All Comments on 'Salvation'

Hi! Thank you for reading this story. I would appreciate any feedback or comments.

I am considering expanding Salvation to a trilogy.

Is she a demon???

(Good story! I liked their disparate viewpoints, would have liked to have heard more from her.)

Unique setting and an interesting interplay between his religious beliefs and what his body wants. In a number of places there are incorrect words or typos - perhaps the author is not a native speaker of English. A proof-reader would be helpful. I won't forget this story for a long time!

Excellent story, but I agree with the previous commentator that better proof-reading would be helpful. Some examples follow (would send them as private feedback but this is blocked for those who are not registered). This is not an exhaustive list of issues, but gives some examples of wording that jar the reader and mar the storytelling.

Story: Standing at one of the highest pinnacles erected on top of the ridge of the mountain.

Comment: ERECTED implies built by man, such as erecting a cairn on a mountain peak. Suggest LOCATED.

Story: Gliding in large circles without moving the wings framed on that beautiful landscape.

Comment: WITHOUT MOVING THE WINGS FRAMED should be something like WITHOUT MOVING ITS WINGS OVER

Story: She took the price out.

Comment: She took HIS PRICK out.

Story: both hands landing slowly on the wings on her skin

Comment: I don’t know what is meant by WINGS ON HER SKIN.

Story: large amount of fluid being segregated and starting to leak out her cunt.

Comment: SEGREGATED is used where SECRETED is probably meant

Story: She swinged backwards not letting the fucking stop.

Comment: SWINGED should be SWUNG

Story: The cum came out while she was still moving and, mixed with her liquids, sprouted in all directions.

Comment: SPROUTED should be SPOUTED.

I must confess that I did not know the word abseil. I had to look it up when you used it for the fifth time. I figured it meant rappel and found that the difference is in the anchor point, with abseiling using a feature of the climb, while rappelling uses another climber as the anchor. Now I know.

Obviously I do not climb, but I still enjoyed the story, from someone who knows the sport a lot better than I do.

When I was young I went on a multi-day hike with my dad. The trail was called "The Highlands" so we had to climb, though not with ropes. When we came to an overlook we saw a red canoe meandering down a small river. The next year we paddled.

I hope you find a better translator, since you have talent as a story teller.

Thank you all for your comments. As a short announcement, I have re-submitted an editted version after the comments provided by Anonymous. This to improve the experience of future readers.

If you, Anonymous, or any other English-native-speaker would volunteer with prof-reading the sequel to this one, let me know as I am looking for editors.