All Comments on 'Separate Vacations'

You are a fine author but your characters are pretty much unbelievable.

Harry in VA has it pegged.

I see another problem here. I assume that you have some business and law experience but your attorneys could be from another planet. Hubby would not have had any trouble finding a strong firm to handle his divorce. They would have had her pay for their fees. Second, I have known some bad attorneys, but none of them would have been intimidated by the opposition. Divorce law is not that complicated.

I often read here how an author needs an editor. You need someone to help you write about believable men.

The writing was good with few mistakes. At least once, Bruce was called, "Stephen," and there were a few other errors, but all-in-all, it flowed nicely, so I gave it 4/5. But I agree with others that the sudden about-face, where Bruce was really and finally over Tiffany, but then, in a heartbeat, decided to remarry her despite their entire history of conflict, was just not credible. It takes more than good sex to maintain a marital relationship. Now the plot holes (and by no means, all of them): 1) Even assuming Tiffany had a concealed-carry permit, it is clear that there was no threat to her life or indication of imminent great bodily harm. Therefore, she had no lawful right to draw a gun or make threats with it. 2) Bruce's "alibi" would not hold water after Stephen's clothing was analyzed for DNA samples -- his assailant would be proven to have been Bruce. 3) The story indicated that Tiffany's (and Bruce's) home cost one million dollars and they could only afford to keep it on Bruce's salary because Tiffany put 50% down. But a $500,000 loan over 30 years at 4.25% interest equals a monthly payment of $4,074 (nearly $50,000 yearly). Adding taxes, utilities, home repairs, and maintenance, and there is no way an employee at Blockbuster Video, even a regional manager, would be able to afford this. 4) Since Bruce won't date a married woman (because he won't be an enabler for cheating), it is ludicrous to think he would date Candy in a serious way (which he implied when he asked her out). She cheated repeatedly with Bruce's boss at the ad agency, so why would Bruce want any kind of relationship with a proven cheater, never mind the big tits? I enjoyed the movie "Independence Day" despite the fact that a Windows virus would not infect an alien computer system. And I still enjoyed "Separate Vacations" despite the unbelievable reconciliation and plot holes. I agree with others that the male lead seems wimpish -- Karate aside -- with respect to his behavior towards his ex. I wonder if a future story might show a truly strong male who is not bowled over by 42DD's? WWWM is certainly not that story -- can you perhaps write one such in the future? Thanks for writing.

marital failure to communicate, big dicked bad boys seduce the oversexed wife, a fucking shocking fist fight, everyone cheats and he takes her back.

What did I ever see in your stories?

I hope your personal qualities are better than your stories!

Turtle

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=379420

here is a nice story like WWWM & This one

I just wish DQS1 end WWWM like this one

Yeah dude. Don't you know we have new definitions for cheating now.

Her lipstick was smeared where Stephen stole a kiss in front of the children. That's cheating. Dude, you are an idiot!! She didn't spend the money to bring her deadbeat husband along to meet and socialize with her business associates. That's cheating, Dude. She had known Stephen since she was a little girl. It's obvious she fucked him because he was there and hubby wasn't, Dude.

I wonder what kind of comments I'd get if I copy/pasted DQS's stories, and reversed the genders of the main characters. It would be read as spousal abuse, I guess. The old double standard.

As for the phonecalls, isn't that stalking? Especially after Bruce got a new number and Tiffany calls him again and again? If he told the cops, and they made a copy of that (or heard for themselves), it'd go rather badly for her.

One reader commented on his stoires that he always goes for reconc, thta is not problem here, Problem with DQS is that in his story. Love of of wife is Love, (even if she cheats, she forgot, she abuse her husband, she slaps him, she humiliiate him, she divorced him, she put restraining order against him,) but love of Husband is Joke, which means nothing, if wife loves husband and wants him back, they WILL reconcile, no matter what, on the other side, it does not matter, if husband loves or not, he will get over everything, to just be in that pussy which makes him pussy. Slut wife is considered always more intelligegnt and Husband with fake ethical and moral values. I still dont understand, why a man whose wife cheated on him, still thinks that it is cheating if he sleeps with other woman, even it is clear from wife they are not getting together, and other people think of him as very high value person, is not marriage about only wife and husband, does that sign on papers are approval from god, i dont say you should go and get revenge, but dont use these formalities as excuse to show off yourself as bigger person, it is so sick, you almost sound, wimpy, sick, creampie lover who is still waiting for wife to spread legs so that hubby can put his tounge there and feel real man's cum. For once in a while, write about arrogant bastard who is morally high valued person but does not give damn to what ethically wrong is.

Two people in love fight only when they think there are another forces outside which keep them together, love does not need someone else's permission or approval, you just have try and keep trying, how could you not love somebody who loves you. I think making debbie slut before marriage only makes it easier for readers to swallow reconcilation. Reading these stories only thing i recall is x-rated movies with some stories, I always laugh on thosse story and get horny on sex, and thats it.

I am entertained not only reading DSQ stories, but also the comments to those stories. There are always tons of interesting comments. I think that's because these stories are almost always seriously flawed. There are authors in this genre who write great stories most of the time (for instance, Harddaysnight, Ohio, Longhorn 07), where I wouldn't change a word. But with DSQ stories, after I read them, I usually find myself entertained yet also wanting to rip my hair out because I'm frustrated about some aspects of the story. This story is a perfect example of that.

