she knew that there was no point in her telling the police what Alex had actually said to her and wanted to do to her and agreeing a story with him the headmaster and James before the police came round and took her statement stuck with him. The problem was that when she described to him and Marion Alex's demand that she bend over the bonnet of his car and let him have sex with her it had caused his dick to rise at the thought.

He knew that he would never act on it but was alarmed that he was no longer certain whether his sexual fantasies were about having sex with his fiancée or with Rebecca. Actually, a combination of both was probably the answer.

Still he knew he had to be careful around her.

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LetsMisBehaveLetsMisBehave8 months agoAuthor

Thank you both for commenting. I think the fundamental problem with my story is that it really wasn't an erotic coupling story, and most of it belonged in non-consent/reluctance, but for the fact the main character escaped those situations.

I have no problem with hearing that I failed as an author to convey what I meant or that the execution was inadequate,

The problem is that most of the story happens inside the main character's head. She is meant to be a young woman who, for various reasons, does not understand the social norms and hypocrisies everyone else follows and is hesitant to trust people.

I moved as much as I thought I could convincingly get away with of the mistakes in dealing with others to the dialogue between her and Claire and, in particular, the transactional aspects of dating,

Again, this is my failure as a writer, but I thought the title would suggest that the character's journey was to be be paid for sex for the first time. Everyone she dealt with that night assumed she was for hire. She only accepted it when she was exhausted, resigned to thinking that everyone she knew would think she was a whore, and a man treated her with kindness despite the fact he thought she was a whore.

In that context, as far as most of the men she was dealing with were concerned, she was just someone to have sex with, and she wanted to preserve some dignity. The man who gave her a lift treated her as a human being, and her teacher treated her as someone who deserved support. He also felt guilty about being attracted to her.

I agree that the description of the plot of Measure for Measure went on for too long, but the theme was central to the story; it reinforced her belief that no one would believe her about the attempted rape.

The stories about the earlier dates were meant to establish (a) her social awkwardness, (b) suggest that the attempted rapist had believed the lies told by his classmates and (c) show that when treated with respect, she would respond in kind.

On the first sex scene, fair comment. I should have written the enjoyment factor from the man's point of view and then later had her musing about the mechanics as a character point. The story starts out with her becoming the paid companion of an older man. and her engaging brain as to how to keep him interested. i then revert back to the story of why an intelligent young woman thinks that this is the best option available for her.

I would like to repeat that I welcome your comments; they will help me write more effectively in future. The fact I failed to convey what I intended to is down to me.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

If I had to describe this story in one word, it would be "unfocused." Characters are introduced without any explanation of who they are, then disappear entirely shortly afterward. Plot threats are started and abandoned. Inconsequential details litter the narrative (like the plot summary of Measure for Measure) and do nothing to move the story forward. The third person perspective hops from one person to the next seemingly for no reason. It's just all over the place.

***

Your preface says that you like a slow build with backstory and character development. That's all well and good, but backstory needs to serve a larger purpose. It needs to drive the story forward. Every detail you include, every conversation, should do *something*: create tension, drive the narrative forward, introduce another obstacle for the protagonist, etc. The details in this story just feel like padding.

***

Here are some practical suggestions for future stories:

- Start right away with a specific hook to engage the reader. Give them a reason to want to keep reading.

-Show, don't tell. A good way to do that is to use more dialog rather than narration. Your story shouldn't be "this happened, then this happened, then this happened."

-Stay focused. Define the stakes early and stick to them. What is the main obstacle your character is trying to overcome? Make sure everything else in the story drives toward a resolution.

- Develop deeper, meaningful relationships between characters. Almost every character in this story is nothing more than a sexual encounter for Rebecca. If we are to get to know your characters and, more importantly, care for them, then they need to interact with each other in meaningful ways. They need to have wants and desires that are in conflict with one another.

Keep at it and good luck with your future stories.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

"He started to play with her breasts, and she started to ride him in earnest. She experimented on mixing the up and down movement with side-to-side movements. She gradually increased the pace, and he responded by thrusting upwards into her. She gasped and started to breathe more heavily. After a few minutes of this he pulled her upper body towards him and lifted his own torso upwards and started to suck her breasts and in particular her nipples. This reduced the range of movement available to her, but it seemed to be what they each needed for the time being. Gradually his head went back closer to the floor, but her breasts followed him down. He kept a hand on her lower back to help keep her in the saddle. Clearly he had an engineering background to think about that.

She had actually orgasmed while he was sucking her breasts and he had looked at her with enquiring eyes. "Are you Ok? Your eyes rolled around in your head.""

This has to be the driest, most unsexy list of "he did that and she did this" sex scene I have ever read. I don't have time to explain it all, but I suggest you read some highly-rated stories and see how it's done.

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