All Comments on 'Ski Vacation in Austria Ch. 01'

Strange little tale which showed potential, but desperately needs the help of an editor. I would suggest not publishing the next until you’ve got this first part into shape. Two pieces of advice if I may. Firstly lose the play writing style of putting the character’s name before dialogue - it’s never something that works well in a story. Secondly stick to past tense throughout; your switches between tenses make the writing very hard to read.