Here's a quote I saw from an earlier comment:

"I'm seeing a pattern with DQS stories. His characters are often caricatures of real people. Emotions and actions are over the top as well as the tits and dicks. This makes for difficult reconciliations."

I have to agree with that too. As some people are pointing out, DQS tends to wallow in some of the most cliched cliches about this genre (Jesus Christ, can anyone in DQS World resist a big cock or a big rack?!). And things are often way over the top. If the goal is to write stories that'll generate a lot of comments, DQS is wildly successful. But if the goal is to write stories that are great instead of just good, he has fallen short again with this story.

Generally speaking, I bought the reconciliation. I can see the psychology behind it. But some over the top elements (the phone calls about the big dicked lover, repeatedly humiliating him with hurtful comments even on the night of their so called reconciliation, bringing the gun to the final scene, etc) very nearly ruined it. Why the overkill?!

Generally speaking, I keep seeing cheap writing tricks to up the emotional drama that are totally unnecessary and actually hurt the story. For instance, why does she have to confront him at the end in front of a large crowd of people during his celebration party? That's designed to up the emotional drama of the climax, but it's really just an over the top trick that makes her come off as potentially mentally deranged. She could have spoken to him at any time. Why couldn't she wait to talk to him in private?! DQS, your writing is good enough that you shouldn't have to rely on these kinds of cheap tricks to get the readers emotionally engaged.

DQS, here's a recommendation: contact some of the commentators that you find the most insightful. Assuming that they're willing, send them the drafts of your future stories BEFORE you publish them. Then please listen to their advice. You stories will be soooo much better if you make that effort.

Also, I want to point out that I think this story would have been much better if there was more to the reconciliation. More talking and less gun waving, please! She says she realizes she was totally wrong, but it's such an abrupt turn around that it's hard to believe, based on so few words. (And in fact, about half of her so-called apology is actually a threat to kill him if he misbehaves! Talk about over the top soap opera drama queens!) For instance, did she ever really get what she did with the Hawaii trip was wrong? The last time she saw him, she said she didn't actually have sex with Steve in Hawaii, as if that should settle the issue. Is that what she still thinks, that what she did on her Hawaii trip was fine, as long as she and Steve didn't actually fuck? If so, their reconciliation is doomed to failure. Thanks to the rushed ending, we haven't been given enough information to be able to fully know what to think about such things.

Again, if the only goal is to get an emotional reaction from the reader, keep writing stories with confused, contradictory, and/or rushed endings. It'll inspire lots of heated discussion. Or you can aspire to write a better story that probably won't generate so many comments, because it doesn't have so many flaws and loose ends to debate. I hope you choose the latter! Every time I read a DQS story, I get the feeling it could have been truly great if only there was a reviewer or two who was able to talk the author out of some of his worst excesses before the story was posted. I don't have that feeling about any other authors in this genre.

Size14shoe... as someone who can't stand harryin va I enjoyed reading your posts. But now for the first time I am beginning to see so many seem to hate you.

Your sarcastic post about cheating makes you look like a serious asshole... because you intentionally distort the argument that she did cheat in Mexico.

First you say she was trying to get the husband to shape up. So how does the wife saying. " i want to fuck stephen... " help in that goal? To qoute harry how could leave out that KEY part of what she said. Are you really this stupid???

Lets assume that the wife really did what him to "shape up". WHY? Was the husband a drunk? Did he over work or neglect her or the kids? No! His sin was SHE was ashamed of his dream to become a writer. So her effort to get him to "shape up" as you put it was totally unjustified.

And you never mentioned why now the husband had to come up with $8000 for his side of the vacation.

Sir when you start lying about what actually happened in the story that looks bad.

Some of you have said that he was forced to take her back because of the gun.That's not true.She said she would blow his balls off if they got back together and he cheated. Actually she said the ball was in his court and was leaving the room. The dumb broad with big tits smacked him in the back of the head and said go get her. My friends would not have allowed me to leave the table. Would yours? They would have tackled me to prevent it. After they downed their drinks and checked their underwear, they would mention getting the kids away from crazy momma. He was not forced, the dumb bastard was still in love. But that does not matter. Within a year he will be found with six bullet-holes in his chest, because of an innocent kiss on the cheek from a female.Crazy ex-wives with guns are the things mens nightmares are made of. By the way SIZE 14, they were alone when the lipstick was smeared. Read the fucking story,or be quiet, or both.

its obvious you suck? like the guy said. if he reposted this story but changed the gender of the stars, this would read as stalking, abuse, and anything else that comes to mind. so does he get to shoot her in the vag if she gets caught screwing around on him? because thats only fair. haha, thats so true that if the wife still loves him even after trying her best to emasculate him, humiliate him, basically make him miserable, everything is fine and they reconcile but if the husband still loves her but she doesnt, then i guess ole hubby is fucked. ya know, i guess i shouldnt be surprised since everyone of your stories are fucking stupid, but i was honestly surprised that you made him that much of a pussy. so despite his best intentions the ENTIRETY of their fucking marriage, she still fucks him over and then does what would normally result in jail time and finally says " maybe your right about me being bat shit crazy so im gonna give you a chance but im not stupid, if you ever cheat on me, im gonna shoot your dick/balls off with my .38" just so any assholes out there think im a torch the bitch kind of guy, im not. im a realist and the there is no fucking way this couple would get back together. shes giving him a chance!? fuck that, he gave her so many fucking chances, its pathetic and this is how it ends!? with her fucking any number of guys-that guys that have bigger dicks than him apparently- but after a couple yrs gets tired of big dicks and wants him back and she fucking threatens him? DSQ, i hope you suddenly lose all imaginative ideas because you write the stupidest fucking stories and im tired of all these fucking husbands being pussies and how you always try to put everything on the husband. yea i know this character did leave and did stand his ground but at the first sign of tiff not being fucking retarded, he ran to take her back. DSQ did make it seem like bruce should have changed or done whatever. not as much as his other stories, but it was still there. so in final, if you dont like my comments which im sure most wont, then you can go fuck yourself because they are honestly how i feel. also, WWWM is taking so fucking long that im just gonna stop reading because its clear you have no idea where to take it and now youre just rambling on. also, his wife in that story was so fucked up that despite whatever therapy you write about her getting, i hope she ends up bitter and alone because thats all she deserves. :) thanks for reading! haha

