All Comments on 'Sister Turns Brother into Pet'

I like ur ideas, but ur English needs work. Ur sis wears a hijab, so I assume Muslim; seems there would b religious issues over dominating her older brother, n so casually jerking him off. Perhaps so back story on how she has been forced to kowtow to him as older male n now she gets revenge? Also,,I’ve never known a female dog to forcibly fuck a male... idk. And what magic makes this wimp cum twenty times in one evening. Even an extra for a last slap? Wow! Maybe I should run naked. Wouldn’t the guys who caught him all fuck him? Maybe the girls should make him lick their asses?

All said, keep writing, ask someone on Literotica to edit for u, and lock ur doors:)

Sister provides situations where her brother can experience pleasure. More to come wit her friend. Good show.

You jump back and forth between 1st and 3rd person constantly. A dude doesn't cum over and over in that short of a time and at the drop of a hat. Also, the female dog humping him made no sense (if she were licking him or something or it were a male dog). Also, don't rush through things without details like his run in with the guys and later the girls. There needs to be some detail and build up to being screw or forced to suck them off. Also, the end needs some more fleshing out. Even if she were leading him around on a leash I assume at least his genitals need to be covered. Also, if dogs are humping him how is this not causing the police to be called etc. Getting humped or screwed by a dog would indicate a male and this would be a painful process and he could be knotted by a larger dog etc. You rushed to wrap things up without much thought. Also, how is this going on? Where are the parents, etc? It is a decent first effort, but you need to flesh out the details and make things at least marginally believable. Also, please stick to either 1st person (I, me) or 3rd person (he, him) bouncing back and forth is distracting (I understand this is a 2nd language for you), I would go with 1st person only because to me it is more intense and humiliating if the person themselves is telling the story. Good luck in the future and don't be discouraged. It takes bravery just to post a story.

Are you writing more? I wanna hear what else happens to him.

He jumps back and forth between 1st and 3rd person because this author stole this story from someone else and inserted new material throughout it, then reposted it as his own work.

The parts that are actually written with correct English are the original parts. The parts that don't make sense were added by this guy!

You need to stick to 1st person

You need to flesh out ideas more with more details like what do the guys look like from what you can make out, short or tall, thin or muscular, describe their cocks, and what you feel. If you aren't gay then getting entered is really going to hurt.

How about leave out the dog being female and somehow screwing you and have it keep shoving its nose up your butt and licking you driving you to distraction. Maybe it trying to mount you and you push it off and you backing up to a sapling or something.

I don't care if you are 19 you can't cum every 3 minutes. Have the dog get you rock hard and maybe the guys build you to orgasm and then struggle to get off for the girls. Also, who pays for everything that you and your sister are living alone and think through the coming attractions. She obviously can't walk him around town naked on a leash and have dogs fuck him in public. Maybe their parents were killed in a car accident and they inherited a great deal of money. She sells the house and all of his and his parents stuff and buys a nice place in the country (isolated, but just a few miles out so her friends etc can visit). He is kept naked or in women's clothes when she wants. Her friends can bring their males dogs to visit her 'bitch'. She decides he is ejaculating too much and orders some toys a chastity with catheter with screw in cap so she can control his urination if she wants, butt plug tail, black leather jock, muzzle/mask, o ring gag, collar, leash, knee pads that keep the knees bent, paw gloves for the hands. He would definitely raise eyebrows but could legally be taken for a walk with his muzzle, jock, tail, paws, kneepads, collar, and leash (the jock might have to be exchanged for shorts with a hole for the tail. EIther way extremely humiliating . At home possibly the muzzle/dog head exchanged for the o-ring so things can be inserted into his mouth and the shorts/jock removed so only tail and chastity. Of course with the paws on his hands the chastity might be removed to tease him as he won't be able to wank etc.

Cute story

There's so much wrong with this, I don't know where to start...

>Switching between 1st and 3rd person

>Sister just abruptly snapping and going psycho on her brother

>No descriptions, no set up, no establishing anything.

>You somehow think a female (how does the MC know that?) would want to suck a man's dick. Have you never actaully seen a dog? Dogs don't do oral, and you're kinda delusional for thinking it.

>Wow, the underling homophobia in this story... You got some issues, dude.

>The girls saying they can't believe someone would throw their brother out naked... Isn't that just you admitting that your own story is pretty bad and you made the sister go psycho as a total plot contrivance because you couldn't think of anything better?

>Cum 20 times in one evening? Between this, the psycho sister, the homophobia, and the FEMALE (so specific) dog engaging in fellatio, I'm starting to think you have a tenuous grasp on reality...

>Did you really steal this story and repost it with some VERY badly added parts? WTF?

You not only stole this story but the bits you did write were written horrible. Just give up writing.

Try harder