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Click hereWe cleaned up, got dressed, and walked to breakfast, her on my arm. It was a beautiful day, and I was in the company of a beautiful woman. She was radiant in the morning light.
After breakfast, we walked back down for one last look at the Falls, finally checking out just prior to 11. Three hours later, we were in Ithica, her new home.
We'd left home only a few days ago, siblings embarking on a long road trip. We reached our destination as lovers; the true journey having nothing to do with the road.
Doesn't feel genuine or realistic at all. Build up to sex does not feel earned or truly emotional, its all so rushed and comes out of nowhere. Also, there is no way a girl who's never had an orgasm would have any proficiency at giving a handjob or a blowjob. Good sex requires practice, there's a reason people's first times are awkward. The descriptions of the characters at the start are also redundant; show, don't tell. Let the reader's imaginations create an image of the characters, don't simply tell them to imagine a specific famous person. I ended up just skipping those paragraphs entirely because they didn't help to create an image of the characters at all. And, if the story is well written and emotive enough, the physical characteristics of the characters should not matter.
Great storyline, some problems as already commented on (both 401 and 403 are major "interstate" highways with the heaviest traffic in the country) and one more proofread may have caught wrong words and misspelled words that trip up the flow of the story when reading.
Please write more of what happens to Amy and Peter, this could be made into an epic tale of love encountered by those who are not supposed to become intimate, but do and have to navigate the world knowing their truth. My hope is the next story will get that 5th star!
Please do research. It's a paved road! It has 4 lanes with 30,000 cars! Omg, there is so much pavement! Since the 90's, the road has been the opposite of dirt! When I read my free incest porn, I want my roadways described accurately! Why did you say it was a dirt road?! Whyyyyyyyyyyy!