with anything Harddaysknight said. First, who could disagree that DQS is a very talented writer? His stories are powerfully emotional, and we find ourselves reading them more than once (at least). They stick in our minds.

Second--there are several repeated themes that have begun to seem almost like obsessions in DQS's work: big tits, a rival for the husband who invariably has a big dick and fucks like Superman, and (at least in this story) husbands who can't detach themselves from the women who are hurting them.

I mean, really? Hang up the phone, guy! You have to stay on the line--not once but three times--while your ex-wife moans and groans as she fucks her current well-hung lover? And then destroy your cell-phone?

It is because his writing is so good, and because the stories in most respect seem so powerful and realistic, that the occasional unrealistic aspects bother me so much. In a kind of backwards way, that is a great compliment to DQS's talent.

Thanks, ohio

I love your stories and this was certainly no exception.

Size 14 has no concept of reality and chooses to ignore the obvious facts of any story while pathetically trying to justify any slut wife's cheating. What a waste of oxygen.

Big Titty and Huge Dick always win, others should be happy with what they have.

Small dick does not deserve beautiful woman. They should just die.

Why it is OK for a woman to be with a man who hit on her, knowingly she is married, obviously he does not respect marriage. Why would a woman knowingly go into relationship which already knows is not going to last?

In DQS1 sories, to me a woman always lack for words which I would consider for reconcilation.

"I loved having sex with him, but I never loved him like I loved you"

and hubby should be grateful about it? did not she just say, she loved sex with HIM more? did not she just said she loved HIM? I dont understand what does it mean "Like I loved you".

she did not say sex with him was not worth losing you. Stupid hubby just fall into that. What could we say, he was small dick, and they dont have choice do they?

another great story!!!! keep up the good work!!!!!

And what was he expecting coupl of foot, dicks are bigger by inches, man. what pitfull hubby, so desperate to be with very selfish and slut woman, that he ignore everything she said.

a new story of mine will post the same day WWWM chapter whatever comes out. I wonder if other writers have the same fear? We may have to request Q's schedule so the rest of us know when it is safe to post a story that readers will take the time away from WWWM to actually read! This is a hell of a thing!

While I enjoy DQS's writing, if I see you both post a story on the same day I'll read your's first. I know that it will be a complete story and will likely have some humor. It will not be predictable and will not meander for months. Then I'll read the next chapter of WWWM. I wish there were more writers like you and Ohio we don't have the talent.

This was really bad. Your male characters are pathetic, and your female characters are invariably unbelievle whores who seem to never think about anything but that next cock they desperately need in all three holes (preferably a big one!). LOL. No man would want this woman for a wife, and no woman would act like this.

And then shoot herself, better ending. A truly great story until the ending. Known too many head cases for this to be believable, they NEVER see their own problems, even after years of therapy.

Jerry in Washington State, USA - I didn't notice this story for over a week because I was so dialed in waiting for the next WWWM chapter. I like the story "enough" but just couldn't get into the characters. I just couldn't relate to a husband accepting a marriage that wasn't a real partnership from the very beginning. So I felt he got what he deserved during much of the so-called marriage. The wife was never a true loving wife, so I have no faith in the ending of this story where everything is going to be great.

I am so thrilled whenever I discover and wallow in a great short story artist..whether it be classic short story writers like Jackson or Bierce, or King, or Poe, or a writer such as Mr. Steele...as well as some other authors on Literotica. Ah such a delicious jaunt. Thank you Mr. Steele.

Your stories always have weak men and strong women. All your heroes are cuckolds, and always will be. You do have inventive story lines, so that's your saving grace.

Thanks, I read many storties and this is a great story. I really enjoyed it and read it twice. You had him do all the right things a man should do when a woman acts and hurts him this way, I know, I did the same. When she said are "you're not going to say I love you, we never have ended ..." I would have said, I did not when I hung up the first night, you didn't on the second call, there is a first time for everything Tiff, like a family vacation but without the whole family and the husband replaced with another man, good night, and hung up. The ending was a bit questionable. But it is one of the best stories of a guy finding his strength, accepting no more nonesense and ending a mistake and teaching a needed lesson. I appreciate your effort.

....and yet I keep coming back for more. Apparently, I'm just as fucked-up as the characters you write about. I guess it's true, "We can smell our own!" Keep 'em coming.

Your stories have always caught my eye, dealing realistically (as they do) with people trying to cope with the most destructive thing that can happen to a marriage. What sets them all apart is the way you consistently try to address the underlying emotional issues that propel a spouse to consider infidelity, even if they haven't actually started fucking someone else, yet.

