All Comments on 'Sir'

Get an editor for dear lord

The story concept is really good but you have some issues with the way you’ve written this. Kudos for being brave enough to submit a story.

An editor or proofreader would be a huge help, failing that read it out loud to yourself before sending it in.

You need to use complete words; Bc might be fine for a text message but not a story, abbreviating it in the body of the story makes it look silly. It is ok to use it if you’re including it as a text message within the story.

As for the plot mechanics you said her mouth was taped so how could she answer so clearly or nod?

Why would he compromise her breathing by taping her mouth, putting a pillow case over her head and arms bound behind her it appears she on all fours with head down. That position puts pressure on the shoulders, neck and chest, it’s overkill and unsafe if they’re trying something new.

That alone makes him seem inexperienced.

It doesn’t look like she trusts her Dom at all, if they haven’t explored pleasurable pain it’s highly unlikely that a flogging would be too painful, it’s usually a “thudding” sort of impact.

Then you’ve got the ending which in any D/s relationship would probably mean a punishment for the submissive.

Tess (uk)