Secrets

He really needed to talk to Amber and tell her that they were over. He didn't feel right about lying to her after he actually acted out his wishes. He hadn't realized how truly awful it felt to know he'd done something so wrong. No matter how good it felt, he still was bothered by the fact that he had done it. What he had already done there was nothing he could do about, but he could prevent her from being hurt again by him.

So he curled up in bed, deciding to take a nap and then call her and talk to her. He didn't know yet what he'd tell her, but he knew that he'd figure it out because he couldn't spend the rest of his life lying to her. Despite not being romantically in love with Amber, he did actually love her like a best friend and he couldn't stand the thought that he had done something to hurt her. He had never imagined that it'd feel so awful to cheat on her, but he was kind of glad that it did. He realized after it all was over that just because she didn't know for sure, she could always think it. She could always feel like it was her fault, something she had done. She could even think I just cheated on her with a woman and it wasn't like that at all.

Honestly, if it had been anyone else but Benjamin he probably would've said no--maybe not in the future, he couldn't tell that for sure. If anyone else had of came onto him he would've declined, mainly because he wasn't sure about everything yet but he knew that the feeling he'd gotten from Benjamin last night was something that he could never forget, nor live without. He couldn't spend the rest of his life feeling ashamed.

Benjamin was right--there's nothing really to be ashamed about, nor was there anything to worry about with appearances either. Because at the end of the day, only your family and friends matter. Noah knew his friends would not care either way and now that he'd talked to Benjamin he knew his dad wouldn't either.

Noah felt free, for the first time in his life. He felt the taste of true freedom. He was alive with excitement at the prospects of his future. His phone dinged and he picked it up. A number that wasn't in his contacts yet had sent him a message: Hey Noah, had an amazing time with you last night. Let's do it again sometime. Excitement raced in his chest as he buried his face in his pillow for a minute to stifle his need to smile.

He sent back a quick You bet! Sunday at 9? He got a smiley face and a thumbs up in response, with a message saying he had to get to work now, but he'd text him later. Noah reached up to his arms where the man's hoodie was on his body, hanging loosely around his frame while he laid there. He felt so safe in the hoodie he'd intentionally taken, with a very small intention of giving it back. He didn't think it was likely. He sighed and sat his phone down on the bed beside him and forced his mind to shut off so he could get some sleep.

After a couple of hits on his pen, things were starting to get hazier and hazier until he finally fell asleep, with a happiness he hadn't felt in a long time pooling in his chest. He couldn't wait to see the man again, and hopefully, have more sex because that was fucking amazing, and Noah could still feel Benjamin on his skin. Noah was absolutely star-struck by the man, and he couldn't wait until Sunday night to come.