This story, in particular, presents a balanced view of a man willing to sacrifice almost everything for the woman he loves, but who does have his limits, and a woman so damaged by her childhood traumas that it isn't until she pushes him past the limit that she even realizes there is one.

Possessing a "Y" chromosome myself, I did especially enjoy the novelty of her "crawling" back to him.

I've enjoyed this story enough to read it four times. Keep up the good work!

Had to read this again to alleviate my/your withdrawal of new reading material. This is a great story and would love to see you go further with some of these characters...in fact I'd like to see you do that with most of your characters.

Hope all is well. Hoping you'll keep posting too.

Rob

Their entire marriage was based on one thing only, money, her money. I can't begin to imagine what would the treatments Tiff would heap upon Bruce had the guy lost his job. What if he lost his job and had a serious medical emergency which required multi-month treatments? Tiff would replace Bruce in a heart beat. She walked away from him on the vacation. She would walked away from him, had he lost his job.

Bruce should give it a test run. With the help of his agency and friends, Bruce should fake being laid off, see what would Tiff's reactions be.

A great story it just sucked me in.....Luved the characters and cared about them.... As they say Character is plot

Keep it up

I fear the the epic novel he's writing will have the same awful ending, despite the fantasic chapters that exist so far.

On one promise, after fucking up his life, after insulting him, embarrassing him, taking his manhood away, and making a joke of him. All of a sudden he believes her, and thinks this is what he wanted all the time. She has once more mastered him, manipulated him. What a joke hero you have written, once a wuss always a wuss.

Why didn't he just record the obscene phone calls from his wife and bring them to her boss? Was he a total wimp, an idiot or both?

Marriage gets to the point where wife goes alone on a month long vacation with a pussy hound she wants to bed, new boy friend flaunts relationship in front of husband, wife screws new guy in front of husband (figuratively cause its over the phone), and finally after years apart couple remeets and husband relents to getting back with wife, basically cause NOW she'll finally share a joint checking account with hubbie?!?!?! Gee, what a victory you've won hubbie; you've whored your wife out to prove you're THE man. Author, have you no concept of male self worth? You think any guy is gonna let other guys screw his wife for years and then settle up with her based on resolving some trivial household issues as a symbol that she'll finally let him wear the pants in the family? You're nuts. All you've done is replace power issues with infidelity, trust and cuckolding issues and wasted a big chunk of your respective lives proving you're both petty, pigheaded, and stupid white trash by cutting off both your noses to spite your faces, trashing your marriage to prove a point that should have been solveable through some mutual compromises. And whether you realize it or not hubbie, the mother WON. She was a psycho and she manipulated both of you into playing HER games by creating problems, blaming them on you, and you accepting resposibility for them. THAT'S WHAT PSYCHOS DO, EVEN FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. Mom's problems controlled both your lives and SHE won cause you let wifie go with other guys, wreck your marriage cause you pigheadedly wouldn't change jobs when wifie asked (which you finally did anyways but too late for the marriage)), and then you were willing to take her back with both of you actually accepting more psycho baggage this time around (witness the gun and all the soap opera sex). And the idea that instead of teaching you're working as a Blockbuster "regional troubleshooter" for freedom time wise is ridiculous since you'd be putting in way more time working in retail than if you taught at any level; the private sector expects a profit and results, not ivory towers.

I would not have taken her back at all, she was not only a slut, but she did not trust him at all. If she were alone and not have had sex with anyone than I would have taken her back as soon as she decided to give herself to me, but otherwise I would have told her to kiss my rear end, and so would any real man.

Thanks DQS!

Your continued brillance at writing the GAN has me spellbound and looking forward to any future work.

If you ever have some work published, please let us know....I'd be first in line to buy it!

C

Too often, particularly with stories in this genre, a split happens because a woman cheats or threatens to cheat. In this story, the reason is contempt, pure and simple. In fact, I would argue that frequently, the contempt precedes the cheating, being the important cause. So it was here with Stephen and Tiffany. She has contempt for her husband and THEN thinks, not about cheating, but treating him shabbily with the threat of cheating.

I disagree with the critics about his strength of will. He stayed and made a strong go of it. His reasons for leaving were subtle and not easily definable. He sees things for how they are. He leaves honorably and completely. Not leaving things hanging. Not whining and begging. Doing what he needs to do.

And even AFTER mind blowing sex, he stands by his guns. I know a number of guys would would succumb, mistaking passion for love. He does not.

The reconciliation makes sense to me, even if she put her gun caveat in there. She is still a person too. It is a compromise.

To the critiques:

He should have hung up every time she rang in with the hot and heavies. Or better, recorded one and sent it via email to her co-workers. He did NOT have to give her his cell number. The could have coordinated the kid pick up by email. He looks like an idiot here.

I've read When We Were Married by You first then.

I read a few other stories but this is an Awsome Story.

I like the way the Main Character kept his Resolve and

never let himself go completely ape sh!t .

A woman, I don't care how wanton, is going to tell a room full of strangers that she's going to give her husband her ass, pussy, breasts etc in those terms.

It was jarring and it broke the suspension of disbelief. Yes, this is a male fantasy story, but you're better then this!

That's what happens when you don't proof read.

A woman WON'T tell a room of strangers she's willing to give up her ass to her intended. Not that baldly.

