All Comments on 'Simon Says'

Rattling off character descriptions as if reading sports stats is lazy and wholly unnecessary. Either allow the characters' details to be revealed naturally within the story or don't include them and let the readers use their imaginations. I stopped after the third paragraph, because stories that start out that way are hardly worth the read, I'm sad to say.

Unfortunately very difficult to read, as there's a lot of missing punctuation and grammar.

I liked it, and he ended up with the right girl.