All Comments on 'Slut Son Ch. 10 - Rucksacks'

Love this series!

@Anonymous, thanks! I'm working hard chapter 11 and I hope you're looking forward to Brigit’s return.

great story hope there is more to come

@alfred104, thank you and I'm working hard on the next chapter. Showing my hand, but where I ultimately want to take this story is to introduce Simon's second aunt, then his cousin, and then finally his grandmother. With a few adventures along the way.

Great chapter, don't have anything special to add beyond that, except that I'm glad you are including lots of different female bodies in this series, from a little plus sized to hardcore bodybuilder now, most authors tend to just basically default to their likes and then every woman is a slight variation of that. Nice trick also with the blue background formatting for the sms messages. Looking forward to the return of Lion(ess)-O!

@Zurrlock, I got nervous when I saw your name ;) In all seriousness, I actually look forward to your reviews. This series is really my first ever serious attempt, so I'm trying out different situations, body types, and personalities. Seeing what sticks, what people like. I still think about a previous review you gave me, how there needs to be an escalation in arousal with each installment. And since I have 20 or so chapters planned, I worry about keeping readers interested; hopefully Brigit’s return gets people fired up. Thank for reading this chapter, and your assessment. I look forward to hearing what you think of the next chapter (I will also take tips on keeping readers invested).

If you found it that helpful before, then maybe I can offer some more constructive criticism/tips, though note this is just the thoughts of a prolific reader; I don't have anything written yet for consumption of others, maybe some day I'll put my money where my mouth is, but until then grain of salt and all.

On the matter of escalation, I feel like there's two ways that you can escalate a story and still make it feel 'fresh' multiple chapters in, either sexually through providing ever more freaky sex acts, or emotionally, by exploring more of what the main characters are about, and showing more from side characters. This chapter fell in the latter part, there's nothing 'new' or 'fresh' here in terms of sex that wasn't in previous chapters, and the sex store chapter was a lot more of the same thing in terms of exhibition and someone cocky realizing they had bitten over more than they could swallow, this chapter really just had Simon getting exhausted and a female hardbody getting added to the mix in that regard. On the other hand, we got an insight into Simon not wanting to give up no matter the pain if he's given a promise, even when it was not one with pussy at the end of it necessarily even if it turned out like that, Kelli being emotionally fleshed out and getting a revelation or two of her own, and Simon fully committing to the 'slut son' lifestyle by stating it out loud to an outsider, to "speak it into existence" so to say in a way he hasn't before to that extent. And in that regard it was emotionally fresh, and felt like a great chapter to add on. In the previous chapter the main thing we got aside from exploring Simon's anal interests was really his and Candice's brief dueling feelings about her showing herself off to the other gym bros; I'm not quite sure *how* but you could have maybe played that up, Candice firmly deciding her emotional and sexual commitment to Simon when presented with the temptation of other men finding her arousing without Simon directly there to cockblock anyone? Unless you intend to have her go another route in the future at least.

If you are planning it for that long, for longer form stories finding something new or fresh in either way may be difficult over that time, so don't kick yourself too hard (at least, not so hard you consider stopping writing) if you don't quite hit either the emotional or titillating 'freshness' every time, several of my favorite stories here have abridging chapters that might be considered redundant in that sense that they didn't necessarily add that element in every chapter, yet being a glutton for good writing and stories that I am, I prefer a few redundant chapters if I can get them, and I think most writers are like that in the end.

Hope this helped some more! And if you are intending to make a long-form story as you say, maybe you could look into publishing it somewhere as an ebook at the end? I'd buy it! I think Smashwords is probably safer than Amazon, they tend to be very selective in enforcing rules as to when a story has too much smut in it regarding if they'll allow it. Not sure if the incest content is an issue on either platform, or if you'd have to do a classic search-replace for any familial words and slap "step" onto it...