Always a pleasure to read your stories

he is a retard and the novel is incoherent because only a retard would marry a crazy whore like Tiff

Was the stupidest I've heard. His fidelity was never a point of contention during their first run, according to what we were presented with at least. Any one who runs off for a month on the other side of the country, to what is to most people on vacation, a lovers paradise (potential lover included) is a cause for doubt.

The story was well written and flowed well but the end was unbelievable. Although she said she would do things together they (he or she) did not address the fundamental disrespect and humiliation she had cast upon him for so long.

I think the problem wasn't one of joint bank accounts and trust but of disrespect and this was not addressed.

Otherwise well done.

I really liked this story. What a surprise ending. I didn't see that coming. Good job Daniel.

To be led thru intricacies of this superbly crafted story by a Master of the Words. What a wonderful entertainment.

This is a type of Craft which should cause 99% of Lit. writers to drop their heads in shame and withdrew their excreta from public eyes! Thank you Mr Steele.

AS ALWAYS DQS's STORIES ARE COMPLETE....WELL WRITTEN WITH GOOD PLOTS AND CHARACTERS. IN THIS STORY, I AM/WAS UNABLE TO CONNECT ALL THE TIME LINES. FROM JUNE 2006 UP TO SEPT 2009. MAYBE I MISSED OR WAS UNABLE TO PUT THEM INTO PERSPECTIVE. STILL IT WAS A GOOD STORY. TK U MLJ LV NV

One thing that bothered me from day one: His cell phone. You already established that he knows of the O-F-F button. He knew enough to screen his calls when he left her.

But the simple fact of caller id block, or NOT GIVING HER HIS NEW NUMBER just doesn't occur to a guy who is living paycheck to paycheck. He wants to coordinate seeing his girls? Fine! Call from work. Block caller i.d. Get a home phone or hang up after the first moan.

That was a bit of a stretch....but like I said, I get sucked into this one every time I start to read it. That says something.

The Tiffany woman and her mother are amazing, and not in a good way.Getting away from them where the vacation was the last straw. She goes away and is suprised at the fact he left. Abuse and humiliation folllows and sexually throwing whatever in his face. His penis was insulted to boot with no present or future ability to do it for her anymore.

And he just listened to a bunch of her dribble, and not hang up/walk out.

AT a point that passed, she burned the bridge, blew it up and that should have been it. He gesture, a tad bit late.

I think your critics are all wrong. I think they are somewhat jealous that you can enthrall all of them. Because...you are the best story teller on here! You can make the wife appear to be the most treacherous and hurtful women in the world to her husband at times, and then have her and him work through their basic problems of being mismatched to change enough to reconcile and restore their great love for each other. An Author described romatic kind of love most of us have never experienced. If only we could- If we could do we too would crawl through hell to restore it no matter what or how are fragile egos have been destroyed. I am a romantic I guess and these kind of stories highly appeal to me. I am sorry that the kick Em to the Kurb types hate this plot and these type of lovers. That only tells me that they no longer have much romance in their life or soul. Humans are not generally made to mate for life without straying. Very few primates or animals are. I personally do not believe anyone that says they have never strayed or lusted for someone ever. In this story she did not cheat sexually until the divorce was final. She only threatened to do so because she was trying to change her husband to be like she was- Just to justify some kind of respect for him. After the heartbreak of him leaving she finally ended up overcoming what her Mother had brainwashed her into believing and being. At the end she agreed to take the plunge and fully give her love and her full trust. Neither He nor She ever quit loving each other.

For those that really mean they cannot continue to read this great writer...go find a lesser writer that writes your kind of story! You know you will come back. If for no other reason than you can express your thoughts as a critic as someone else said. I only read most of those other stories now because Daniel Steele cannot write enough stories fast enough to sustain my desire to follow the life of his characters. All of them! I am so limited myself as a amateur writer that I can only develope one or two characters at a time and have quit trying. Too many rejections with my own novel her on LIT!

But, I don't need to as long as I can read the entertainment this writer provides. As far as you other good Authors are concerned- You all agree that your stories please some and not others. This Author basically writes about mismatched couples that either can or cannot get back together after having their differences lead to hurtful actions. In all the stories they had a good marriage in all ways except in the ways they mismatched. Don't we all????

This is only the fourth time in past 2 years when I awarded this rating to a story on Lit.

This by far exceeds any level of a writing prowess,anywhere, and especially on Lit.

It is superbly crafted by a very gifted Author. Thank you.

So I skipped a lot and gave it 2**.

I agree with DWornock... there is to much bullshit.

His is just another loser with low self esteem.

I read this story frequently . It parrallels all too closely a relationship I had that didn't end nearly as well . I freely admit to seeing the story's faults that critics here have detailed (some with more skill then others) but feel that they don't know the dissonance created when a woman that you would die for and investedyour emotional and fiscal resources commits a flagrant sortie against one's moral code. To survive you have to let her go - it's not negotiable. Btw I saw the woman who put me thru the wringer. She had grown as a person ... About 40 pounds and tried to compensate with hideous peroxide dye job. I count myself lucky to have read this story and gone thru the angst . Ty DSS and 5 stars . Hope the muse sings siren style in terms of adding to P&P saga.

worst story ever....

DW. Stop trashing everyone elses stuff. Excellent story as usual. Can't wait to see what new stuff you being out.

but it lacks erotic content for being considered an erotic story. You have to really use your imagination and let it run wild to enjoy its eroticism, like when Tiffany called Bruce when she was being fucked by Stephen. To me, this is more like a romance story than an erotic story.

But overall, I love it.

This is as good as it ever gets.I may go overboard a little but it gets me when I wade thru an excreta of LW and encounter such a gem. Also reading thru some comments a saying comes to my mind, "throwing pearls before swine"! And it is exactly that.

Extremely well done Daniel.Good luck!

This story is like having a beautiful painting (well written) smeared with shit. (rotten plot).

The loser in this effort is almost as bad as the wimps in Britease's bullshit.

Steele1, you simply can't avoid making a man into a cuckolded wimp, can you. The correct ending to this sorry tale was for him to tell her to go to hell and, in response, she put the pistol in her mouth and pull the trigger. Good riddance to a slut.

Steele, grow some balls.

The sexual infidelity wasn't the story. Very nicely done!

Another great story. I know I'm kind of a fool for reconciliation stories, and it seemed far-fetched after what Tiffany did to Bruce, but the way it was handled, at least it made sense. Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the great work. Wherever and whenever you want to make your next release, make sure to notify we fans od DanielQSteele1! 5 stars for some great storytelling. ^__^

He is not. However,you are. I am judging by the way I devour every word of your stories and without fail it creates a wonderful feelings in your readers and smile on their faces. That is the mark of a superb Author. Thank you.

My favorite story on this site. It has heart. The wife's abandonment of her husband, which shows such disrespect and causes extreme hurt on the husband, though far-fetched, is made understandable by showing her emotional problems, and outlook in general on life and marriage and money and family; all resulting from a father's betrayal and abandonment.

She is not a bad person, but a screwed up one.

This is an interesting variation of the "husband hits the road" kind of LW stories. His refusal to go to counseling, or to talk to his wife about what he feels he has to do once they start talking by phone a couple weeks into her trip to Hawaii, and his abandonment of her upon her return, pretty much doomed the relationship as much as a husband hitting the road will do in other stories. Yet....he sticks around for the kids; and actually works on rebuilding a life.

I like the little twists and turns woven into the story, and I think the reconciliation is satisfying.

I don't understand the critics ("Burn the Bitch" crowd) who think this character is a wimp for taking her back. Maybe he was a wimp for the way he handled his abandonment of her (though a little pay-back was obviously part of it-and she deserved to suffer for her actions); which, coincidentally, probably hurt him as much as it hurt her.

Just so many cool threads and creative variations on common themes in the LW genre are in this story. Add to it the happy ending, and it is very satisfying. I've read it many times over, and spent time thinking about this story and these characters while doing mundane chores, etc. I can't say I've done much of either for any other story I've read on this site. Really, really, really good.

Just clean up your editing, slacker.

While I enjoy a good "burn the bitch" story as much as anyone, I recognize that in real life, relationships are more complex and the resolution of conflict can go in many directions. Revenge stories have a certain catharsis, but when a couple has had a real love relationship, invested a number of years, and/or have children together the resolution is seldom simple even if one or both have inflicted great hurt upon the other. Your stories do a great job of illustrating those complexities. Thank you.

I enjoyed the story! No wonder "Bruce" could not get the GAN published. O'ahu does not have "black sand" beaches! That would be the "Big Island", named Hawai'i. Hawai'i has Macadamia farms, factories, black sand beaches, volcanoes and even a "green sand beach" at South Point. It is the youngest Isle. Us Hawaiians dislike having our 7 Islands lumped together. All are very independent and different.

Kaua'i is the Garden Isle, with the Grand Canyon of the Pacific, the wettest spot on Earth Mount Waialeale and is the oldest Isle.

O'ahu is the "gathering place" where most tourists visit.

Moloka'i is the "Friendly Isle" and the start of the "Na Wahine O' Ke Kai and Moloka'i Hoe. The World championships of long distance outrigger canoe races, 42.6 miles long, from there to O'ahu.

Mau'i is the home of Haleakala & Mau'i the God of the Sun, the Hawaiian Superman.

There is Lana'i, a small plantation Isle.

Finally, there is Ni'ihau, privately owned and where mostly 100% Hawaiians live and produce "Ni'ihau shell" leis, Hawaiian GOLD!

Kaho'olawe is unoccupied, once a bombing range for the U.S. Now the most Sacred Isle after being returned to the Hawaiian people.

His isn't very good. She did tell him a while back that if she ever let him back in her bed she would just be faking it to make him feel good, but that she had been riuned for him. Does he really want to spend the rest of his life with a woman who fakes enjoying sex with him and only thinks about Stephen who fucked her so well that he ruined her for him? Well, she'll never be able to make good on her threat of blowing his balls off, he hasn't any anymore.

and it is still one of the best. Second readings are to enjoy the artful telling of a good story.

I read it - after a period of time - and liked it, but the word NO should have been uttered to her. He went forward and reaching back is not something that seemed right to me. The children were not lose, wifey was, and not a bad thing to stay that way.

What a surprising ending. But really, it's only surprising in the context of LW stories. In the context of real life loving, angering, getting even, and moving on, it's all shades of gray. So I guess, not so surprising. Well done, DQS. I love your character development and your dialogue.

You should at least have saved us the ending. In every story of yours, the women are depicted as unbelievable selfish - in this case also greedy - screws. And worse: the male characters always dance to the bitches' pipes.

Even in the end of this story there was never a believable reason given why Tiffany kept all her money for herself while her husband had to struggle to pay for the family's living. Don't you think you exagerated this situation a little? Any sane man would not have kept up with this situation. The given excuse that she wanted him to get into a career is quite lame.

Not my kind of stuff at all!

This is my favorite, then I read one of his others, hell, I think they're all great.

Yeah, so many of you think he's a pussy. But everything about it was warped and twisted because of her mom and dad. The fact that they did love each other so much was WHY she couldn't tell him or give in...she had a mutated belief in what she saw as love. Until it became worse for her to live without him, there was nothing he could do...but live.

I love this story because she finally risked everything to have him back. She couldn't force him, she couldn't keep hurting him as he was ready to start over with someone else finally. She had to demonstrate, to risk it all. Isn't that what we all want, in the end?

she and her mother killed in a car wreck and he got the girls and the home and her money

When did they start making cheap 32 inch black and white t.v. sets? For that matter, when did they make 32 inch black and white t.v.'s ever?

This time I started at the first word and read every one of them in one sitting until I was finished. I have so many things to do on a Sunday, but I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do than to read another one of your stories.

I guess I'm dumbfounded at your skill as a writer. I have you in my favorites authors and will not stop reading until I've read every word of every story. Hopefully, by that time, you'll have written some more.

Thanks,

Al

Like many other readers who have commented on your writing in general, and this story in particular, you gave me a sense of reality heavily tinted with fantasy. I would like to think that no man's life could be so cruel, yet it gives credence to that ancient American Indian adage "...walk a mile in another man's moccasins...". What may be impossible for me may not be impossible for the man who owns those moccasins.

Terrific story that reflects pure fantasy. I get it, the female fantasy of being totally domineering and in control, while also able to be submissive enough to regain a stand-up guy who is really far too good to be with her. I'm sure women love this stuff, but I found the story hard to stomach. Still, this was quite a compelling tale.

Or shoot her. SHE has the unmitigated GALL to tell him what SHE will do to HIM if he cheats ?

Oh, for god's sake, he should tahe the effin gun, shoot her, then shoot himself.

And any sane person would think that she slept with the guy while on vacation. So she's surprised when he's gone when she comes back?

She does then proceed to screw the remarkably endowed Stephen and calls her ex while she's having sex telling him that her lover is so much better than he was.

Then, when they hook up, he asks her about Stephen. She wants to get back with her ex, so she says, "Yes, Bruce, he was that big. Even a couple of inches makes a difference, and he was good. And I loved the way he fucked me and he did reach places you never did. And he made me cum over and over."

I don't believe it. There is such a thing as a white lie. When your wife asks you, "Honey, do these jeans make me look fat?" Do you say, "Jesus, Marge, your ass looks bigger than the state of Idaho."

I don't think so. And any woman who loved her man would say something like, "No, Bruce. He was bigger than you soft, but hard you were about the same. And he never made love to me as well as you did."

There are some things people who love each other don't say to each other unless it's in extreme anger. And even then they shouldn't. Because sometimes you can't get over it. It can't be taken back. Maybe he still loves his ex wife. But would you really get back with someone who wouldn't tell a little white lie to save your feelings? Would you really get back with someone who told you her ex boyfriend was a lot better in bed than you? The author is telling us that this woman is capable of hurting her husband in the worst possible way by going on vacation with another man and with their children, and yet she's not capable of telling a little white lie when getting back together might depend on it? I wouldn't want a woman like that. In fact, I'm not sure that any woman would behave like that.

To me, that is the flaw in DanQ's writing. It's not whether there's reconciliation or not. He has the wives absolutely humiliate the husbands that they profess they are in love with in such an extreme way that, in real life, there would be no getting back together. There was a story on this site where the wife, in a fit of uncontrolled jealousy, castrated her husband. He eventually got back with her. Do any of you think that's even remotely possible? I don't. In the same way DanQ has the wives emotionally castrate their husbands and then puts them back together. No, in real life, sometimes you can say things that can't be forgiven.

She took him back because he was a success(he brought something to the to the table in-case of divorce) we don't go around picking bums from the street,not with today's divorce laws.

Only thing was she matured faster than him.It wasn't about the incomes it was the ignored opportunities....he was a boy living in lala land,she was a wife providing for a family.

Bigger this?,simple pettiness daughters would have told mom of bigger boobs on new girlfriend only way she could was the phone..."law doesn't take too lightly to conveying such information through minor offspring"...."we watch as mom enjoyed being....come on?"... p.s big dick was idiot "fuck me while moan to ex?...if it so important go fuck him...it is the only reason i am only getting any"....see gone after no more phone calls.

Children are not idiots they would have noticed dads changes and improved income and told mom he was moving on...reaction?...short lived marriage...

....the man in the boy she love was coming out and might never need her.

In the end he sees he wants her but not needs her,....she needed him never wanted..... recognizes to meet her wants....recognizes to meet his needs

he should have shut off the sex call, then not stayed on a moment with other calls, and walked away fom the meeting. let her find another, and certainly just take a cab w/o her...and the sceen, move on and away from her.

she makes him fell like shit cheats and she threats him about cheating, what's next she'll have her lovers baby if he comes home late. What wimp of a story.

A good story up until the ending. Tiffanys' lack of empathy for her husband when she leaves for Hawaii demonstrates her true feelings towards him in my mind. I cannot reconcile that and her constant ridicule with her claims of still loving him.

Despite her protestations otherwise, his recent success does make the new marriage proposal look a little suspicious. Not in that she's looking for financial security from him, but in her statement that she loves him no matter what. It also floors me that she thinks it necessary to threaten him about cheating when she was the one that effectively killed the marriage in the 1st place. She doesn't get it.

I would have had a few changes, when she said I love you from hawaii, at the airport and in the end not taken her back.

I would have him say: "Tiff, There have been lots of times we ended without I love you. The first night I hung up on you, the second night when you ended with Fuck You. Good night, Tiff", and hung up.

Then at the airport

I handed her the car keys.

"What?""

"You'll have to drive home, Tiffany. I drove my car over here."

"How -- why? I told you that we'd ride home together."

ADD. "Taxi's cost to much and not something I can afford"

"It's Ok. Leave your car here. We'll drive home together and come and get it tomorrow. it will be a nice drive for the family."

"Sorry, the parking here costs to much and I cannot afford that.

"I'll pay for It" Tiff remember, you do not pay for things, or for the vacation and I should pay myself, even if it is pocket change and you'd never even miss it. Your vacation isn't over, your not home and you can not pay for this."

"I'll -- uh -- you just drive home and get settled in."

I pushed the keys into her hands and walked her around to the driver's side.

It was time for me to rub her nose in it.

In the end, "and what will you tell people, I work at a video store, or I am a part owner of an ad agency. No, Tiff you want the ad agency guy and I am the video store guy and you do not want him. No. Goodbye".

But other then those few things it is a great story.

Thanks

Did Q's new story disappear? Was it something I said? Man, I was looking forward to the second chapter! Anyone help me here? I was away a couple days.

DQS left a comment yesterday saying the chapters to his new story would be submitted after the prior one is published. He said the first chapters were initially rejected and this threw off his original timing estimate. I find that curious since his editor hasn't read the story yet. I think DQS is the author of Why? and can't finish this one either. Pity.

...with H.Jekyll. His work on Asstr has that emotional punch with many fewer chapters and realistic sentiments of the husband..

Never considered DSQ as author of "Why" but that could make sense. That story stalled out as did perhaps "Ghosts". How do you move their a plot along without revenge? Wallowing in self pity is only good for a page.

I've recently thought of a way to do so without Army Ranger buddies/hacking accounts/wrecking the lives of others while still resolving the husband's pain; and as a by product inflicting a modicum of embarrassment. Maybe I'll try to write it up.

Leaves me sick, the wife treated him with such blatant contempt, demeans him and is a complete crazy bitch throughout the story and he takes her back this guy needs to be in a mental hospital.

makes it difficult to take your comments about man-woman relationships seriously, perhaps your insight into BrokeBack Mountain would be more appropriate.

that her fuck budy was better than he had ever been - but he wasn't "chopped liver" sort of like saying - "for a fat lady you sure don't sweat much".

He is a masochist. She is breathtakingly arrogant and cruel.

No problem with separate money in general. He's paying the mortgage? Why? She should contribute 50% of the bills. And if she wants a bigger house than he can comfortably afford, she pays the difference.

When she went on vacation she made it clear how little she respected him and that she was going to be hanging out with a stud and going to rub his face in it. The woman is worth millions and won't spring for $8000 for her husband. That's not just wanting to keep your money separate, that's a mental illness. It's absolutely ZERO threat to her independence or security. It's a one time thing and totally within her control. The money was simply another form of torture. Bringing the girls along to hang out with their "Uncle" was more torture. She is not just protecting herself, she is inflicting pain on her husband through careful calculation.

The whole phone sex torture thing was completely unbelievable. He had to know SHE was calling and he still answered and listened over and over and then he breaks his phone each time? He must really like humiliation and torture.

Her conversion at the end was magical. Really magical. As such, the story belongs in the SciFi/Fantasy category. And she is "all his" but she's also going to shoot his balls off. Ahhh, the love of his life.

Also, he has had absolutely NO success as a writer? Guess he's not very good at it. He'll probably be writing books that no one reads until he is dead.

If you like to see good people abused, I guess this would be a good story. I don't so I don't like it.

How about the disrespect? Nope, still won't work, she will never change will still be throwing big dicked taunts (or rather small dick) and insults at him as he wil never be big enough.

This was a complete waste of my time. Good writing style but what sickness. The writer is obviously a closet submissive and cuckold. The title should have reflected this so I would'nt waist my time.

Hard to envisage an enduring relationship over many years where personal events between a divorced couple need to be believable, realistic and might occur in everyday life. This tale falls short, it does not engender a sense of realism in parts, and for hubby to be wimp-like in his actions over a decade for example, then beats up her boyfriend one night in a sudden fit of pique? Go figure.

if you're just immature or unrealistic? You make the main female characters in your stories out to be size-crazed and the male characters to either be lacking in size or owners of monster cocks? In reality, most women don't lust for 10 inches or judge a man's ability by his length. Length rarely has any relationship to performance. You could have saved a bit of this story by revealing that Stephen was no more or less endowed than Bruce or even had blessed Bruce with more than Stephen. But where your stories generally fall apart is when the female character provides great detail of how great her lover was while trying to get back with her husband. Few men would go near a woman (no matter how great the love) after hearing that. It's a deal breaker--men know it and women know it... somehow you don't.

You're a fine writer, but you really need to work on making us not roll our eyes at the end of your stories..

That was a great short story. Deeply touching and wonderfully written. Keep up the good work.

-G

All of your work is good, some even excellent, but this one is the best. I come back and read it every now and then just to get that feeling from the ending.

All I can say is that I was in tears at the end. Beautifully crafted tale that caught me totally off guard. Loved it! You are truly gifted.